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What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/15/2005 1:47:29 PM   
ginger21


Posts: 173
Joined: 4/28/2005
From: Austin, Texas
Status: offline 		I've been cruising through CM, looking at profiles and I find a consistency through many of them, whether they be the profiles of Dom/me's, slaves, subs, or what have you. Many people say that "it's all about the journey." The journey to becoming the perfect slave/sub in your Master's eyes. Many of us are looking to mold or be molded into what our Dom/me wants us to be. So I had a question- what happens when you're there?

You are everything your top wants you to be...so does that mean y'all then turn poly? Try to push past your hard limits? Do you ask for release and start training with a new Master that may challenge you more?

Or is actually becoming the "perfect" sub/slave for your Master, in reality, an unreachable goal?

Talk peoples, talk! ^_^

< Message edited by ginger21 -- 5/15/2005 1:56:48 PM >

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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/15/2005 2:24:33 PM   
MistressFire70


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		My personal philosophy/beliefs: The IS no destination, only the journey. Therefore, you don't ever reach your destination, even through death; you merely reach stations along the line. Most of us move from station to station and never sit to look at where we've been or where we're headed. Finding the "perfect" anything is a goal for many, but what if there isn't a perfect thing or, if there is, what will you do with it when you find it? We continue, and continue again, until we learn that which was are to learn. At that point, we teach and aide.

Perhaps not quite the answer to your question?

Fire


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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/15/2005 3:10:10 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Many people say that "it's all about the journey." The journey to becoming the perfect slave/sub in your Master's eyes. Many of us are looking to mold or be molded into what our Dom/me wants us to be. So I had a question- what happens when you're there?


It is all about the journey and what a wondrous journey it is!!! As for arriving at the destination, well hopefully that will never happen. I learn and grow every single day and hope to never stop. Perfection is a great goal.....but I don't think it's an attainable one. Keep on striving though...and enjoy the trip.

(Oh and ginger....not to be picky....but the font is nearly impossible for us old folks to read)

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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/15/2005 3:48:01 PM   
darkinshadows


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From: UK
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Again, I have to echo the journey principle.

It is a journey - you get off where you decide(or Your Masters)... but ultimately its the journey you are taking. Like any journey, you can take different paths, different transport to move forward... sometimes you might even re-trace your steps if there was something you particulatly enjoyed the 'sight' of... or something that you couldnt quite grasp the first time. But always onwards - not looking back - retrace, but no regrets... and you continue on the journey until you become tired, or sick of it. Some people won't, they pass away happily on the open road - but then, thats just another journey somewhere else......

Peace and Love

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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/15/2005 3:53:11 PM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I'll readily admit that the saying I use as a signature is the Harley Davidson motto thing, but it's kind of the same thing. The destination doesn't matter, it's the journey that does.

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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/15/2005 4:00:25 PM   
astralboy


Posts: 17
Joined: 9/27/2004
Status: offline 		The journey doesn't end because we reach the destination... people and goals change all together, relationships have their dynamics and most of all... we start to forget... Pretending to be clever, I would say that we are what we remember about us that we are.

Well... unfortunately, in most cases the journey ends because people change themselves and they move in different directions.

So... what happens if you still keep goals and journey ends as you desire? I guess that is called happiness .

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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/15/2005 4:03:52 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline 		Well, the journey for me is all about reaching my full potential as a person. I don't believe any of us ever reach that, and thus it's the journey that counts.

Submission is just one tool I am using, I guess. My writing, my photography, my career, my friendships and family, sex...all other tools I use to better myself.

I guess I just believe that life would be boring if I ever thought I'd gone as far as I could as a human being.

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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/15/2005 4:52:28 PM   
Padriag


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Joined: 3/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ginger21

You are everything your top wants you to be...so does that mean y'all then turn poly? Try to push past your hard limits? Do you ask for release and start training with a new Master that may challenge you more?


I have seen some who make exactly these choices for probably these very reasons, they got caught up in seeking new challenges, constantly pushing and experiencing new things and never learned to enjoy what they have. Eventually, they run out of road and go looking for something new. It happens in vanilla relationships as well and is the underlying cause of some divorces.

It might be useful to remember that looking at these relationships, this lifestyle, as a journey is just a metaphor and not make more of it than that. You could also call it a sharing, an evolution... there are many metaphors, some perhaps better than others. Regardless of what metaphor we individually choose to use or relate to the best, what remains true is that if we do not learn to appreciate what we have, to enjoy what we have, if we allow ourselves to be caught up in a constant struggle for something new, then we will never be satisfied and we doom every relationship we will have to failure. One can not live life dwelling on all the things one might have done, things one might have missed... the happy life is the life lived with a firm appreciation of what we have, even as we strive to reach new goals. That is, we do need to strive for better things (not necessarily new things), and when kept in balance with what we have and who we are, its a healthy life. When we learn to appreciate and value that, it becomes a happy life.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/15/2005 4:59:07 PM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		It's easy to wrap up the concept of life into a 'Journey' as there are so many parallel aspects. Personally, I don't like the idea, because using such metaphors leaves too many possibilities unexplored.

Instead of seeing the lifestyle as a 'journey' perhaps it could be better seen for what it is - a way of life, whether it happens to be an occasional experience, or if it has a much more profound impact. Life isn't about getting there (into the ground) it's about what you do with your time before you get there.

Stephan

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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/15/2005 6:49:08 PM   
liltxsubby


Posts: 328
Joined: 11/18/2004
From: TX
Status: offline 		I had this same question the other night. The journey never ends. There will alwas be something new to try, something new to learn. Oh, and evidently Doms have the option of changing the rules if things do get too boring.

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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/15/2005 8:43:00 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		The whole journey philosphy seems a bit lame to me. Maybe it's because my cousin, who always insisted on wearing sunglasses inside the house, used to prattle on about how she was learning through her journey, while burning incense that made me slightly nauseous.

While I think being the 'perfect submissive' is a decent goal, I would rather focus on enjoying *each other* perfectly. It's less pressure on the submissive, but still pushes her to improve. Meanwhile, the Dominant is perfecting his technique as well.

And I do think that being the "perfect submissive" is pretty much impossible. To be without flaw, without those indecent little quirks would be un-human.



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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/16/2005 12:07:48 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ginger21
You are everything your top wants you to be...so does that mean y'all then turn poly? Try to push past your hard limits? Do you ask for release and start training with a new Master that may challenge you more?
Or is actually becoming the "perfect" sub/slave for your Master, in reality, an unreachable goal?

Oh my, I hope that reaching a destination is Not being equated to meeting a compatible partner...
I'll nod in agreement with everyone that life is indeed a journey, and hope you don't mean that this life is all about kink/play, so that once you've found someone with whom you are comfortable playing, you need to up the odds for novelty or discomfort's sake... I was hoping this (wiitwd) is more about human connections, and building strong healthy relationships (which in my view take a lifetime to build or it disintegrates), albeit a connection between kinksters.

I think becoming "perfect" is an unreachable goal, but becoming great for your Master is very much reachable. As for pushing past hard limits, I would think becomes a test of the level of communication, each other's comfort, and trust you share; because without a healthy amount of all those ingredients, the relationship would burst into flames (when trust/limits are disrespected), and indeed you'd have to look for a more compatible partner in terms of compatible relationship goals.... M

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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/16/2005 2:40:00 AM   
GentleLady


Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		I do not think it is possible to ever be a perfect human being...part of what makes us human is our ability to make mistakes. Perfection can be a goal and it can be a helpful goal so long as it is not taken to extremes. To strive to be better then you are or striving to be a better person are good goals. If I am not growing then I am either standing still or going backwards. Neither option is healthy for me. I need to be trying to be the best person I can be no matter how far short of that goal I may fall.

This needs to be balanced by taking the time to enjoy what I have now and who I am now. If I concentrate too much on self-improvement then I miss the beauty of what is going on today inside me. If I spend all my energy on seeing my faults then I forget where my strengths are.

So for me it is a journey of self-discovery. I am changing and I hope that never ends. My submissive will never be perfectly trained but we will be able to grow together in relative harmony.

Gentle Lady

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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/16/2005 9:20:04 PM   
SirSTRYKER


Posts: 284
Joined: 8/15/2004
Status: offline 		wow a very interesting question and some damn good answers as well, how refreshing. I can't answer this though since I've not neared the end of the journey yet. I think as long as W/we continue to grow, as long as W/we continue to try, as long as W/we continue to be willing to listen, as well as speak, if W/we can maintain this balance, I think whatever happens at the end of the journey, it will have been one Hell of a good ride!

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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/17/2005 1:12:41 AM   
Chilli


Posts: 42
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		I hope you will tell us all when you reach the destination.

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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/17/2005 1:14:19 AM   
Chilli


Posts: 42
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		gerk. That didnt come out right at all. Sorry Sir S.

No harm intended.

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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/17/2005 3:39:27 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		If you think about it, we're all headed for the same destination - we're all gonna die someday....

The thing that makes us different is the path we follow in eventually arriving there and who we travel with. Therefore, BDSM or life itself is solely about the journey....

Focus50.

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RE: What happens when you reach the destination? - 5/17/2005 8:15:18 AM   
SirSTRYKER


Posts: 284
Joined: 8/15/2004
Status: offline 		Chilli, no harm no foul. I hope I'm ABLE to tell you when I reach it...smiles

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