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Vertifying Both parties are legit - 5/22/2007 7:50:15 PM

submissive21

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Joined: 4/6/2007
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I've been on this site a few times and I get fed up and leave. I start talking to a Domme i think is real and then she disapers or starts asking for to much before I even know if shes a guy acting as a Domme. So my question is what can a sub/slave do to vertify his future Domme is real without angering her or looking like he's fishing for photos for a kink?

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RE: Vertifying Both parties are legit - 5/22/2007 9:37:22 PM

earthycouple

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if she gets angry because you want to take it slowly...I firmly suggest you pass her by...she's probably not the Domme for you

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RE: Vertifying Both parties are legit - 5/22/2007 10:35:47 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submissive21

I've been on this site a few times and I get fed up and leave. I start talking to a Domme i think is real and then she disapers or starts asking for to much before I even know if shes a guy acting as a Domme. So my question is what can a sub/slave do to vertify his future Domme is real without angering her or looking like he's fishing for photos for a kink?

Some men do pose as Dommes to get you on cam, ETC or to try to scam you for money. Some women are scammers as well. Ask to speak to her on the phone. Then, ask to meet her in person. If she evades speaking to you on the phone or meeting, trust your instinct and move along.

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RE: Vertifying Both parties are legit - 5/22/2007 10:47:26 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submissive21

I've been on this site a few times and I get fed up and leave. I start talking to a Domme i think is real and then she disapers or starts asking for to much before I even know if shes a guy acting as a Domme. So my question is what can a sub/slave do to vertify his future Domme is real without angering her or looking like he's fishing for photos for a kink?

Hire a P.I. and make sure to comb state records.

People are so fake.

I hate people (seriously dude).

< Message edited by joyinslavery -- 5/22/2007 10:53:31 PM >

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RE: Verifying Both parties are legit - 5/22/2007 10:52:29 PM

TheDiva

Posts: 129
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL
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If you're "talking" to a Domme, but still have uncertainty about whether or not she's really a she...I'm assuming it's just chat? If you're not even sure about gender, it's probably too early to consider someone your "future Domme", so taking that into consideration would probably help.

After you have been chatting for a bit and mutual interest has been established, I would think that a phone call wouldn't be out of line. If the person you're talking to disappears, there's not much you can do about it unless there's some kind of pattern. (Do they stop talking to you after you mention your collection of "Gum Chewed by Famous People"? Or right before you were going to make that U-Haul reservation?)

Be patient and be willing to invest some time. Also be willing to accept the fact that not everyone you talk to is necessarily compatible with you. If you're rushing to get to the Found-A-Domme finish line, you can wind up shortchanging yourself as well as some potential future Dommes.

Good luck!

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RE: Verifying Both parties are legit - 5/22/2007 10:55:36 PM

mansub20

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Joined: 4/5/2006
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If they are asking for money, that's what they want.

If they are asking for you, that's what they want

I cant believe how gullible some people on this site are (and how much money others are making out of their gullibility)

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RE: Verifying Both parties are legit - 5/23/2007 6:10:59 AM

LadyPact

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I'm just curious as to the "asking too much" part of the post. Are you talking about money? Questions that She has had to gather some information about you? Making sure that's really you in the picture?

I ask a lot of things. I'm just inquisitive by nature. I'll ask about pics, past experiences, what kind of work do you do? All kinds of different things. Many of these things are My way of trying to make sure the person on the other side of the screen is legitimate.

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RE: Verifying Both parties are legit - 5/23/2007 6:17:21 AM

earthycouple

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm just curious as to the "asking too much" part of the post. Are you talking about money? Questions that She has had to gather some information about you? Making sure that's really you in the picture?

I ask a lot of things. I'm just inquisitive by nature. I'll ask about pics, past experiences, what kind of work do you do? All kinds of different things. Many of these things are My way of trying to make sure the person on the other side of the screen is legitimate.

I agree with that. I don't ask questions immediately...as I prefer to see what kind of good questions the other guy can muster (when they say "I don't have questions" my alarms go off). I dribble my questions in slowly as a rule, but I ask a TON.

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RE: Vertifying Both parties are legit - 5/23/2007 6:22:10 AM

thetammyjo

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Joined: 9/8/2005
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Number one rule of anything online in my opinion is: Do not get emotionally attached. That way even if she turns out to be a he or anything else, who cares? It's just more information for you to take into consideration and learn from.

My number two rule is: Take what you give and nothing less. So if you have a photo, expect a photo; you have a phone number, expect a phone number; you have references, expect references.

My caution to this is a sad fact of reality. There are more bottoms looking for tops at least for female tops and male bottoms (I'm using top/bottom here generically to cover all aspects of BDSM). Let me give you an example. I have never contacted anyone on this site and asked them if they would be interested in seeing if we were compatible BUT I have received at least 100 such messages myself. This gives me power and I have learned over the years I've been consciously involved in Ds and SM to use that power -- I hope I use it in a good way.

This means that if someone wants to approach me he/she will have to follow my lead. Now I do try to be balance in what I asked (rule two above) but I have also learned to not share some things first because it affects the person talking to me and seems to lessen his/her honesty. For example, I do not share what my favorite SM activities are first -- I ask about what interests that person and during more formal negotiations I gather information without revealing my preferences. Why? Because even when someone does not plan on being dishonest when they hear I like X they bend the truth in the hopes it will make them more acceptable to me. Been there, done that, never good results for me.

My third rule is never chat and always keep a record of what you discuss. This is not only useful to help you review information that you may need but it's also a good way to see through liars who often have difficulty maintaining the lie for very long.

Just my very strong opinion, do with it what you like.

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And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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