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Swearing - 5/22/2007 3:54:34 PM   
boundkitty


Posts: 62
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		Hello everyone,

I have a swearing problem, which I've had for years. While my Mentor doesn't seem to mind, I know that the majority of Doms will. Does anyone have suggestions for breaking this habit?


boundkitty
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Swearing - 5/22/2007 3:59:22 PM   
Einzelganger


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
Status: offline 		I was a technician at an automotive dealer for about five years, and I'm still involved at the racetrack; as with any place where one must wade through a veritable pool of testosterone, the trash-talking (and thus, swearing) was prolific.  In the first jahr at the dealer, I developed quite a mouth.  So, the way I fixed it was to simply think every complete sentence over in my mind before I speak it, and it worked for me pretty much overnight.  Just a thought...

-Einzelgänger

< Message edited by Einzelganger -- 5/22/2007 4:00:45 PM >

(in reply to boundkitty)
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RE: Swearing - 5/22/2007 4:01:14 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		Put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it every time you swear. You'll begin to notice your swearing habits and start to cut back.
 
I did this, not for a Dominant, but for professional reasons. Can't tell everyone where they can stick that TPS report.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to boundkitty)
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RE: Swearing - 5/22/2007 4:01:35 PM   
Masque66


Posts: 185
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline 		Just something else to train out of you, should it be desired.  Personally I don't mind a slave swearing while under a crop or cat.  Though if it's a constant thing it's not hard to revoke her right to speak for a while.  And if she can't handle that a small gag will help.

Of all the potential obstacles to a good dom/sub relationship that sounds like it would be on the low end of things.

(in reply to boundkitty)
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RE: Swearing - 5/22/2007 4:05:16 PM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		I have a terrible potty mouth. I will be watching with interest the replies.

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to Masque66)
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RE: Swearing - 5/22/2007 4:10:21 PM   
pinksugarsub


Posts: 1224
Status: offline 		i have cursed in everyday situations for most of my life, and like you have tried hard to break the habit.  i found it esp hard to do when S/someone or s'thing raised my ire.  i felt that s'times only "f**k you" would do to convey my meaning.
 
All i can suggest is to try and substitute different words or phrases and explectives for curse words.  Also try to become attuned to when you are cussing and what set it off.  If you can be self-aware enough to know that being irked really does it, possibly you can also notice when yr ire is rising and substitute a good phrase for it.
 
Lastly, you might try learning the foreign language translations for some of yr favorite words.  Odds that A/anyone would know what you've said are low.
 
Best wishes.

_____________________________





(in reply to Masque66)
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RE: Swearing - 5/22/2007 4:47:12 PM   
gypsyfirefly


Posts: 643
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

All i can suggest is to try and substitute different words or phrases and explectives for curse words.  

Lastly, you might try learning the foreign language translations for some of yr favorite words.  Odds that A/anyone would know what you've said are low.
 



I have done both these things and find that they work fairly well, but, not everything is fool proof.  As pinksugarsub said, it will depend on the situation or what caused you to want to swear in the first place.

As for learning the foreign language equivalent, I found this to be helpful as well.  Growing up my Mother's most oft used curse was, "well shit!".  And being young, I found myself imitating her, much to my Father's displeasure.  So she decided to learn the french equivalent - merde (we were living in France at the time), and consequently, so did I.  My Father wasn't thrilled, but it was better than having his daughter saying "well shit" at inappropriate times. lol  I still use it to this day - some habits are just difficult to break after a life long association.  

Good Luck in your endeavor!



We are all wanderers on this earth. Our hearts filled with wonder, our souls deep with dreams. ~Gypsy Proverb

(in reply to pinksugarsub)
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RE: Swearing - 5/22/2007 5:05:47 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		One of the few times I swear freely is when I'm with a guy and that only if I like him a lot and feel comfortable and stuff like that.  The other time is with my sister. 

The first time I told my sister to fuck off, she got really happy because, according to her, I only say it to people I'm really close with.

If I'm gonna speak freely, I'm probably gonna be swearing and there's not too many people I speak freely with.

If you feel it's a problem, in general, then train yourself to use substitutes and speak more carefully, thinking about everything you say.

But, I wouldn't do it just to make yourself more attractive to a Dominant.  If he doesn't like it, perhaps you're not compatible, or you can learn a different way of speaking once you meet him.

Is it true that the majority of Doms don't like swearing?  If it is, my battle ship's just been sunk. :)


_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to boundkitty)
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RE: Swearing - 5/22/2007 5:18:11 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

 Is it true that the majority of Doms don't like swearing?  If it is, my battle ship's just been sunk. :) 


 
Well, golly gee wilikers,  it’s in the handbook! 


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Swearing - 5/22/2007 5:25:47 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		I wasn't aware Dominants minded cursing.  My Dominant enjoys my intelligence and is pleased when that shines through my speech.  In general and I have known exceptions, people sound very stupid when every other word is FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER!  But he doesn't mind a curse word thrown in here and there for emphasis.

But my Dominant likes to beat me until I call him a motherfucker.   So what do we know?

_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to boundkitty)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Swearing - 5/22/2007 6:21:12 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Focus to what you do now, actively replace it with a new habit.  Be specific.  Allow yourself time to change and make mistakes.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Swearing - 5/22/2007 6:24:43 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Write in your profile that you have a swearing problem, and would like your dom to help you correct it.

And tell the same thing to any dom you might be interested in.

quote:

ORIGINAL: boundkitty

I have a swearing problem, which I've had for years. While my Mentor doesn't seem to mind, I know that the majority of Doms will. Does anyone have suggestions for breaking this habit?

(in reply to boundkitty)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Swearing - 5/22/2007 6:36:11 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boundkitty

Hello everyone,

I have a swearing problem, which I've had for years. While my Mentor doesn't seem to mind, I know that the majority of Doms will. Does anyone have suggestions for breaking this habit?


boundkitty

Well, I actually enlisted the help of my teenager with mine  She was developing the same habit so we both agreed that if one used words of that nature, the other could put some dish soap in the mouth. It has worked wonders....my teenager loves to see me squirm

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to boundkitty)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Swearing - 5/22/2007 8:26:18 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boundkitty

Hello everyone,

I have a swearing problem, which I've had for years. While my Mentor doesn't seem to mind, I know that the majority of Doms will. Does anyone have suggestions for breaking this habit?


boundkitty


Everytime you curse, put $1 in a jar; we did this around my house and in a WEEK my father had put in OVER $50, lol. That is PER WORD. Think of all the money you can save by being good.

I only curse when I have to pop my shoulder back in {it dislocates sometimes} or when I am very livid, even then, its rare, it also helps I can curse in 5 languages not including english, so no one can understand me.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to boundkitty)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Swearing - 5/22/2007 8:32:15 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize


 
Well, golly gee wilikers,  it’s in the handbook! 



LMAO...that made me roll...thanks for the laugh I needed it!

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Swearing - 5/23/2007 1:24:40 AM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		Like any habit, you have to put forth a conscious effort to change. An idea that comes to mind is to be around people who do not often swear. Their reactions, however subtle, to your cursing will remind you to tone it down. Do it long enough and not swearing becomes the habit.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Swearing - 5/23/2007 2:22:26 AM   
ennaozzie


Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline 		I found a different word to use, took a while to remember to use it then got used to hesitating then it become a habit to use the different word, then you realise after a while that you are back where you where before and only saying the odd swear word once in a blue moon to me that was exceptable level and guess i got out of the habbit of using the other word i chose,

_____________________________

Never make someone your priority when you are only their option

If coffee hurts your eye's take the spoon out of the mug

(in reply to boundkitty)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Swearing - 5/23/2007 2:34:37 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Does anyone have suggestions for breaking this habit?

Think before you speak

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to boundkitty)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Swearing - 5/23/2007 3:20:50 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Think of the perception you want to give others of you. 
How do you want to be viewed?  If you believe that your swearing is making you less attractive to others, then it's a good time to put you first in your mind and use the discipline to better yourself. 

I swear, sometimes alot.  Usually when I'm frustrated.  Although over the years I have toned it down quite a bit. 
I never even realized what I sounded like until I began to listen to others.  It became quite clear how I could be perceived in a light I didnt care for because of my mouth.  What I did was a lot of listening and tried to emulate those I felt spoke with class.  Sure I still let loose now and then but there is a time and place for everything.

Good Luck!


_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Swearing - 5/23/2007 4:28:36 AM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		I was taught never to swear.
At times in my life I have needed to rebel.
One of those ways is to swear continually.
I enjoyed it for a time and then the need disappeared and I stopped.
I really didn't mind what people thought about me.
Still don't.
They don't actually care about me so why should I waste my time worrying about what they think.
The people who actually know me and care about me understood.

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 20
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