LanceHughes -> RE: Last one to post, wins (3/25/2011 12:49:00 PM)
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ORIGINAL: FelineFae * SuperHugs for Lance ! * Well, i have had her at my house for a couple of weeks when he was being really bad. She was happy and safe with me until she'd IM with him and go into a panic attack. He went to a therapist " to get better " and she moved back into their house to " try and work things out ". She knows that she can always come here for any reason. i did go to the womens' shealter and got her lots of literture relivent to her situation, with the mental abuse. She is also in personal therapy and couple's therapy. A friend of mine is also trying to get her into college with us, she is a talented photographer and we're trying to get her to remember who she wants to be in this life... Its not easy, but i'm trying to do the right things. Close, but not quite right. Going to couple's therapy is NOT going to work. He probably is manipulating the therapist as only abusers can. You write, "She knows that she can always come here for any reason." Okay, good. BUT! She doesn't EVER see a reason to do so. Abuse is the ONLY place where we can say "the victim participated in being victimized." Abuse is NOT like rape where (for many years) the way the victim was dressed WAS a defense for the raper. Fortunately, that conceit has been laid to rest. Abuse victims believe their abusers when the abusers say, "I'm sorry. I promise to not do that again." Abuse victims believe their abusers when the abusers say, "I'm willing to try to work things out." Abuse victims believe their abusers when the abusers say, "I'll get better." ========= Ask her to come and stay with you - no reason..... BUT work on her, try to help her see the lies and deceit. Go over the relevant literature WITH her. "Isn't that what he does?" "Doesn't that strike you as wrong?" "Do you want some help to get out of this bad situation?" ========= Bestest of luck.... there's a pot of <good> karma not too far down the road.
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