RE: A sub with two Doms (Full Version)

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DommeChains -> RE: A sub with two Doms (5/20/2007 7:38:38 AM)

I've shared a sub with another Mistress.  This Mistress and I run separate households and our relationship is that of friends.  For this particular sub and our life situations at the time it was a good relationship choice.  The other Mistress and I kept each other informed of what was happening and how training was progressing....or not sometimes lol.  I found it refreshing to have another dominant's intimate viewpoint and feedback.



sleazybutterfly -> RE: A sub with two Doms (5/20/2007 7:45:39 AM)

I have my Master and I have a Dom.  The Dom fulfills more of the daddy type of role for me.  I can talk to him more on an emotional level about pretty much anything going on in my head.  I can do this with Master also, but he is more rough around the edges and doesn't allow himself to be on that level with me (or anyone for that matter).  It's not a bad thing by any means, they are just different.

They know each other, and they both know that Masters word comes before anything.  I talk in an open way with both to let them know what is going on with the other one.  We haven't had any issues yet at all, and I don't think that we will.  They are both mature men and we are totally honest about anything that goes on.



Bearlee -> RE: A sub with two Doms (5/20/2007 7:56:27 AM)

 
Has twicehappy been so busy we've forgotten her?  Now there is a beautiful example of a girl who serves two dominant people.
 
I think I could do it and enjoy it, too.  Perhaps twice will pull herself off her bike or outta the garden long enough to tell us about it?  <smiles>
 
b



ELUSIVE1 -> RE: A sub with two Doms (5/20/2007 8:00:09 AM)

I don't see why serving more than one Master is a big deal..been there done that...when the natural inclination is to serve, why would it be a surprise that I serve more than one? my relationship with the first Master is separate from the second, and one does not interfere or have anything to do with the other



ExSteelAgain -> RE: A sub with two Doms (5/20/2007 9:14:12 AM)

Hahaha, I bet it is much more common than many think, not that everyone involved knows.



OsideGirl -> RE: A sub with two Doms (5/20/2007 10:21:03 AM)

I dated two Doms at once. I was collared to neither at the time. It worked fine for me.



bandit25 -> RE: A sub with two Doms (5/20/2007 10:22:21 AM)

Nice :)



eyesopened -> RE: A sub with two Doms (5/20/2007 12:28:20 PM)

if i am not collared and i have a need and desire to serve why should i not serve as the opportunity arises?  i have often thought it would be a wise thing to perhaps have a boyfriend to go out with and do things with in addition to the Dom.   



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: A sub with two Dom's (5/20/2007 6:17:45 PM)

I have a friend that serves multiple Doms. She does it for many different reasons. All her Doms know about the others and everything is worked out accordingly. Some she serves domestically, sexually. etc. Every relationship is different and what works for one doesn't for all. There is not one special formula to go by. It is whatever works for the parties involved.



marinetibby -> RE: A sub with two Dom's (5/20/2007 6:21:24 PM)

i have shared a sub before, it was different, but i don't think i would do it again



LightHeartedMaam -> RE: A sub with two Doms (5/20/2007 8:12:10 PM)

I need to revisit the question here.  Where you posing that the sub is collared by both or just a free-lancing sub?

In the first case, I would feel I was short changing the Dom who owns me unless it is he determining where I would share. If I was UN-owned, then sure.  I see no problem with it.



HisSongstress -> RE: A sub with two Doms (5/21/2007 7:07:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LightHeartedMaam

I need to revisit the question here.  Where you posing that the sub is collared by both or just a free-lancing sub?

In the first case, I would feel I was short changing the Dom who owns me unless it is he determining where I would share. If I was UN-owned, then sure.  I see no problem with it.

I was just curious, as the situation has sorta arisen for me. I am not collared, but I am taken by one. His life circumstances (no, not a wife [:D]) do not allow us to be together as much as he wants and I want.  I share everything with my D. He is the one that presented that I consider pursuing something with this new D that has recently enetered my life..   If the new D is open to me having both of them in my life wonderful. If not, then I need to make a choice.

I was just curious how others deal with this.

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS!!

best!

song



DaddyDeSade -> RE: A sub with two Doms (5/21/2007 10:55:03 AM)

I think the Doms would have to have a very specific arrangement where their interests and activities were completely different. Because jealousy does not exist in areas where you have no interest. Such as I prefer bondage that is simple and utilitarian. If I had a sub who wanted to get into shibari and suspension, I could see me having no problem if she did that with someone else. As long as he didn't step on my toes with what I wanted to do with her. So I would say it is uncommon but possible. It would seem to me though that it would need to be something that was handled carefully with a lot of wide open communication.



MissHarlet -> RE: A sub with two Doms (5/21/2007 2:19:49 PM)

I dont share well .. flunked it all the way back in kindergarden.... so this is not for me .. but if it works for other .. may the Goddess bless them.



Rose4Mistress -> RE: A sub with two Doms (5/21/2007 2:45:27 PM)

I sub to my boyfriend, but he is not yet comfortable enough to be my Master, and truth be told, I would love to be the property of a Mistress.  It definitely can happen, and as long as all three parties are aware of whats going on, there shouldn't be any real problems with it that I can see.



heartfeltsub -> RE: A sub with two Doms (5/21/2007 4:25:14 PM)

Am currently in a position where i have two Doms, one is more of an emotional connection, and the other is more of a service/more intense play connection. It is actually something that i am trying to come up with a way to describe. There is a Dom who lives locally to me, who is strongly connected to me emotionally, but is "newish" in the lifestyle. There is another Dom who is mentoring this first Dom, who i am a housegirl for and who i am sexually active with. i submit to both of them. Does it work, yes it work, is it sometimes difficult to explain, very much so.

heartfelt



DominaSmartass -> RE: A sub with two Doms (5/21/2007 5:17:52 PM)

quote:

  While I can understand her 'why'~  I don't think I would entertain a submissive with which I know I would never be 'enough'.


While I certainly understand your perspective here and have felt it myself sometimes, I've found that when you love someone so much that you want them to be happy even if it means you are not their "everything" then it can work.   Sometimes it's not a personal reflection on you or your abilities, doesn't mean you're less of a dom, but the other person still needs more than you or any one person can give.  To me, it makes much more sense to compromise than to lose the relationship entirely.

I mean, isn't it sort of hypocritical to believe that a dom can have a different sub for every need, desire, and day of the week, while the sub can only have one dom who must satisfy everything?  I'm not saying *you* feel that way, just throwing it out there.

My other first thought on this thread was "where is Twicehappy?"  Maybe if I keep reading she'll show up.



MsParados -> RE: A sub with two Doms (5/21/2007 5:21:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSongstress

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticMusic

Well, i am no biblical student, but your question rang a bell, so i googled it and here's what i found:

Luke 13:16
"No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be devoted to one and despise the other."
 
So, that's the official answer, i guess...
 
<grin>
 
rosemary
 
 


I am not sure that Luke practiced BDSM......

song


Now that made me laugh!


but really though, so long as the 2 doms weren't in conflict it works. I knew a boi with 2 daddies... all lesbians...all together... all happy... all the time.
edited to add: apon futher reflection, those senerios are exactly why I love this life. we are free to be and do who we want.... or well at least in my experience.



mozart9169 -> RE: A sub with two Doms (7/5/2007 9:15:01 AM)

Some very good points have been made here Songstress...lol



Elorin -> RE: A sub with two Doms (7/5/2007 3:35:39 PM)

The first sub I ever had for any length of time was a married woman. She and her husband were new to the lifestyle, and I provided her with a measure of control and play while her husband came to terms with dominance and issues he had with it. Essentially we were both her dom/mes, and she served him to the best of her ability, as well as serving me.

The relationship worked very well, and he grew into his dominance over the course of time. When it got to the point that they were rapidly outstripping the advice and experience I could offer (living together 24/7 gives you more chances to explore and learn than seeing one another a few times a week as I had done), we parted ways.

She did not serve me sexually, and she didn't do housework for me or anything. I didn't try to give orders that would interfere with her marriage, and as her husband began taking up the "reins" so to speak, his rules came first and my control and rules came second. While he was certainly the "primary" dom in that he was her spouse, at the beginning of the relationship I had more experience and at times more control than he did simply because he wasn't able to provide it.

I would certainly be willing to be a "surrogate" dominant in a similar situation in the future.

Also, M and I would like to own a slave together. Since he is my dominant, the primary dominant in the situation would most likely be him. However, we have discussed a situation where I was primary and he was secondary because the submissive met me and submitted to me first, and was submitting to him as part of the relationship with me.

For myself, I could not ever have a two Dom/me relationship unless it was clear from the beginning that IF orders were conflicting, whose orders came first (i.e. who was primary). Otherwise I don't know how it would work - unless you just flip a coin each time to decide whose rules to follow!

~E



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