What Really is a Fetish? (Full Version)

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pinksugarsub -> What Really is a Fetish? (5/20/2007 10:26:04 AM)

i am still learning about BDSM, and it occured to me i'm wasn't quite clear on what is, and is not, a "fetish".  i have certain "activites" (like face f**king) that i really, really like.  Does that make them into fetishes?
 
Thankies for Y/your input.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What Really is a Fetish? (5/20/2007 10:30:52 AM)

Well diagnostically a "fetish" is some THING that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.  This connection is often made in childhood or young adulthood, almost always occurs in males, rarely in females, and is extremely difficult if no impossible to separate.

Most people in the scene use the term far more casually most of the time to mean "something that really gets me turned on a lot of the time, though not necessarily something I need to have fulfilling sex or sexual contact."




freakgoddess -> RE: What Really is a Fetish? (5/20/2007 10:33:48 AM)

technically a fetish is a sexual fixation on an inanimate object, and sexual gratification cannot be obtained without the use of the fetish object.  but on sites such as this the word is often used loosely to refer to anything sexual that someone really, really likes.



pinksugarsub -> RE: What Really is a Fetish? (5/20/2007 10:41:46 AM)

i really, really some stuff, like fishnet hose, but i dun need it to cum.  There's not much point in all the fun costumes, lingrie and accessories if there's No One to play with.  So i guess i have fetishes only in the loosiest sense.  Ah well, i suppose that's good.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: What Really is a Fetish? (5/20/2007 11:12:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Well diagnostically a "fetish" is some THING that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.  This connection is often made in childhood or young adulthood, almost always occurs in males, rarely in females, and is extremely difficult if no impossible to separate.

Most people in the scene use the term far more casually most of the time to mean "something that really gets me turned on a lot of the time, though not necessarily something I need to have fulfilling sex or sexual contact."




A fetish may or may not be sexual, actually. A fetish is an object that empowers us. Hence, the small animal totem carvings by Native Americans are called fetishes because they represent the totem that empowers.

American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source fet·ish also fet·ich  [image]http://cache.lexico.com/g/d/premium.gif[/image]  [image]http://cache.lexico.com/g/d/speaker.gif[/image]   (fět'ĭsh, fē'tĭsh)  Pronunciation Key 
n.  
  • An object that is believed to have magical or spiritual powers, especially such an object associated with animistic or shamanistic religious practices.
  • An object of unreasonably excessive attention or reverence: made a fetish of punctuality.
  • Something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.
  • An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment; a fixation.

    Master Fire



    • Tuomas -> RE: What Really is a Fetish? (5/20/2007 12:23:16 PM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

    i really, really some stuff, like fishnet hose, but i dun need it to cum.  There's not much point in all the fun costumes, lingrie and accessories if there's No One to play with.  So i guess i have fetishes only in the loosiest sense.  Ah well, i suppose that's good.

    Like most words "fetish" depends on the context. From a psychological point of view, a "fetish" is defined as an object or action (people forget this) that is required to obtain sexual gratification, and it's absence causes undue distress in the patient.

    Otherwise, it's just a kink. I'd generaly rather use the proper words for the proper meanings, but for a lot of people it seems calling everything a "fetish" is a lot easier [:'(]



    hawkwolf7 -> RE: What Really is a Fetish? (5/20/2007 12:44:26 PM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

    ... almost always occurs in males, rarely in females,



    Statements like this don't reflect the reality of the situation. To be more precise, this should say:

    "... is documented more often in males, rarely documented in females"

    It also doesn't reflect the reality of my experience... which is that fetishes are distrubuted about evenly between males and females. On the other hand, due to cultural conditioning, males are more likely to explore and express their fetishes openly. (Thus are more often documented.)

    In terms of the common usage, the word fetish refers to any sexual behavior that falls outside the local cultural norm (i.e., vanilla culture). At one time, missionary sex was the "cultural norm" in the US, which meant that "doggie style" and oral sex were fetishes. Today, fetish includes BDSM, swinging, poly, and your standard foot, shoe, leather, latex, etc. Sometime in the future, it will be sex with machines and fucking ET.

    But, there is a more general definition, that says anything that is not explicitly sexual, yet generates sexual feelings in a person is really just another fetish. These are very common in the vanilla culture, and are generally accepted as "okay". Along those lines here are some examples:

    A few fairly common male fetishes that I have observed include attraction to tits, short(er) women, shapely butts and thighs, eye color, hair color, cooking skills, "bad girls", "nice girls", and docility.

    A few fairly common female fetishes that I have observed include attraction to intellect, physical or emotional strength, hairy chests, tall(er) men, muscular butts and thighs, eye color, hair color, "bad boys", "nice boys", money, cars & motorcycles, shoes, security, and romance.

    All of which is just to say that human beings are infinitely capable of sexualizing anything, which is simultaneously one of our strengths and one of our flaws. Whether or not it gets labeled as a "fetish" depends on what definition you choose, and the dominant cultural paradigm.

    Hope that helps...
    HawkWolf

    By the way, SUBVERT THE DOMINANT PARADIGM!
    (sorry, I just couldn't help myself [;)]




    earthycouple -> RE: What Really is a Fetish? (5/20/2007 2:34:14 PM)

    fast reply

    NOUN:

    1. An object that is believed to have magical or spiritual powers, especially such an object associated with animistic or shamanistic religious practices.
    2. An object of unreasonably excessive attention or reverence: made a fetish of punctuality.
    3. Something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.
    4. An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment; a fixation.






    ETYMOLOGY:
    French fétiche, from Portuguese feitiço, artificial, charm, from Latin fact[image]http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/edu/ref/ahd/s/imacr.gif[/image]cius, artificial ; see factitious

    Source:  http://education.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/entry/fetish



    editied because:  oops after posting I see MasterFireMaam beat me to the dictionary....



    valkyrielover1 -> RE: What Really is a Fetish? (5/20/2007 3:15:35 PM)

    How about the other fairly common male fetish for muscular women who can lift, carry or crush them? [:D]. I love a woman who is strong enough to effect a gender-role reversal... i.e., who can make me her woman.

    http://img43.imagevenue.com/view.php?image=31424_IMG_2599_123_815lo.JPG



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