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LadyAngelika -> RE: one thing about guys you ladies do not understand (5/15/2005 10:10:55 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: astralboy
quote:
ORIGINAL: ElektraUkM
Well it could be that that was what he was saying... but if it needs interpretation then i don't think the post is particularly clear. Which is a bit annoying because i'm sure that deep inside it somewhere is something i want to argue with or debate!
~ Elektra
I agree... there is something to argue with or debate....
Oh there definitely is. And I do believe, after further reflection, that there is substance to start with already.
quote:
ORIGINAL: astralboy
It seems that communication between "guys" and "ladies" is not always at its best. There are many things we don't know about each other and the expectations may be too high.
puppy pet
Let me rephrase that if I may.
It seems that communication between people is not always at its best. There are many things we don't know about each other and the expectations may be too high.
Ok... I'm not sure about the expectations being to high. I would agree however that they may not be focussed on the right issues (such as in the original post - to which I will be getting to in a moment) and therefore unrealistic.
Ok, so I’m coming back to this post after some reflection. I’d like to address a few things iwill has said.
quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
Women (be they Dominas or subbies) do not understand men.
I disagree. I think that every woman is different and every man is different and their capacities to understand one another varies as well as their degree of understanding a particular individual. Broad sweeping statements like “women do not understand men” are preposterous and completely without base.
Do I understand all men? I think I have a good insight on their driving forces. I understand that a great deal of men are more visual then a great deal of women. That does not mean that all men are more visual then all women. It is a tendency.
Do I understand iwill? Barely. But my understanding iwill is only as important as the importance that I put on communicating with him in this discussion forum. And I am not saying this in a negative light. That is the reality and the limit of my interaction with him.
Do I understand my boy? Oh yes! I understand him very well. Time spent with him has led me to gain insights into his motivations, his desires, his needs, his dreams, his hopes, his fears. He actually says that I understand him and that thrills him.
Does he understand me? Oh yes! He understands me very well, much in the same way that I understand him. He is not the first one to understand me neither.
I would say that some have a stronger ability to understand others (not just the opposite sex) while others unfortunately cannot gain this insight. I have been told by many men that I get them more then other women have. I’ve also been told by one or two men that I don’t get them at all. Why? I know I am quite empathetic. But I can’t however tune into everyone. But this has been my experience.
Ok, so on to the rest of the post….
quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
We were discussing submitting. Do I submit to her or is it just sex. I asked my Mistress if she ordered me to go left and I went left if it mattered why I went left. She said it did because eventually if I was not submitting to her but to my penis, eventually I would not want to go left.
One, don’t let me cum often and whether it is to her or my penis becomes moot, but let’s not talk about that.
Regardless of why you submit, it is an active choice. You are not on automatic pilot. Also, you want to submit because you get something out of it. If you weren’t getting anything out of submitting, you wouldn’t do it. Plain and simple. You would just not do it at all because there would be no motivation to do it. So is it as black & white as saying “is it sex or is it submission?” No. I think trying to tease those two elements apart is trying to oversimplify things. We are complex beings and our motivations usually come from myriad places and will take more importance at any given time as our mood and overall mindset ebbs and flows.
quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
Two, here is where we get generally about guys, if it is a game and a guy is good at it, he generally does not quit. If I define myself as a submissive I’m not going to suddenly say, “This is stupid. I quit.”
And women quit? I don’t think this is what you are trying to say iwill. But seriously, how are women different from men in this respect? I’m good at what I do and I don’t quit. Mind you, I’ve known many men and women who were good at something and quit because they had a fear of success.
I believe that motivation and ambition are one of the areas where genders are more similar then different. The difference is more on an individual level.
quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
The whole “Is it just a game to you?’ means something different to guys. If they are “into” the “game” they might be extremely serious about it.
I’ve addressed this already so I won’t go there again. I have to honestly say, I think it is in the sports metaphor that you lose many iwill.
And even in your metaphor, you have shown us that there is often more then one motivating factor, which goes to support my second point. Can you see this?
- LA
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