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How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 9:02:51 PM   
shyinini


Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline 		...... someone to be submissive?

Do you as a dominant want someone who is intrinsically submissive or someone who hasnt a bone of submission in them and teach them to be something they might not be? 



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A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
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RE: How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 9:09:43 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		Trying to teach someone to be something they might not be seems like an exercise in futility.  Your question seems to answer itself.  Why would I look for a submissive who is ... not?  I like a pleaser.

I realize that some dominants *like* to force someone into submission, break down the cocky ones.  Thank goodness for those folks, because the resistors are not my cup of tea.

MSS

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RE: How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 9:14:58 PM   
szobras


Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline 		Teaching someone to act a certain way can be done. Attempting to teach someone to become something they are not, nor have any desire and willingness to pursue will merely result in a facade. One needs to be willing and teachable to learn. I want someone willing to learn.

< Message edited by szobras -- 5/23/2007 9:16:05 PM >

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RE: How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 9:16:03 PM   
CleverAndKnowsIt


Posts: 13
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		I definitely prefer my submissives to be submissive by nature or at least by desire, I feel training should be more about training a submissive with the discipline to be the submissive they want to be then to ‘break them down’. After all, dominating an unwilling person is more or less abuse.

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RE: How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 9:17:37 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline 		That's stupid--that would be like trying to make a gay person straight.  Maybe, somehow, it's possible to find a gay person who got "re-educated" to be straight, to re-align their sexuality.  So maybe it's possible to take someone who isn't an "s" and conditiona them to change their whole sexuality.

That sounds both evil and banal.  And stupid.

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RE: How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 9:18:05 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shyinini

...... someone to be submissive?

The same way you train someone to be tall.

~stef

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"Hypocrisy has consequences"

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RE: How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 9:26:48 PM   
shyinini


Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline 		Think about how many times you have read, all over these boards .... "teaching me to be submissive"  or read in profiles ... "I want to be taught to be submissive".....
How can you assume that the person is intrinsically submissive or just wants to role play (as in bottom)?
 
 
I am just curious...how DOES someone train someone to be submissive  or dominant for that matter?   You read posts here.... we see it all the time....does anyone ever ask ....whaaaaaaaaa ?

edited to add this thought from another thread...
I am not sure what that type of relationship entails or how it developes or if this is a Dom who is just having and teaching you kinky sexual acts.

And for those who question my posting motives..... the thread where that was taken from made me ask...how the hell do you train someone to be submissive? 




< Message edited by shyinini -- 5/23/2007 9:33:54 PM >

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.


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RE: How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 9:35:18 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: shyinini

...... someone to be submissive?

The same way you train someone to be tall.

~stef


You stud!

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RE: How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 9:37:17 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Ditto what they said.  I train specific behaviors, not orientations.

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RE: How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 9:39:18 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

That's stupid--that would be like trying to make a gay person straight.  Maybe, somehow, it's possible to find a gay person who got "re-educated" to be straight, to re-align their sexuality.  So maybe it's possible to take someone who isn't an "s" and conditiona them to change their whole sexuality.

That sounds both evil and banal.  And stupid.


Well sure you can link D/s inextricably to sexuality if you like. All the while it would be well to note that the linkage isn't necessary.

If I get off on dominating and I succeed in engineering the submission of someone who just isn't bent that way--and we both find our own kinds of fulfillment in the interaction--how is it that I am doing something evil, banal (Hannah Arendt fans might smell some redundancy there) and stupid?

Personally I think all the talk about person "being" submissive, and talk of "making" a person submissive tends mostly to cloud the issues rather than clarify them.

Does the person submit? Tend to submit? Like to submit? Want to submit?

Does the person submit to me?

These seem to be questions pulled down from the rarefied metaphysical level of the "be" and "make" questions. These seem like questions in regard to which we can hope to arrive at some intersubjective clarity--as opposed to the too-common ontologically oriented questions.

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RE: How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 9:40:03 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: shyinini

...... someone to be submissive?

The same way you train someone to be tall.

~stef

QFT

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RE: How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 9:41:00 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: shyinini

...... someone to be submissive?

The same way you train someone to be tall.

~stef


Are you volunteering, sugar? I've got some ideas on that one, too.

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RE: How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 9:50:02 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		It's a 3 for 1 sale!

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

You stud!

Pardon?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

QFT

WTF?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

Are you volunteering, sugar? I've got some ideas on that one, too.

Thanks, but I'm already tall enough.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 9:54:18 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah


quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

That's stupid--that would be like trying to make a gay person straight.  Maybe, somehow, it's possible to find a gay person who got "re-educated" to be straight, to re-align their sexuality.  So maybe it's possible to take someone who isn't an "s" and conditiona them to change their whole sexuality.

That sounds both evil and banal.  And stupid.


Well sure you can link D/s inextricably to sexuality if you like. All the while it would be well to note that the linkage isn't necessary.


Yea, because we all know gay people just fuck, and don't have interpersonal relationships.  It's just nothing but sodomy and rugmunching if you're gay, right?  If you're oreintation is gay, it's just sex.

That was fucking brilliant, pal.

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 10:18:32 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		What is QFT?

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A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

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RE: How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 10:54:52 PM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		HelloBossyShoeBitch.Quoted For Truth, methinks. RL.

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RE: How do you train............. - 5/23/2007 11:00:22 PM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shyinini

...... someone to be submissive?

Do you as a dominant want someone who is intrinsically submissive or someone who hasnt a bone of submission in them and teach them to be something they might not be? 




Hello shyinini. You can train someone to 'act' not to 'be'. A sub would be a 'better trainer' for someone doing research for an acting role or something. RL.

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RE: How do you train............. - 5/24/2007 1:41:35 AM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		I am not a self sabotaging person. I prefer success over failure. You can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. My horses drink water because they want to.

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RE: How do you train............. - 5/24/2007 3:01:41 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		You can force obedience, you can't force submission. Submission is an orientation, it can be drawn out but only if it is there in the first place.

I have no interest in a girl who is simply obedient, I WANT her submission.


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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How do you train............. - 5/24/2007 3:38:35 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I always believed that some things just cannot be taught- either it is within you or it isn't. If you have to teach a person  to be submissive all you will be  getting in return is a an actor, not a submissive.

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Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



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