RE: In the real world

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LuckyAlbatross -> RE: In the real world (5/20/2007 10:46:36 AM)
You show how you want to show. Even if you had NO rules for behavior in public, you'd still be slave and master. Even if they acted and looked and behaved exactly as if they would if they were single, it would still be who they are. But, as others have said, you can have a heck of a lot of rules and rituals in place if you want and no one will really care as long as it's not loud.

womanworshipper -> RE: In the real world (5/20/2007 11:33:33 AM)
Discreet, but always clear who is in charge. "Gentlemanly" behaviour is the key. Opening doors for Her, taking Her coat, seating Her first, waiting for Her to start eating first, looking to Her to order, carrying her bags, waiting patiently for Her in shops, paying the cashier when required... With my former Mistress, who was semi-Pro, i kissed Her hand upon greeting and departing when in public. i don't do this with my current Owner, who is totally lifestyle, though generally i would say She is even more openly dominant with me than my former Mistress. i don't recall my former Mistress ordering me about or publically berating or denigrating me like my current Owner. She has also had more opportunity to do so in front of people i'm closer to such as colleagues, friends and relatives. Practically everyone at work (We/we used to work together) used to talk about how i used to let Her boss me about so clearly it was very noticeable. i've noted before how when We/we are out, She will treat me like a small, difficult child, or a servant. We/we will call each other by Our/our first names, but i always defer to Her. In another relationship this might be abusive but i would stress that it is strictly consensual and We/we both enjoy it.

MistressDoMe -> RE: In the real world (5/20/2007 11:43:49 AM)
I agree with Littlepita here. Unless we are in a lifestyle setting {party, club or small gathering}, I don't push my lifestyle on the public. Now, it is fun to quietly give him orders when we are in public. I enjoy many activities, but outsiders just tell me what a wonderful gentleman I have. If they only knew.

Celeste43 -> RE: In the real world (5/20/2007 11:55:27 AM)
I wait for him to open doors. He orders my drink usually, unless he thinks it's one of the rare occasions when I might prefer wine to iced tea. Funny thing though, I'm supposed to stay beside him and not walk behind yet anytime we're in Home Depot I always wind up behind since he knows where he's going and I never do.

ennaozzie -> RE: In the real world (5/21/2007 4:28:02 AM)
It would be how the couple would want it to be, the answers to that would range from one end of the spectrum to the other.

WillowRain -> RE: In the real world (5/21/2007 4:38:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: He has me walk on the inside when we're on a sidewalk. So few know this...VERY old standard. Just as a side note, in certain parts of the world, if you walk with your woman closer to the street than yourself, it is anoucing that she is for sale ( prostitute). Any woman someone cared about, of course they would place them further from the dangerous moving cars than themself. That's just manly.

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: In the real world (5/21/2007 5:22:22 AM)
We act the same as we do at home with a few exceptions. I don't kneel at his feet in a restaurant and things of that nature. Wherever we go I am still his slave and act accordingly. It isn't really any different for us.

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: In the real world (5/21/2007 5:38:56 AM)
Master treats me like the lady i am. Master opens doors for me (car doors as such) also pulls out my chair, and orders for me when dining out as well.(He also enjoys feeding me) There are times He will have me walk in front of Him(LOL He says i have a nice behind LOL) but mostly we walk side by side holding hands and acting like love sick teenagers (it must make people throw up in there mouths alittle when they see us LMAO) i have called Him Master in public but it was usually a slip because it so natural for me to call Him that. We are discret and considerate of others when in public.I also call Him by name as well...it really depends on the conversation and situation.

daddysprop247 -> RE: In the real world (5/21/2007 8:44:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross You show how you want to show. Even if you had NO rules for behavior in public, you'd still be slave and master. Even if they acted and looked and behaved exactly as if they would if they were single, it would still be who they are. But, as others have said, you can have a heck of a lot of rules and rituals in place if you want and no one will really care as long as it's not loud. so true. a homeless man collapsed (dead) at the top of the escalator at a metro station near here...this was in the middle of morning rush hour, hundreds of commuters actually *stepped over his dead body* and blindly went on about their business...only a single metro station employee noticed (or cared..vaguely) and finally called an ambulance after a couple of hours. disgusting, sad, but typical. most people generally don't care about what's going on with other people in the general public as long as it doesn't directly effect them. in vanilla public, there are a few standards of conduct and such that i must follow that are very obvious to my Master and i, likely invisible to the rest of the world. walking behind him, always keeping eyes lowered, not speaking before being spoken to AND looking to him for permission first, him ordering for me at restaurants, etc. He will even discipline me in public if need be, and as of yet that has gone unnoticed. there was a time years ago at a crowded mall food court when i had committed some error and he delivered a solid punch with his fist to my side although he was standing just 3 inches away from me. if we had been at home or someplace alone, i would have crumped to the floor from a blow like that. but since we were out with the "normies," i knew better than to make a sound, stumble, or even drop the tray i was holding.

earthycouple -> RE: In the real world (5/21/2007 9:27:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrJOHN I had a boy for 3 yrs and when we were out in public I am sure people tried to figure out what was up. I should note the boy is a wheelchair user due to spina bifida, he would open doors for me, get Me refills of drinks, and once we met up with my brother and sister in law ( I knew they are both kink friendly, but boy didn't know just yet) I had boy collared. My sister in law did a double take in the car then smiled. A rather fun outing happen at a steak house. boy had been ordered not to speak to anyone, our server was this young twink in his 20's, it didn't take long for him to catch on, so thru out dinner, the server stop even trying to ask boy, and would ask me " would he like more tea". This kid was so curious he kept inventing reasons to come back to our table, boy said to me ( he was allowed to speak only to Me when no one was near) " You know Sir, You are missing with that kid's head" I just answered back with an evil grin" I know". The real fun came when it was time for the check, our server first started to hand the check to Me, but must have thought, why should Master have to pay, then started to hand it to boy, but stopped, probally because boy hadn't been allowed to do anything all night, then started back towards Me, then finally put the check down exactly between us. Our server watched us leave and I saw a bit of a smile as he looked at Me, I'm sure he enjoyed replaying the night in his bedroom later that night. As for punishment, if I needed to be discreet, I had developed a look that as my boy put it, put the fear of god into him, it was my, we will discuss this later look, he knew he was in for it and I wouldn't even have to say a word. I was on board with reading this story until you declared what wondeful bedroom fodder you made...now I simply think you are an over the top poser searching for attention from strangers.

HutchGarahl -> RE: In the real world (5/21/2007 10:05:14 AM)
I don't really hide my life.......then again, I don't flaunt it wither..if you can understand that. Everyone who knows me, knows the life I lead. Except mom, my sister may have an idea, but nothing has been said. As for being in public.....I am me, my slave is my slave. He/She does as told when told. Doors are opened for me, my seat pulled when dining out and so on. When one does something to displease me, they can usually tell they're in for it by the look in my eyes. And yes, i've even disciplined in public. But that's normally just a slap upside the head, shoulder or on hand and it's a way of them knowing there is more upon returning home.

littleone35 -> RE: In the real world (5/21/2007 10:37:45 AM)
Well Master opens doors for me and when we are out in public i call him Matt even though we both know it means Master He leads me by holding my hand. As for ordering he will order for me AFTER asking what i would like to eat. He want's to make sure i will like what i am eating. My collar will look like a regular necklace why force unconsenting people to be a part of our relationship. We know what it is all about and that is all the matters. Matt's littleone

cattus69tabernus -> RE: In the real world (8/6/2007 11:16:17 AM)
Usually my owner and I are very covered in out actions too. But I remember a really pleasant expirience. We were at his home, drinking with a few close friends of him (all men, without my best girlfriend and the girlfriend of a friend of his). So we are laughing, talking and there isnt anything suspicious in us. Then he wispered in my ear a plan. After a few seconds I pretended to annoy him. So while we are sitting on the bed, he grabs me, puts me on his knees and starts spanking me infront of everyone, telling me how naughty I have been. Everyone is staring. After he lets go of me (I was struggling a lot) I cuddle in him and all his friends are even more amazed. After that he says "See? If you dont beat your woman, she wont obey you. Isnt that right, honey?". So I answered "yes". Then he asked "Tell me, honey, what will happen if I dont spank you every now and then?" and I answer with the most innocently childish voice "I wont listen to you so much and I wont be a good girl". Everyone was shocked. The other day my owner told me that his friend (who came last night with his girlfriend) tried to spank her. And after that she went to my owner and told him "Please, dont give my bf such ideas..." It was a great laugh [:D]

MisPandora -> RE: In the real world (8/6/2007 11:37:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds there has never been anyone i've ever been with, in my entire life, except for a couple of weirdo's that i met from this site(and it was the first meeting, mind you), that has tried and/or suggested exercising control in a public setting; why? because one who is truly in control doesn't need that kind of re-affirmation 100% of the time... and some of the examples given in this thread, such as ordering their food for them, is not exercising control, it's doing the gentlemanly thing by my standards. Yep, we're weirdos (doms and subs) for consensually wanting control to be a part of our lives in and out of the bedroom. sighs Care to think that it's not "demanding affirmation" but more of an extension of their respect, love, affection and attention for one another shared in ALL environments?

AquaticSub -> RE: In the real world (8/6/2007 2:15:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: He has me walk on the inside when we're on a sidewalk. So few know this...VERY old standard. I love it when men do that.

AquaticSub -> RE: In the real world (8/6/2007 2:19:13 PM)
~Fast Reply~ We look a lot like any other couple, as do most other lifestyle couples I know. I may call him Sir occasionally, but generally I just call him by his name. He tells me if I can't have something and I may have to ask if I do x,y, or z. It's all rather ordinary and boring to those who aren't us and therefore don't care.

Joesy2 -> RE: In the real world (8/6/2007 3:55:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: motoki The M/s dynamic is always there when Master and i are "out and about" (actually, it's always there no matter where we are). The degree to which it is expressed externally varies, but it's always there. In various situations, the dynamic may be more apparent to the surrounding public, but kinky/sexual aspects of it are never flagrantly pushed into the public's personal space (which we consider nonconsensual involvement of others). At times i'm bound (under my clothes), or given orders to follow Him in a certain way (shadowing), or He'll order food for me at restaurants (almost always). When going through doorways or similar entryways, i'm not permitted to open the door or lead through the doorway unless He instructs me to do so. i am never permitted to go to the toilet without permission, nor to sit when in His presence without permission, and so when we are in public, seeking His permission for these things can be .... interesting at times [:)], but it's always possible in some way. In public, i address Him as Sir or Master depending on the circumstances, and He addresses me using any number of terms, including slave, girl, and so on, again, depending on the circumstances. There have been occasions when, while at a bigger store, He's told me to "stay" in a certain spot, then gone off on His own for awhile. Other times, He's assigned me one section where i'm allowed to browse, but only in that section, then He goes off and does His thing. At all times, whether He's been watching me from afar or not, i am acutely aware that i am His, i am slave, and regardless of the fact that others in that store don't know that i'm not physically leashed to Him at that moment, there is a long, solid, invisible chain going from Him to me that is securing me to Him very securely. And that chain feels very real to me; i sometimes think to myself jokingly that its surprising that others don't notice the chain and trip over it when Master and i are out shopping and separated by a short (or longer) distance (!!), that's how real it feels to me - LOL. Without doubt, i enjoy the public aspects of the expression of our M/s dynamic. It adds creativity to it, and it's affirming to me (and, i believe, also to Master). It also adds a certain "richness" or "extra element" to whatever it is we are doing in a public venue. For example, we recently went to see a theatrical reenactment of "Crime and Punishment" by Dostoyevsky, and Master had me bound in a rope harness with a new "toy" inserted in one of my openings. Without going into details, suffice it to say that my attention was distracted from the actors during the play (and while walking to the play, and in the lobby amongst the crowd of people, etc, etc) more than a few times as Master kept nudging the rope harness through my skirt, thereby indirectly nudging His new toy as it did its deed within me. LOL - i do remember that it was a good play, though, and did enjoy it ... and wearing Master's toy and feeling Him constantly reminding me of its presence throughout the evening only added to the whole experience of watching the play, rather than taking away from it!!). [:D] Mmmmmm ... that was a delicious memory .... -motoki- wow that sounds great!

Joesy2 -> RE: In the real world (8/6/2007 3:57:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrJOHN I had a boy for 3 yrs and when we were out in public I am sure people tried to figure out what was up. I should note the boy is a wheelchair user due to spina bifida, he would open doors for me, get Me refills of drinks, and once we met up with my brother and sister in law ( I knew they are both kink friendly, but boy didn't know just yet) I had boy collared. My sister in law did a double take in the car then smiled. A rather fun outing happen at a steak house. boy had been ordered not to speak to anyone, our server was this young twink in his 20's, it didn't take long for him to catch on, so thru out dinner, the server stop even trying to ask boy, and would ask me " would he like more tea". This kid was so curious he kept inventing reasons to come back to our table, boy said to me ( he was allowed to speak only to Me when no one was near) " You know Sir, You are missing with that kid's head" I just answered back with an evil grin" I know". The real fun came when it was time for the check, our server first started to hand the check to Me, but must have thought, why should Master have to pay, then started to hand it to boy, but stopped, probally because boy hadn't been allowed to do anything all night, then started back towards Me, then finally put the check down exactly between us. Our server watched us leave and I saw a bit of a smile as he looked at Me, I'm sure he enjoyed replaying the night in his bedroom later that night. As for punishment, if I needed to be discreet, I had developed a look that as my boy put it, put the fear of god into him, it was my, we will discuss this later look, he knew he was in for it and I wouldn't even have to say a word. That to sounds awseome. I to would like to have that sort of connection possbily one day.

Joesy2 -> RE: In the real world (8/6/2007 3:58:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: earthycouple quote: ORIGINAL: MstrJOHN I had a boy for 3 yrs and when we were out in public I am sure people tried to figure out what was up. I should note the boy is a wheelchair user due to spina bifida, he would open doors for me, get Me refills of drinks, and once we met up with my brother and sister in law ( I knew they are both kink friendly, but boy didn't know just yet) I had boy collared. My sister in law did a double take in the car then smiled. A rather fun outing happen at a steak house. boy had been ordered not to speak to anyone, our server was this young twink in his 20's, it didn't take long for him to catch on, so thru out dinner, the server stop even trying to ask boy, and would ask me " would he like more tea". This kid was so curious he kept inventing reasons to come back to our table, boy said to me ( he was allowed to speak only to Me when no one was near) " You know Sir, You are missing with that kid's head" I just answered back with an evil grin" I know". The real fun came when it was time for the check, our server first started to hand the check to Me, but must have thought, why should Master have to pay, then started to hand it to boy, but stopped, probally because boy hadn't been allowed to do anything all night, then started back towards Me, then finally put the check down exactly between us. Our server watched us leave and I saw a bit of a smile as he looked at Me, I'm sure he enjoyed replaying the night in his bedroom later that night. As for punishment, if I needed to be discreet, I had developed a look that as my boy put it, put the fear of god into him, it was my, we will discuss this later look, he knew he was in for it and I wouldn't even have to say a word. I was on board with reading this story until you declared what wondeful bedroom fodder you made...now I simply think you are an over the top poser searching for attention from strangers. missing what you saw, I recant.

MistressDolly -> RE: In the real world (8/6/2007 8:12:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: womanworshipper Discreet, but always clear who is in charge. "Gentlemanly" behaviour is the key. Opening doors for Her, taking Her coat, seating Her first, waiting for Her to start eating first, looking to Her to order, carrying her bags, waiting patiently for Her in shops, paying the cashier when required... With my former Mistress, who was semi-Pro, i kissed Her hand upon greeting and departing when in public. i don't do this with my current Owner, who is totally lifestyle, though generally i would say She is even more openly dominant with me than my former Mistress. i don't recall my former Mistress ordering me about or publically berating or denigrating me like my current Owner. She has also had more opportunity to do so in front of people i'm closer to such as colleagues, friends and relatives. Practically everyone at work (We/we used to work together) used to talk about how i used to let Her boss me about so clearly it was very noticeable. i've noted before how when We/we are out, She will treat me like a small, difficult child, or a servant. We/we will call each other by Our/our first names, but i always defer to Her. In another relationship this might be abusive but i would stress that it is strictly consensual and We/we both enjoy it. Good male etiquette :)

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