RE: Femmedommes, how do your new subs deal with your specific requirements?

RE: Femmedommes, how do your new subs deal with your specific requirements? (Full Version)

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earthycouple -> RE: Femmedommes, how do your new subs deal with your specific requirements? (5/20/2007 7:45:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kitte9 quote: ANYONE worth having is worth working for....bdsm or otherwise. I just had to say how much I liked hearing that. Thank you. Why thank you!

LadyPact -> RE: Femmedommes, how do your new subs deal with your specific requirements? (5/20/2007 7:55:02 PM)
Couldn't agree with it more.

MzMia -> RE: Femmedommes, how do your new subs deal with your specific requirements? (5/20/2007 9:18:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: addicted2it quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDoMe That is why I go into relationships very slowly. And that's a very good practice. I think that the wisdom to take things slow with regard to relationships is not always acquired until one has the life experience and the wisdom to adopt this very important principle. Anyone that can't take it slow with me, has the other option. To hit the road. Be wary, of those in a rush and a hurry.

Unrepentant1 -> RE: Femmedommes, how do your new subs deal with your specific requirements? (5/21/2007 1:39:41 PM)
I find it somewhat confusing when I read that subs will only do what they want to, how can they call themselves a sub? To me submission is a gift and selfless act to someone you worship, love and adore. I would be amazed if anyone was a perfect match, but I guess it can happen. As long as something is not a hard limit, that the Domme clearly wants, the rest can be worked upon. I believe when you find the right one, your limits change anyway.

addicted2it -> RE: Femmedommes, how do your new subs deal with your specific requirements? (5/21/2007 2:38:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Unrepentant1 I find it somewhat confusing when I read that subs will only do what they want to, how can they call themselves a sub? To me submission is a gift and selfless act to someone you worship, love and adore. I would be amazed if anyone was a perfect match, but I guess it can happen. As long as something is not a hard limit, that the Domme clearly wants, the rest can be worked upon. I believe when you find the right one, your limits change anyway. Some years ago, I was watching one of those tabloid TV shows...it might have been the Maury Povich show...but anyway, they had a dom/sub couple on and they were explaining to the audience the difference between a submissive and a slave. Well, the explanation was that a submissive could say "no" or had the right to negotiate, but the slave did not. This seems like the consensus of opinion in my local community as well. I've seen the subject bounced around like a tennis ball on this site as well as other sites. I don't know of anyone who has the authority to set standard definitions for this community, but I am sure that everyone has their own opinion. Maybe we should check with Whackypedia? Oh, and as far as submission being a gift, you will most certainly be flamed at some point for that statement. Not by me, because I used to believe that to be true as well. But I have changed my mind, and now I feel that the Dom/Domme/sub/slave relationship is more akin to an equal exchange of power (that is, each member gives and receives pretty much equally, if that makes any sense).

bts4lfe -> RE: Femmedommes, how do your new subs deal with your specific requirements? (6/2/2007 1:49:38 PM)
yes you are right addicted2 it is a equal amount of exchange that is why i am a slave and not a subbie.... i cant tell my mistress NO.. i may have opinions and want someone i can share them with but.. if she wants me to do something i do it no questions no back talk no nothing...the only think i do ask is (and its only asking) is to serve her and be there for her. if she has a bad day at work she can come home and take out her fustrations on me, then ill will give her a massage if she has a good day at work same goes she can come home and tell me about it,dont get me wrong im not a sissy or a doormat but her other half where she ends and i begin there is no defining line thank you for letting me rant tommy the only difference between ordeal and adventure IS ATTITUDE...................................

bts4lfe -> RE: Femmedommes, how do your new subs deal with your specific requirements? (6/2/2007 1:52:59 PM)
and from a slaves point of view YES anything worth having is worth working for that is why sometimes you may not want or like to do something but you do it to make someone else happy......

thetammyjo -> RE: Femmedommes, how do your new subs deal with your specific requirements? (6/2/2007 2:37:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: addicted2it quote: ORIGINAL: Unrepentant1 I find it somewhat confusing when I read that subs will only do what they want to, how can they call themselves a sub? To me submission is a gift and selfless act to someone you worship, love and adore. I would be amazed if anyone was a perfect match, but I guess it can happen. As long as something is not a hard limit, that the Domme clearly wants, the rest can be worked upon. I believe when you find the right one, your limits change anyway. Some years ago, I was watching one of those tabloid TV shows...it might have been the Maury Povich show...but anyway, they had a dom/sub couple on and they were explaining to the audience the difference between a submissive and a slave. Well, the explanation was that a submissive could say "no" or had the right to negotiate, but the slave did not. This seems like the consensus of opinion in my local community as well. I've seen the subject bounced around like a tennis ball on this site as well as other sites. I don't know of anyone who has the authority to set standard definitions for this community, but I am sure that everyone has their own opinion. Maybe we should check with Whackypedia? I think it's also a matter of time. I do not believe that someone can be submissive 100% of the time, every day, day in and day out in all situations. So automatically when someone says I'm a submissive I see that as really a limited thing. Slave on the other hand don't have to be submissive, they have to serve and they have to obey. That can require not being submissive at any time or under different circumstances. In fact most slaves I've known can be pretty far from submissive in their interactions even with their owners if the circumstances are right. But I see submissive as more a personality trait and way of bending to another's active will. I see consensual slavery as something more complex and more long-term, an underlining relationship dynamic than an individual trait.

addicted2it -> RE: Femmedommes, how do your new subs deal with your specific requirements? (6/2/2007 3:24:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bts4lfe yes you are right addicted2 it is a equal amount of exchange that is why i am a slave and not a subbie.... i cant tell my mistress NO.. i may have opinions and want someone i can share them with but.. if she wants me to do something i do it no questions no back talk no nothing...the only think i do ask is (and its only asking) is to serve her and be there for her. if she has a bad day at work she can come home and take out her fustrations on me, then ill will give her a massage if she has a good day at work same goes she can come home and tell me about it,dont get me wrong im not a sissy or a doormat but her other half where she ends and i begin there is no defining line thank you for letting me rant tommy the only difference between ordeal and adventure IS ATTITUDE................................... Well, bts4life,that is what we sign on for when we make that very importart decision to commit to another. This unconditional love and devotion can only be given by someone who is hardwired for it. On the other hand, if we were vanillas, we would probably express that same love and devotion within our respective relationships, only without the D/s dynamic. quote: and from a slaves point of view YES anything worth having is worth working for that is why sometimes you may not want or like to do something but you do it to make someone else happy...... Again, service to another doesn't always come easy for anyone, even to a slave. And like anything else that we strive to perfect, it takes time, practice, and an unselfish willingness to serve that special person in our lives. Even if there is the right fit, there are still those things that we need learn from and about each other. It is a learning experince that can only blossom into something beautiful if both or all parties strive to make it happen. -Philip

addicted2it -> RE: Femmedommes, how do your new subs deal with your specific requirements? (6/2/2007 3:43:11 PM)
quote: TheTammyJo I think it's also a matter of time. I do not believe that someone can be submissive 100% of the time, every day, day in and day out in all situations. So automatically when someone says I'm a submissive I see that as really a limited thing. Slave on the other hand don't have to be submissive, they have to serve and they have to obey. That can require not being submissive at any time or under different circumstances. In fact most slaves I've known can be pretty far from submissive in their interactions even with their owners if the circumstances are right. But I see submissive as more a personality trait and way of bending to another's active will. I see consensual slavery as something more complex and more long-term, an underlining relationship dynamic than an individual trait. I completely agree, TammyJo. Personally, I consider the condition of slavery to be a much more intense relationship than the submissive. If a submissive has the right to say "no," then the relationship is only based upon bartering, rather than the relinquishing of power to another. Another theory is that people of that mindset start out as submissives, but that some actually transcend into the slave role after realizing that they have a need to be totally emerced into their roles. -Philip

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