a question about being collared (Full Version)

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imthatacheyouhav -> a question about being collared (5/22/2007 9:34:01 AM)

Is there a difference between being owned...and being collared? I am owned at preasent by my Master, however i am not collared. Does that mean that i am a lesser degree His? or in some way not fully His?.....because thats not how i feel. I feel i couldn't be any more His if i tried. A collar wouldn't(to me) increase that. Am i way off the mark about this?



jauntyone -> RE: a question about being collared (5/22/2007 9:36:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav

Is there a difference between being owned...and being collared? I am owned at preasent by my Master, however i am not collared. Does that mean that i am a lesser degree His? or in some way not fully His?.....because thats not how i feel. I feel i couldn't be any more His if i tried. A collar wouldn't(to me) increase that. Am i way off the mark about this?

Greetings
 
different people will have different outlooks on such things. It only matters to you and your owner how you  choose to see it.
 
I am owned and married by and to the same man; however, I am not yet collared ( this will not happen for almost 2 more  years yet ).
 
I was owned by Master before I was married to him [:)] 
 
For us, they do have different meanings; for others, they do not. Only you can decide.
 
I wish you well
 
melissa



stef -> RE: a question about being collared (5/22/2007 9:41:01 AM)

Ask 20 people and you're likely to get 20 different answers.  There is no collar/ownership hierarchy and you're worrying over nothing.  You're his, and that should be all that matters.

~stef



MistressKay -> RE: a question about being collared (5/22/2007 9:42:09 AM)

What value we place on a collar defines what it is to each of us - since you don't place value on a collar and are already fully committed to your Master then adding a collar will not make it any more real to you.

for some a collar represents the same as a wedding ring - it is a symbol of a bond for life - but the reality is few bsdm relationships last more than 2 to 3 years at best (cyber D/s bonds don't usually last more than a month or two). Usually the relationships that do last longer don't place as much value in materialistic symbols for what they share goes beyond physical displays.

A collar will not make a relationship "more" anything unless both parties see the collar as adding value.

On a personal note congratulations on finding that special relationship - don't let anyone make you believe it is anything less because you don't share their values. The only values that matter are the ones your Master and you have decided are right for your relationship.

Lady Kay



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: a question about being collared (5/22/2007 9:45:13 AM)

Reposted:
Generally, ownership is considered a state of being within a relationship.

Collared generally tends to be a statement of going through a specific act of having a collar placed upon you.

But, many people consider themselves collared without the element of ownership, and many people consider themselves owned without ever putting on a collar.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1004904/mpage_1/key_owned%252Ccollared/tm.htm#1004914
Owned vs collared

http://www.collarchat.com/m_972728/mpage_1/key_collared/tm.htm#973007
collared vs owned



Mercnbeth -> RE: a question about being collared (5/22/2007 9:53:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav

Is there a difference between being owned...and being collared? I am owned at preasent by my Master, however i am not collared. Does that mean that i am a lesser degree His? or in some way not fully His?.....because thats not how i feel. I feel i couldn't be any more His if i tried. A collar wouldn't(to me) increase that. Am i way off the mark about this?


this slave would say it depends on the relationship you have with your Master, not on anyone else's opinion of what ownership or being collared means to them...unless that is important to you.
 
as a symbol of Master's ownership of His slave, this slave wears a collar of His choosing, at all times...sometimes it is connected to a leash which Master holds.  the collar and the leash are symbols of our relationship, like a wedding ring is a symbol of marriage, that stir this slave's heart and mind.
 
for some, a collar and leash are sexually-charged, visual acutrements of a fetish that gets their dick hard(pussy wet) and they certainly don't want to see anything like that outside of the confines of a locked bedroom/dungeon door.



jaunty1 -> RE: a question about being collared (5/22/2007 10:05:16 AM)

quote:

Is there a difference between being owned...and being collared?

Only if you and your partner place a difference on them.
quote:

  I am owned at preasent by my Master, however i am not collared. Does that mean that i am a lesser degree His? or in some way not fully His?.

Absolutly not. The only way it could be of a lesser degree is if you allow it to be.
 
Others have already said it. Ownership, collaring; eveyrone will have  different perspective on this. The only one that matters is yours and your owners.
 
Live well
 
Alex



Masque66 -> RE: a question about being collared (5/22/2007 10:13:33 AM)

To sound a bit cheesy:  The collar is in you.

Nothing around your neck, wrist, waist, or ankle is going to make you more devoted by sheer force of presence.  It's a physical reminder, something there so that everyone can see and know.  Think of it not as a necessity of your relationship but rather as a gift from your master to you.  If he wants you to have a physical collar, you'll find yourself with one soon enough.  Otherwise, be happy that you've found something that so many still struggle to find.



sleazybutterfly -> RE: a question about being collared (5/22/2007 10:16:18 AM)

I have been owned, but not collared.  For us, it was another step in our relationship...sort of like you wouldn't get married to someone you just met, that is how we view the giving of a collar.  Master is the only one I have accepted, and I am very happy I waited until I knew it was lasting and real.

The collar doesn't make your relatioship more deep or magical...it more seals the deal (so to speak).  In this time when collars are taken and then given back like candy, it's nice that you are waiting and don't feel it's the beat all, end all to everything you have together.



imthatacheyouhav -> RE: a question about being collared (5/22/2007 10:32:59 AM)

Thankyou for these awsome replies....i see Y'alls point...i still look forward to having that outward symbol of what i already feel on the inside. If however it is never offered  i will not feel like i was to any lesser degree in the relationship.....i tend to be either hot or cold...black or white...in or out...it drives my husband and my Master crazy....LOL
My goal is not the collar...its the process of total submission to this wonderful Master i was blessed enough to stubble across.......if a collar comes along the way, groovey...i can dig it...but its not the be all and end all for me.



bliss1 -> RE: a question about being collared (5/22/2007 12:38:45 PM)

For me there is a difference - but it comes from the heart.

I can wear a collar and feel many different emotions about the Dom.  (Love, respect, ect.)
I am owned when my heart feels enslaved to the man due to my own emotions toward him.   I don't need a collar for that, my heart tells me he owns me.






sambamanslilgirl -> RE: a question about being collared (5/22/2007 1:06:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressKay
for some a collar represents the same as a wedding ring - it is a symbol of a bond for life - but the reality is few bsdm relationships last more than 2 to 3 years at best (cyber D/s bonds don't usually last more than a month or two).

i suppose my relationship with Daddy is one of the few ldr's which have lasted successfully than your surmise in this statement.  we're going strong for 9 months now and looking forward to a lifetime of togetherness.  the same goes for my secondary Dom as we move our relationship towards ltr with a possiblity of marriage, it's how you build your relationship which gives it that solid foundaton to make it last.



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: a question about being collared (5/22/2007 1:50:18 PM)

In our relationship I was owned before I was collared. It doesn't mean you are lesser anything. A collar to us signifies our permanence and commitment to each other. It is a symbol of that to us. It doesn't make the relationship mean anything different than you want it to.  Basically like a wedding ring would symbolize. It means differ things to different people.



charismagirrl -> RE: a question about being collared (5/22/2007 2:12:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Masque66

To sound a bit cheesy:  The collar is in you.

Nothing around your neck, wrist, waist, or ankle is going to make you more devoted by sheer force of presence.  It's a physical reminder, something there so that everyone can see and know.  Think of it not as a necessity of your relationship but rather as a gift from your master to you. 


To me that statement sounds sooo NOT cheesy...i think it's very sweet. i also think it's kind of how we view things... i am owned, wear his collar, and we have a contract between us that we honor (it wasn't like a negotiation contract)...my collar (s) mean sooo much to me, and he has given me quite a few to 'accessorize" with. The newest one broke and fell off of my neck the other day at the mall and i was almost in tears and my Daddy said "baby, we can get more of those, they're just decorations."

The real collar is on my heart, mind and soul.

Edited to add: Thios topic has been confusing to me as of late though so i'm glad that it was posted. :)



AquaticSub -> RE: a question about being collared (5/22/2007 2:17:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav

Is there a difference between being owned...and being collared? I am owned at preasent by my Master, however i am not collared. Does that mean that i am a lesser degree His? or in some way not fully His?.....because thats not how i feel. I feel i couldn't be any more His if i tried. A collar wouldn't(to me) increase that. Am i way off the mark about this?


It means he doesn't feel putting a collar on you.

Now if your owner feels that not collaring you puts on a lesser status (and you'll have to ask him), then yes, you are on a somewhat lower status in his eyes. This is something that varies from relationship. I am owned but not collared because Valyraen and I feel that collaring is something that should until either just before or after we have made the commitment of marriage and decided to spend our lives together. Just as I hope to only wear one wedding band in my lifetime, I hope to only wear one owner's collar.



ExSteelAgain -> RE: a question about being collared (5/22/2007 2:37:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Masque66

...The collar is in you.

Nothing around your neck, wrist, waist, or ankle is going to make you more devoted by sheer force of presence.  It's a physical reminder, something there so that everyone can see and know.  Think of it not as a necessity of your relationship but rather as a gift from your master to you.  If he wants you to have a physical collar, you'll find yourself with one soon enough.  Otherwise, be happy that you've found something that so many still struggle to find.


Perfectly said.



spanklette -> RE: a question about being collared (5/22/2007 2:53:15 PM)

For me, it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Many equate collars with wedding bands or engagement rings, but my first collar was given without any romantic involvement. I was contractually obliged to be owned by my Master for a year and one day. The collar was purely meant as a symbol of ownership to the outside world, especially since we were attending lifestyle events quite often.
 
Now, though, the meaning of the collar has changed a bit for me. I have been owned by my Daddy for 2+ years and the actual collar, itself, has yet to be placed around my neck. The collaring now has a meaning of lifetime commitment. It is the meaning that we have both placed on the collar. The collar actually exists, but we have not had the time to have, what we think, would be a proper collaring ceremony.
 
My point is, that the meaning of the collar is the meaning that you and your partner give it. If it is a symbol of ownership, or a symbol of commitment, or a kinky piece of jewelry that you both enjoy...that's okay. It's your relationship and no one on the outside can tell you what the dynamics of your relationship are.
 
If you feel less owned, then bring it up. This is all part of that communication process. In the end, it will be his decision, but the meaning comes from both people.



LadyPaige -> RE: a question about being collared (5/23/2007 12:28:52 AM)

I have to agree with everyone else.  The meaning of being or not being collared is defined by your relationship.  If you have a desire for an outward sign declaring to others that you are his, then talk to him about it.



imthatacheyouhav -> RE: a question about being collared (5/23/2007 6:59:42 AM)

Hmmm, i guess i don't think its my place to ask about a collar. 



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: a question about being collared (5/23/2007 7:26:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav
Hmmm, i guess i don't think its my place to ask about a collar. 

And what does your master think?



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