RE: question for old guard

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DrkJourney -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 11:18:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justplainjava I am sorry i did not mean to be ambiguous but with the collar me police roaming about it is sometimes hard for a person to be to truley write my feeling or state what i am really meaning not because i dont want too but because if put down excalty what i meant the collar police would not appericated it i was not seeking premisision to ask for my release for that i have already done, but instead of him doing that all he points out is why should he when i have limits from me doing certain scenes, i usually comment to him is that is not me, so realease me, and he turns arounds and states why should i? i know this is not making any sense but like i said we much becareful of big brother, which at times makes it hard to write one thoughts and feelings take care and be safse java Sweety I'm sorry I still don't understand a word you are trying to say. I take it from L.A. (and her decoder ring) that you want out of a situation. How could people that post here have any effect on the situation one way or the other. you know you want to or have left...so I"m not understanding the post.....at all

MstrssPassion -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 11:18:45 AM)
the only thing the "collar me police" are going to come down on you about is giving out persoanl information such as his full legal name, screen name or email address. Other than that... you can pretty much talk about whatever your heart desires

MstrssPassion -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 11:23:32 AM)
The only reason he has the ability to say "Why should he" is because you are given him the ability to do so. Don't let him... You told him that you want out, that you wanted to be released & you have told us all that you are no longer owned... it's over, you said you have ended it. Don't talk to him, don't accept messages from him.... over & done with should mean just that.

DrkJourney -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 11:27:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion The only reason he has the ability to say "Why should he" is because you are given him the ability to do so. Don't let him... You told him that you want out, that you wanted to be released & you have told us all that you are no longer owned... it's over, you said you have ended it. Don't talk to him, don't accept messages from him.... over & done with should mean just that. That's what my thoughts were....I was under the impression that it was already done, and they seem to be in two different states...thus my confusion. Also, looking at her profile, I was suprised at the age....which means absolutely nothing....it was just looking at her posts, content and grammar, I assumed she was a kid just starting out in the lifestyle. That's what ya get for assuming....lol

MstrssPassion -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 11:30:23 AM)
Yeah... but ya know... there's another thread I was just at with a dom who has a very cryptic writing style, maybe I should play cupid & hook the two of them up.

MsKatHouston -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 12:08:32 PM)
I'm with the other ladies here. He ca say "Why should I?" all he wants. He does not have to release you. You can just go.

ExtremeOwnerIL -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 12:19:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston I'm with the other ladies here. He ca say "Why should I?" all he wants. He does not have to release you. You can just go. I'm curious (and in a devil's advocate mood s)... Let's say for the sake of argument that both have agreed/consented to a relationship where she agrees to keep the collar until released by him. She basically makes a vow or promise. At some future point, he wishes to use her in a way that she doesn't like or doesn't feel she is good at, and asks for release and he declines. Now, given that we live in a consentual society, I agree that she can. The question that I pose is, should she? Should she stick to her vows/promises? (Assuming that we're not talking about a life threatening situation). At what point do we disregard the intent of slavery, which is to give up rights and put control of their lives in another's hands? NOTE that I'm also assuming a reality type of situation, with a Master who is not asking for criminal or harmful (permanent damage) activities. I'm taking the approach that we're talking about two people who would be fairly "reasonable" in their situation, but that at some point she's ask for release and he's declined. Regards. EO

MsKatHouston -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 12:31:00 PM)
Yes she can and that's my point. My only point, really. Whether or not she should I don't think can be assessed with the little bit of information we have. But she also states (I think) that some of the things he wants she is incapable of doing because of health reasons. It is hard for me to wrap my mind around being in a situation where my slave was continually refusing to do something I said, was continually asking for release, was whining to others about it and I would want to keep the person. Baffles me, really. But to each their own. I think there is really something to be said for working at a relationship and not leaving at the drop of a hat. But then the reality is, sometimes it is just not going to work out and it would be best to get out. Only she can decide what the correct thing for her to do is. quote: Should she stick to her vows/promises? (Assuming that we're not talking about a life threatening situation). At what point do we disregard the intent of slavery, which is to give up rights and put control of their lives in another's hands? People make vows all the time that get broken for a variety of reasons. Is it right? I suppose it is easy to look from the outside in and make judgments But only the person who is living it can determine whether it is right for them. They also have to live with the consequences, good or bad, from making that decision.

robertolapiedra -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 12:50:49 PM)
Hello mistoferin. Just read her profile. RL

DrkJourney -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 12:53:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion Yeah... but ya know... there's another thread I was just at with a dom who has a very cryptic writing style, maybe I should play cupid & hook the two of them up. perfect....but they'll need to exchange decoder rings instead of the classic wedding rings, so they'll know what the heck they are talking about....lol

DrkJourney -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 12:56:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExtremeOwnerIL quote: ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston I'm with the other ladies here. He ca say "Why should I?" all he wants. He does not have to release you. You can just go. I'm curious (and in a devil's advocate mood s)... Let's say for the sake of argument that both have agreed/consented to a relationship where she agrees to keep the collar until released by him. She basically makes a vow or promise. At some future point, he wishes to use her in a way that she doesn't like or doesn't feel she is good at, and asks for release and he declines. Now, given that we live in a consentual society, I agree that she can. The question that I pose is, should she? Should she stick to her vows/promises? (Assuming that we're not talking about a life threatening situation). At what point do we disregard the intent of slavery, which is to give up rights and put control of their lives in another's hands? NOTE that I'm also assuming a reality type of situation, with a Master who is not asking for criminal or harmful (permanent damage) activities. I'm taking the approach that we're talking about two people who would be fairly "reasonable" in their situation, but that at some point she's ask for release and he's declined. Regards. EO My thing is, why is this even a topic, since according to her journal she already left him...I'm not trying to be difficult, I'm just not sure why this thread was posted on this particular advice after the fact? hep meeeee....lol

windchymes -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 1:12:39 PM)
Theoretically, the "Master" is supposed to know what the sub/slave's limits are BEFORE collaring her. Also, there is no "collar me police" or "collar police" or "BDSM police". You are still free to come and go and do whatever you need to do for your own happiness and safety and no one will come to your house and arrest you. I promise.

robertolapiedra -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 1:18:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justplainjava I am sorry i did not mean to be ambiguous but with the collar me police roaming about it is sometimes hard for a person to be to truley write my feeling or state what i am really meaning not because i dont want too but because if put down excalty what i meant the collar police would not appericated it i was not seeking premisision to ask for my release for that i have already done, but instead of him doing that all he points out is why should he when i have limits from me doing certain scenes, i usually comment to him is that is not me, so realease me, and he turns arounds and states why should i? i know this is not making any sense but like i said we much becareful of big brother, which at times makes it hard to write one thoughts and feelings take care and be safse java Hello justplainjava. If the dom keeps putting pressure big time on you because of hard limits that were agreed before? Get out of there, it is not safe, consensual and not very healthy for one's state of mind. If you have 'new' hard limits? (for any reason) , and after you told your dom he puts pressure on you big time? you get out of there, same thing. No need for 'official' ritual release. The release is covered by the Universal Charter Of Common Sense. Now if you want somehow to stay in the relationship and having your dom accept you in your present state and capacity? When he thinks he decides 'your' limits for you? That is an impossible situation if you are to have consent and safety in that kind of relationship.RL.

KatyLied -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 1:37:53 PM)
This is me not getting the entire old guard thing, but why do girls beg for release and stay after it's denied? And then whine about it? Wouldn't it be easier to just ....... leave. Begging, release, whatever, but have the strength (or find it) to leave a relationship that is not working.

MsKatHouston -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 1:50:29 PM)
I'm with you. I don't get it. If there have been attemtpts at salvaging the situation, they have failed and you are certain you want to leave, asked for it and have been denied, I see it as two choices. You leave anyway. Or you suck it up and stay. But don't whine about it because it's not going to make a bit of difference to your particular situation. But I also don't get having a slave who clearly does not want to be with you yet wanting to keep her.

ExtremeOwnerIL -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 7:36:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston quote: Should she stick to her vows/promises? (Assuming that we're not talking about a life threatening situation). At what point do we disregard the intent of slavery, which is to give up rights and put control of their lives in another's hands? People make vows all the time that get broken for a variety of reasons. Is it right? I suppose it is easy to look from the outside in and make judgments But only the person who is living it can determine whether it is right for them. They also have to live with the consequences, good or bad, from making that decision. That is the crucial question - is it right to break a vow? Conceptually, if someone chooses to reliquish power and the decision over release, is it a right or wrong thing to just leave? What does that say about character and honesty and integrity, the supposed hallmarks of our little niche? Again, I'll note that I'm talking about reasonable situations here, where the slave has decided to ask for release and the Owner declines such release for his/her own reasons. In this age of radical individualism and so much cultural relativism, I find it refreshing to look at what truly makes a promise a real thing of value that should be honored. Regards.

ExtremeOwnerIL -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 7:38:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied This is me not getting the entire old guard thing, but why do girls beg for release and stay after it's denied? And then whine about it? Wouldn't it be easier to just ....... leave. Begging, release, whatever, but have the strength (or find it) to leave a relationship that is not working. Or have the strength to honor one's promise/vows and work within the context of the agreed upon relationship to gain release. Minus the whinging, please. Yes, it would be just easier. But does it make it right TO leave, to just drop a vow like that? Regards, EO

orfunboi -> RE: question for old guard (5/19/2007 7:50:16 PM)
Is the master holding up his end of the relationship if he ignores limits? Is it ok for her to break her vow then? To the OP - if you are unhappy, then leave him. You don't need his or anyone elses permission...just go.

ExtremeOwnerIL -> RE: question for old guard (5/20/2007 5:14:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: orfunboi Is the master holding up his end of the relationship if he ignores limits? Is it ok for her to break her vow then? We could come up with a great many worst case scenarios, but that seems to take us away from the question. And perhaps I'm not going to get an answer. Regards, EO

MstrssPassion -> RE: question for old guard (5/20/2007 6:03:15 AM)
[sm=rolleyes.gif] she could always cover up any residual guilt of breaking some vow by saying he was an abuser.... it happens everyday everyone runs for their pitch forks & torches so that they can rally around the poor abused sub

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