Dealbreakers...

Dealbreakers... (Full Version)

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Calandra -> Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 7:45:24 AM)
We sometimes cannot put a finger on what attracts or repells us to someone... Is there anything specific that will make you pass on serving a prospective Dominant? A personality trait, annoying habit, etc? I'm not speaking about things that are universal like dishonesty or abusiveness. I'm asking about those little things that just make you go "um..... No" LOL

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 7:47:35 AM)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_526440/mpage_1/key_breaker/tm.htm#526448 Deal Breakers http://www.collarchat.com/m_154756/mpage_1/key_deal%252Cbreakers/tm.htm#154756 deal breakers (2) http://www.collarchat.com/m_950788/mpage_1/key_deal%252Cbreaker/tm.htm#950805 Deal Breakers (3) Reposted: My deal breakers are generally the same for all relationships, but with a few specific differences. Deal breakers tend to be the same as hard limits (in fact I'd consider using them as synonyms) though "deal breakers" can be more personality conflicts or personal issues that have nothing to do with any action or reaction on the d-side of the slash. For example "he never brushes his teeth, that's a deal breaker" doesn't mean that you have some limit on teeth brushing, simply that as a compatibility issue for forming a relationship with someone, it's not what you consider a good thing. But the two are so synonymous I don't think it would be wrong to use them the same way for the most part.

adoracat -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 7:58:41 AM)
anyone who thinks as a submissive i dont deserve respect. anyone who looks too much like my biological father. distance from me (because it ends up being something that prevents time together) and sometimes there's that little voice in the back of the head that goes.."um, no" kitten, whose Sir coaxed her into listening to that voice...

apettiger -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 8:02:40 AM)
if They are unkind to animals, children or Their mothers'. i have found that Men who love animals, children and Their mothers tend to be more open and kind and Those who do not tend to be cruel, uncaring and callus.

Calandra -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 8:08:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: apettiger if They are unkind to animals, children or Their mothers'. i have found that Men who love animals, children and Their mothers tend to be more open and kind and Those who do not tend to be cruel, uncaring and callus. I have observed the same thing... I also watch how a person treats waitresses and those in the customer service industry...

Trampler -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 8:13:33 AM)
arrogance. in a dom or a sub. closemindedness. touchyfeelie to soon. Like wanting to hold hands 5 minutes after meeting for the 1st time.

enslavedproperty -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 8:13:41 AM)
not being truthful honesty is paramount to any relationship

livenlearn -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 8:27:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Calandra We sometimes cannot put a finger on what attracts or repells us to someone... Is there anything specific that will make you pass on serving a prospective Dominant? A personality trait, annoying habit, etc? I'm not speaking about things that are universal like dishonesty or abusiveness. I'm asking about those little things that just make you go "um..... No" LOL Well, since my boyfriend and I did not start out with a BDSM, D/s, M/s relationship, I guess I can only answer from a general pov. Common interests are what drew me to him and common interests are what keeps me with him.

OsideGirl -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 8:40:15 AM)
Smoking I always focused more on the core values to see if we matched. ie: politics, religion, child rearing, moral code, goals in life, family, etc. I can't tell you how many of my friends got married only to find out that the person they were married to wanted to live their life very differently than hers.

Calandra -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 8:50:27 AM)
Yeah, smoking is hard for Me too... or chewing tobacco or snuff... ewwww.

akisha -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 9:13:57 AM)
To be honest other then the standard "honesty blah blah blah" I go my the vibe I get when I meet the person face to face and sometimes even when I'm just talking to them before we meet. I trust my instincts and yes there is a chance I'll walk away from a prtentially good Dom, but if it feels wierd and not right, then I go with that feeling. I ignored it once and once was enough to learn the lesson.

eyesopened -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 9:18:08 AM)
Not having common goals. i believe when two (or more) people have common goals then they work together, opposing goals just never works. That is the same for relationship goals, life goals, or goals for saving money or losing weight or any other goal. If people are at cross-purposes with each other how could it possibly work?

ProlificNeeds -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 9:42:49 AM)
The best index to a person's character is (a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can't fight back. ~Abigail Van Buren~ I admit I stole this quote off 'earthycouple's signature, I apologize, but it seems to suit my thought on this thread. To me that sense of character and integrity is what makes or breaks it. I can be very flexible about a great many things, including behavior towards myself, but I don't want to be ashamed to be in public with someone. I suppose this applies to all people not just Dom's. If I'm not impressed, then I'm not interested.

aidan -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 10:27:00 AM)
Apathy. A sense of over-aggressiveness. Everything needs to be an argument or fight or the other person is always wrong. Like others have said, how a person treats children or animals can throw up lots of warning flags or good signals. Somebody who's intolerant of my hobbies. I'm a big ol' nerd and not about to change that for anybody. Over-sensitivity, at least as I percieve it. I have a very warped, silly, and at times dark sense of humor, and again, it's not about to change.

earthycouple -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 10:37:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds The best index to a person's character is (a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can't fight back. ~Abigail Van Buren~ I admit I stole this quote off 'earthycouple's signature, I apologize, but it seems to suit my thought on this thread. To me that sense of character and integrity is what makes or breaks it. I can be very flexible about a great many things, including behavior towards myself, but I don't want to be ashamed to be in public with someone. I suppose this applies to all people not just Dom's. If I'm not impressed, then I'm not interested. Thanks!

slaverosebeauty -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 10:57:00 AM)
If they don't like children or animals then we DEFIANTLY will not get along. If they don't have ANY female friends or are not friends with any past partners. That says a LOT about a person if they can't be friends with a past partner or if they don't have friends of the opposite sex. Also, if they don't take the time to talk and get to know me on a multitude of levels. Yuck to tobacco products, drugs and excessive drinking, if they NEED a drink or think something is wrong with me for NOT ever drinking, then they can exit stage left. Some of us don't drink. Simple.

ProlificNeeds -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 11:03:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: earthycouple quote: ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds The best index to a person's character is (a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can't fight back. ~Abigail Van Buren~ I admit I stole this quote off 'earthycouple's signature, I apologize, but it seems to suit my thought on this thread. To me that sense of character and integrity is what makes or breaks it. I can be very flexible about a great many things, including behavior towards myself, but I don't want to be ashamed to be in public with someone. I suppose this applies to all people not just Dom's. If I'm not impressed, then I'm not interested. Thanks! ducks Sorry! returns the borrowed quote

CrazyC -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 11:10:18 AM)
Ignorant fools who say stuff and can't handle being corrected, because they believe their way is the only way.

aidan -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 11:37:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrazyC Ignorant fools who say stuff and can't handle being corrected, because they believe their way is the only way. I'm stealing this one for my list too.

onegoodgirl -> RE: Dealbreakers... (5/22/2007 11:56:26 AM)
I cannot handle someone who lives dirty.. A messy house is ok.. heck - I've got a four year old, it's always messy - but someone who never cleans their bathrooms or kitchens.. absolute dealbreaker. I'm not adverse to keeping house (keeping a clean house, clean).. but if they have been total slobs for ages.. I just cannot handle it. Obviously it's also important to see how they treat children.

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