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Mia1978 -> Sucking (5/13/2005 11:44:05 AM)
I have very little guidance from my master on this, and I have many fears and little experience. What are some of the greatest ways I can suck him dry? Position, technique, depth....???? If your sub has ever shown fear or distaste for it, what do you tell her to push her to keep going? He will never force me, so the control will have to come from my own mind. I want to learn how to deep throat too, but fear somehow my teeth will get in the way and cause him displeasure. How can I be good? How can I make him feel ever so powerful and pleased?

Foibey -> RE: Sucking (5/13/2005 12:35:57 PM)
As far as learning to deep throat goes, you can learn that on a dildo if you can't learn practicing on your Master.

SirKenin -> RE: Sucking (5/13/2005 12:51:26 PM)
I do not know how graphic I am allowed to be here, so hopefully a mod will quickly intervene if I am out of line. However, to answer your question I feel I have to be. The best way to do that is to keep your jaws as far apart as possible, first of all. Then, wrap your lips around the shaft and push your tongue up against it as well. Slide up and down slow at first, taking the time to stop and lick around the head, which is the most sensitive area and will get most of your attention, and up and down the shaft. Then go back to sucking. Go reasonably slow at first. you can use your hand as well as your mouth if you cannot deep throat, which many women can not because of their gag reflex. Some women use the technique of twisting their hand as they go up and down, and this can work well, but make sure the shaft is lubricated or it can get uncomfortable. The longer you are at it, the faster you go. The key, I think, is to remain steady. Stops and starts can build him up close, but then the pressure will subside. That is a useful tool if you are building up to a big finale though. The faster you go, the more you should focus on the top portion, especially the head. The bulk of the nerve endings are there and that is where the stimulation comes from. If you can do that at a reasonably fast and steady pace, maintaining it only to stop to relax your jaws and massage the head and shaft with your hand and tongue, then you should be able to get him to climax. That is the short form. As it is, I fear I might get in trouble, so I do not want to go into more details than that. However, there it is from a man that knows how he likes to get it.

Mia1978 -> RE: Sucking (5/13/2005 1:11:29 PM)
Thank you for your details. I hope no trouble is caused by it, I had no idea there could be such limitations. You gave insight on many things I did not know and I will try your suggestions and hope he is pleased. My appologies for any trouble.

ruffnecksbabygir -> RE: Sucking (5/13/2005 1:38:50 PM)
SK, those were great tips! mia, it's also important that you discuss it with your Master since each man is different, for example, my Master does not let me use my hands, etc... ask him what he likes, how he likes it, you can even incorporate that into dirty talk. best of luck! btw, i need to figure out how to stop my teeth from getting in the way!!

Raphael -> RE: Sucking (5/13/2005 1:39:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mia1978 I have very little guidance from my master on this, and I have many fears and little experience. What are some of the greatest ways I can suck him dry? Position, technique, depth....???? If your sub has ever shown fear or distaste for it, what do you tell her to push her to keep going? He will never force me, so the control will have to come from my own mind. I want to learn how to deep throat too, but fear somehow my teeth will get in the way and cause him displeasure. How can I be good? How can I make him feel ever so powerful and pleased? There is really a huge amount of individual variation in this. Some men like teeth, for instance, while some find the slightest touch from them ruins the mood. So you really need to ask HIM for advice. Only he can teach you to do it the right way for him.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Sucking (5/13/2005 2:00:04 PM)
To the OP: The last two comments are very important. The main problem is not that you don't know how to suck him, but that you don't get much guidance from him about it. Why don't you? Is he unwilling to discuss it? Are you unwilling to raise the issue? Lam

Raphael -> RE: Sucking (5/13/2005 2:32:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ruffnecksbabygir btw, i need to figure out how to stop my teeth from getting in the way!! This is one reason why I think the old 'practice with a banana' routine is great, personally. Try to avoid leaving any tooth-marks on the banana, it's a great way to get immediate, tangible feedback on your technique, and lets you experiment without risk.

SirKenin -> RE: Sucking (5/13/2005 4:04:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Raphael quote: ORIGINAL: ruffnecksbabygir btw, i need to figure out how to stop my teeth from getting in the way!! This is one reason why I think the old 'practice with a banana' routine is great, personally. Try to avoid leaving any tooth-marks on the banana, it's a great way to get immediate, tangible feedback on your technique, and lets you experiment without risk. What a novel, yet ingenious, idea.

ProtagonistLily -> RE: Sucking (5/13/2005 4:24:40 PM)
quote: Twisted Posts: 258 Joined: 10/31/2004 From: Barrie, ON Canada Status: online I do not know how graphic I am allowed to be here, so hopefully a mod will quickly intervene if I am out of line. However, to answer your question I feel I have to be. The best way to do that is to keep your jaws as far apart as possible, first of all. Then, wrap your lips around the shaft and push your tongue up against it as well. Slide up and down slow at first, taking the time to stop and lick around the head, which is the most sensitive area and will get most of your attention, and up and down the shaft. Then go back to sucking. Go reasonably slow at first. you can use your hand as well as your mouth if you cannot deep throat, which many women can not because of their gag reflex. Some women use the technique of twisting their hand as they go up and down, and this can work well, but make sure the shaft is lubricated or it can get uncomfortable. The longer you are at it, the faster you go. The key, I think, is to remain steady. Stops and starts can build him up close, but then the pressure will subside. That is a useful tool if you are building up to a big finale though. The faster you go, the more you should focus on the top portion, especially the head. The bulk of the nerve endings are there and that is where the stimulation comes from. If you can do that at a reasonably fast and steady pace, maintaining it only to stop to relax your jaws and massage the head and shaft with your hand and tongue, then you should be able to get him to climax. That is the short form. As it is, I fear I might get in trouble, so I do not want to go into more details than that. However, there it is from a man that knows how he likes to get it. Well now....it appears you could start on the "workshop" circuit ;) I don't know whether to applaud or be horrified frankly LOL. Well done at any rate, Lily

mistoferin -> RE: Sucking (5/13/2005 4:32:42 PM)
quote: I have very little guidance from my master on this The only way you are ever going to really know how HE likes it is to get guidance and feedback from HIM. Some men like a feather light touch....others want you to pretend you are trying to suck the chrome off of a Harley. Some like it very slow and steady....while others want it to be aggressive and fast. Some like you to stay around the head...some aren't happy unless they are smashing their balls on your chin. Some like hands...some want no hands. Each and every man likes it slightly different. Without his feedback I am afraid that He will never get it exactly like He likes it.

MaitresseEden -> RE: Sucking (5/13/2005 4:42:48 PM)
Chiming in as a Mistress.. Cocksucking can also be an extremely Dominant act if done right. It is important to introject that ORal Sex does have STD risks, so make sure you know the health of whom you are sucking.. And remember that many men like the balls sucked too.. Ms. Eden

Quivver -> RE: Sucking (5/13/2005 8:20:22 PM)
All very good suggestions! But since were on one of my favorite subjects I'd like to add a couple things. [:D] Start with asking, but you can also learn a lot by listening, feeling and tasting. Listening is the easy one, good noises affirm something is right. Feeling is somewhat learned. Heat and thickness will change as you learn to feel. Taste follows right along with the heat and thickness. But use what you've got, and what you can. Hands, Hair, the bend of your neck, the side of your noes. And don't forget to pay some attention just slightly lower, now of course you need to be extra careful, but sucking, licking and pulling every so slightly I've found has produced good noises for the most part. trial and error, with more trial and you'll be just fine! Q once a thumb sucker always a thumb sucker!

LadyAngelika -> RE: Sucking (5/13/2005 11:56:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily quote: ORIGINAL: SirKenin However, there it is from a man that knows how he likes to get it. Well now....it appears you could start on the "workshop" circuit ;) I don't know whether to applaud or be horrified frankly LOL. Well done at any rate, Lily Oh Lily. I learned how to give a perfect blowjob by having 2 of my gay male friends demonstrate on one another, then trying on the sort of bi one and getting pointers from the second... On the flip side, I've taught many a man how to eat pussy ;) Not such a far fetched idea! For the record, Kenin has a pretty good technique! - LA

Focus50 -> RE: Sucking (5/14/2005 1:22:35 AM)
You can give him sexual pleasure but you can't make him feel powerful, as in a D/s dynamic, if he isn't using your oral service as an act of domination. But, D/s aside, I'd have to question if he actually enjoys even a vanilla headjob if he's not giving you feedback or tips, let alone instruction! Within BDSM, oral service is, IMO, arguably the most dominant physical action one can perform over another; even though the submissive is a willing participant. Consequently, I often use it solely as an act of domination, rather than actual oral sex; which means setting the right head-space for my girl. That generally means she'll be naked, kneeling, hands bound behind and I'll control everything with a firm grip of her hair. It's mostly done in front of my large wall mirrors to enable her to see herself and reinforce our respective roles in each other's lives. Whether I decide to cum or not is irrelevant as it's more about the domination than oral sex. But you, even as the most willing submissive, can't generate that dynamic if your master doesn't "force" you.... Oral sex is different as that tends to be more a spontaneous thing rather than the time required to set the proper dynamic. In that instance, she's allowed to use her hands and I generally let her do as she pleases - within reason.... That you can do without your master's guidance. Personally, I think you need to discuss this with your master as it's a need in you and unusual that it doesn't seem to be for him.... Every sub I've known enjoys it just as much as I - especially as an act of domination. quote: ORIGINAL: SirKenin The best way to do that is to keep your jaws as far apart as possible, first of all. Like most, I'm not built like a horse so that's too far apart to comfortably maintain for long.... You open your mouth just enough to accomodate him but still keeping your teeth clear. Contact is primarily your lips and tongue though your teeth will inevitably contact on occasions but is usually no big deal. If it is, I'm sure he'll let you know.... Focus50.

Mia1978 -> RE: Sucking (5/14/2005 5:43:17 PM)
To answer some questions, I have tried talking to him about what he likes and what I can do to improve. He shows little interest in critique/guidance in any dept. I tried many of the ideas you all gave and what a difference!!!! He was very surprised and very satisfied. I grately appreciate your assistance. As far as the D/s dynamics, he is at the moment more of a Vanilla husband than a Master. We have talked about D/s and he can only visualize the aspects he does not like. My hope is that if I show him enough submission and worship that he will become addicted and begin demanding it of me. I don't need the whips or masks, but I crave the domination. I did not always know I was a sub, so I wonder if there is a sleeping dom in him. This may not work, but it is worth a try. This is where all of your ideas & help come in. I want to be the best sub I can (without throwing the life-style in his face), but I need a Master to guide me through some of the learning processes. I am assuming that there are things a sub can do that make her master feel powerful. I know perfectly well that each man is different, but I need to start somewhere so this is why I ask for help. Thank you for all your time.

Raphael -> RE: Sucking (5/14/2005 7:02:24 PM)
It's been my experience that situations like that don't tend to work out happily. On the other hand, it's not like my experience is a large, statistically valid sample either. Kudos to you for trying. I really think it speaks very well of you. And I wish you the best of luck.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Sucking (5/14/2005 8:31:05 PM)
Mia, it sounds like blowjob technique is the least of your worries right now. You can't train a vanilla into a master. I hope this works out for you, but I doubt it will.

Raphael -> RE: Sucking (5/14/2005 8:59:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster Mia, it sounds like blowjob technique is the least of your worries right now. You can't train a vanilla into a master. I hope this works out for you, but I doubt it will. No, you can't. But how are we to know that he is truly vanilla at his core? I think we all had to go through a process of self-discovery at some point to get here. Maybe, just maybe, he is just not self-aware yet. I wouldn't bet on it working, but I'm not going to say it's impossible. And in a world where it sometimes seems that no one cares about their commitments anymore, where the expected reaction of a woman in her situation is to satisfy her needs 'on the side' or just hire an attorney and leave the man high and dry, the fact that she's trying to make it work... I admire that. I really do.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Sucking (5/14/2005 9:49:18 PM)
quote: I want to be the best sub I can (without throwing the life-style in his face), but I need a Master to guide me through some of the learning processes. Forget about D/s for a second here. You mention in your post that you asked him to give you pointers about how he liked it and he didn't feel comfortable telling you. Regardless of your relationship dynamic, there is a much more fundemental issue of communication here. quote: I am assuming that there are things a sub can do that make her master feel powerful. You can't make him feel powerful. Power is a feeling that comes from within. You can enhance that feeling but you can't be the source of it. quote: I know perfectly well that each man is different, but I need to start somewhere so this is why I ask for help. I find it so unfortunate when I see people bending over backwards to want to please their partners and their partners aren't meeting them halfway. I hope that this situation changes for you, for the better. - LA

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