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LadyHugs -> RE: dazed and confused (5/21/2007 8:43:37 PM)
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Dear byrdygirl, Ladies and Gentlemen;
You teach people how to treat you. At times, one has to make very clear--so clear that a child can understand; what you need as a human being first, a woman second and a slave/submissive third. All three must have the feedings to their emotional, mental, spiritual, physical and sensual self met.
I am concerned that you mentioned that there has been no follow through. Being so important when there is a scene, the after care is very important. It is also important to know the consequences of misdeeds but, those 'laws' or 'rules' are hallow when there is no teeth in it's enforcements. It is important to follow up when you have had a good day, a bad day and all days in between.
I also am concerned that this Dominant has promised to train you however, no real progress has been made or any direction given. One like me must wonder, what is he/she training you for? Has there been any direction given as to where he wishes the relationship with you is to go? What style?
Training a slave in my mind's eyes is a very personal thing. It isn't based on a slave mind reading me, which is impossible. Training a slave is an investment that is patiently doled out as to not overwhelm and confuse the student/slave in training. Training a slave is providing different ways to problem solve a situation and successfully complete the task. It is replacing old habits with new--however; the slave must want to change. Training is not punishing a slave as an after thought, of a sudden enlightenment that a slave shouldn't/should do this or that behavior. Training is knowing ahead of time what is expected and the Master/Dominant/Trainer guiding a slave as to help that slave to achieve those expectations without punishment if at all possible. Training is also not treating you as a juvenile and a dim bulb. Training is to exhault you into womanhood who is unique and precious. Training is to show that as helpless as things may appear--the power is yours to make things much better and facing fears with help and at times the Dominant acting like a cheerleader.
Without communications, there can never be disclosure of information, as to permit you both to negotiate and or leading to understanding of each other--a means of seeing through each other's eyes and mind. Communication also requires listening. As one said, talk is cheap but, a listener will see the value of what is said--and, at times what is not said.
Just some thoughts.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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