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can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 3:05:07 AM

saltcod

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/3/2007
Status: offline

it's nothing like the real thing obviously, but can regular online training with cam and microphone help a newbie sub get a feel for what it's all about?
and if so, does anyone have any tips on what might work and what doesn't?
many thanks in advance for your thoughts on this one,
saltcod

Post #: 1

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 4:00:50 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

I spose if you're actually getting some benefit from it, even if only in your own mind, then yes, it helps some....

But I have no tips for you because this Dom sure doesn't get anything from it.

Focus.

(in reply to saltcod)

Post #: 2

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 4:05:45 AM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

Try it. It's not going to hurt anything. It isn't like rt training but it will give you a small view of it.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 3

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 4:26:14 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

It can have an effect.... a negative one because it has no relation to real life and the expectations are all wrong when they face things for real. On-line deals with fantasys, off-line you face the reality.

You can talk and discuss online, exchanging PoV's and ensuring you are talking on the same wavelength but 'training'.... nope.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to slaveish)

Post #: 4

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 4:44:04 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: saltcod

it's nothing like the real thing obviously, but can regular online training with cam and microphone help a newbie sub get a feel for what it's all about?
and if so, does anyone have any tips on what might work and what doesn't?
many thanks in advance for your thoughts on this one,
saltcod

You are asking if online training can help a sub get a feel for what it's all about. The answer is no. There is nothing you can do "online" that will give you any understanding of what it is like to live this in "reality".

What will work? Get out to live munches or events and meet live people. Go on live dates. Find someone face to face that you are comfortable exploring this with.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to saltcod)

Post #: 5

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 5:02:16 AM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

I have no desire to ever find out, myself. Even with Robert so far away right now I don't engage in such practices....

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 6

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 5:54:39 AM

subsfaith

Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline

Here is a link to another post re-online training..... (sorry to LA if I am taking over your position LOL)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_1030227/tm.htm
Online domination...

It too contains some more nay-sayers to the online lifestyle who get nothing from it. However it also contains some words from those who do get something from it. As someone said, it isn't like real time, of course not, it is like online training. Someone said it was about fantasy, but the same could be said of all D/s realtionships, which are essentially an illusion of control in the face of consent

I personally believe that online training can give a high level of control given the right people involved. I believe it can be reality, given the strength of online communications and the real time element involved. For example, when my Master is at work I do thinks he has asked me to do, he trusts me to complete them, and generally he doesn't check that I have because he is already certain that I will tell him before he gets chance to ask. I don't need his physical presence to submit to his wishes. I don't need him standing over me watching my tasks/training for me to gain something from the experience.

Admittedly there are lots it doesn't work for. Some people are too needy, some prefer the physical touch/warmth, some are too controlled by their dicks or their spanking hands to even consider it, lots of different reasons. But I would say that if it is something you are interested in, try it out, if it isn't for you, then don't persue it, but at least you won't have been purposely narrow minded through ignorance.

Faith
:: smiles ::

Quote of the day: Sometime you have to suck it and see.

(in reply to saltcod)

Post #: 7

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 6:58:52 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I think it perpetuates unfounded expectations which have to be unlearned more often than not, but it can be useful with the right people.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_640594/mpage_1/key_internet/tm.htm#640674
Interent Training

http://www.collarchat.com/m_514363/mpage_1/key_online/tm.htm#514671
Online relationships

http://www.collarchat.com/m_243191/mpage_2/key_long%252Cdistance/tm.htm#243396
Online or Distance relationships

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to saltcod)

Post #: 8

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 7:59:06 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

What you get out of any relationship or exchange, whether it be in real life or online, is directly related to what you are willing to put into it.

There are a lot of people quick to judge online training as a joke, or not legitimate, and it gives them an opportunity to feel superior because they "only" enjoy real life exchanges. As someone who does BDSM in real life regularly and has since I was a teen (there's no lack of "real life outlet" for me and online is NOT a replacement), I think people who don't "get" online training are often not quite as intelligent and creative, simply put.

The most important sex organ is the brain. If a man cannot find the patience and eloquence to make my heart flutter by using the written word, and conveying the strongest of emotions and passions in doing so, he probably lacks the emotional intelligence and patience to rock my world in the flesh. I like intelligence and I like sensuality and passion; the best lovers are the ones that don't go through the motions, but understand the electricity that comes from touch.

People need to remember that there was a day when people used handwritten letters to spark romance, ignite passion and convey lust. Those that dismiss online training as inferior or "unsatisfying" make me wonder if they are merely dopes, and cannot muster the language to light the fire of another passionate being. Or, they only want the quick fix; a man who can't envision a sexually charged exchange without a grope and the ability to stare at my naked body are probably going to lack the sexual intelligence to really keep me on my toes.

It's rare to find a man who can adequately participate in online training because it does require a lot of work and a great deal of intelligence -- and most of all, honesty. My marriage is a result of a multiple year online exchange (with a healthy dose of phone, granted) and what blew me away about him was his intelligence and ability to get into my head, and he got there from reading my words and sharing his own. I have short emails from him that made me wetter than some men, who would readily dismiss online training as "lame", were able to accomplish in three hours of physical foreplay.

For those that say online training sucks, maybe you aren't doing it right.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to saltcod)

Post #: 9

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 7:59:23 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

I disagree with most of the answers so far. I was introduced to this lifestyle online and it taught me a lot about myself. I think online can be effective if there is complete honesty in doing what you are told as a sub and if both parties have a good imagination. Words can be very powerful and take the mind to new levels of exploration. Online can also go way beyond cybering and setting up fantasy scenes. When my online dom had me do things in real life that i would never have done on my own it was very real to me. My first introduction to erotic pain was from doing things my online dom asked me to do and it turned me into a pain slut. I never imagined i would enjoy that. I guess what i'm trying to say it that it depends on the parties involved and how it is done.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to saltcod)

Post #: 10

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 8:48:07 AM

TigressFL

Posts: 239
Joined: 6/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

What you get out of any relationship or exchange, whether it be in real life or online, is directly related to what you are willing to put into it.

There are a lot of people quick to judge online training as a joke, or not legitimate, and it gives them an opportunity to feel superior because they "only" enjoy real life exchanges. As someone who does BDSM in real life regularly and has since I was a teen (there's no lack of "real life outlet" for me and online is NOT a replacement), I think people who don't "get" online training are often not quite as intelligent and creative, simply put.

The most important sex organ is the brain. If a man cannot find the patience and eloquence to make my heart flutter by using the written word, and conveying the strongest of emotions and passions in doing so, he probably lacks the emotional intelligence and patience to rock my world in the flesh. I like intelligence and I like sensuality and passion; the best lovers are the ones that don't go through the motions, but understand the electricity that comes from touch.

People need to remember that there was a day when people used handwritten letters to spark romance, ignite passion and convey lust. Those that dismiss online training as inferior or "unsatisfying" make me wonder if they are merely dopes, and cannot muster the language to light the fire of another passionate being. Or, they only want the quick fix; a man who can't envision a sexually charged exchange without a grope and the ability to stare at my naked body are probably going to lack the sexual intelligence to really keep me on my toes.

It's rare to find a man who can adequately participate in online training because it does require a lot of work and a great deal of intelligence -- and most of all, honesty. My marriage is a result of a multiple year online exchange (with a healthy dose of phone, granted) and what blew me away about him was his intelligence and ability to get into my head, and he got there from reading my words and sharing his own. I have short emails from him that made me wetter than some men, who would readily dismiss online training as "lame", were able to accomplish in three hours of physical foreplay.

For those that say online training sucks, maybe you aren't doing it right.

Akasha

Your diatribe makes it obvious how you feel about people that will not engage in online training, however, I find your accusations and assumptions to be ignorant and stem from a defensive posture rather than anything factual. You do not know who can or cannot seduce the mind with their words face to face. In addition, if online relationships were all a human being needed or even desired then even you would have never crossed over into being with your now husband.

To the Op:
If you are willing to give up many of the pleasures of face to face human contact and to do as your told without the pleasure and benefits that stem from that face to face connection then online training might just might work for you. Instead of actually feeling the touch of a hand on your skin putting you into bondage, spanking your bottom or anything else for that matter, you can feel your own hand as you pretend it is not your hand. That may indeed be your fantasy. It might turn on to do anything you are told by someone that cannot even stroke your hair, hold you in their arms or even brush against your body as they walk by you. It may be right up your alley to not have to face someone standing in front of you when you have done something incorrect. This lack of all of the human senses may very well be right up your alley. If not, finding someone that can be there with you in every aspect is possible.

Your choice, your life. I wish you well.

_____________________________

Live your own truth, Life is short

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 11

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 9:31:29 AM

wildangel1

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline

...I would like to post here from "personal "experience. Realizing that all sub/slaves are different and what works for one doesn't work for another I was new when I joined this site and was simply looking to educate myself and very curious (gets me in trouble sometimes) but after talking to many doms/masters and learning the different things they seek I felt there were no "matches" for me....then I stumbled across one profile that caught my eye and there was a definite "connection"-mentally he crawled inside my mind-I was thinking I was too strong willed (and with most I am) but he is resolute ,strict yet caring and I found myself wanting to be owned-he knows my thoughts(hate that) and when i try to do anything but what he commands he is already 1 step ahead of me.
Because of my current situation I can not be a live in 24/7 but I have not only learned basics,protocol and burn to learn but with the connection I can get to subspace by his voice and do not like coming back from it-this is like a lifeline to me-like the air i breathe and without the online training I would never have been able to find the true slave within myself and he takes me deeper each time-I realize I am lucky to have this commitment from my sir and so grateful for it-
I will say one word of warning though with online is that if it is done right it makes a girl want to get on a plane for the first flight out....hee hee
..with such an online connection can't imagine how wonderful real life experience would be-smiles
grateful-wildangel

(in reply to saltcod)

Post #: 12

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 10:25:12 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: saltcod

it's nothing like the real thing obviously, but can regular online training with cam and microphone help a newbie sub get a feel for what it's all about?
and if so, does anyone have any tips on what might work and what doesn't?
many thanks in advance for your thoughts on this one,
saltcod

Here you can follow these steps to see if online training works:

1) Spank yourself

2) Ask yourself "Was it the same as someone else spanking me?"

Images on a screen are not the same as intra-personal interactions.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to saltcod)

Post #: 13

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 10:49:42 AM

Copulo

Posts: 268
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

What you get out of any relationship or exchange, whether it be in real life or online, is directly related to what you are willing to put into it.

There are a lot of people quick to judge online training as a joke, or not legitimate, and it gives them an opportunity to feel superior because they "only" enjoy real life exchanges. As someone who does BDSM in real life regularly and has since I was a teen (there's no lack of "real life outlet" for me and online is NOT a replacement), I think people who don't "get" online training are often not quite as intelligent and creative, simply put.

The most important sex organ is the brain. If a man cannot find the patience and eloquence to make my heart flutter by using the written word, and conveying the strongest of emotions and passions in doing so, he probably lacks the emotional intelligence and patience to rock my world in the flesh. I like intelligence and I like sensuality and passion; the best lovers are the ones that don't go through the motions, but understand the electricity that comes from touch.

People need to remember that there was a day when people used handwritten letters to spark romance, ignite passion and convey lust. Those that dismiss online training as inferior or "unsatisfying" make me wonder if they are merely dopes, and cannot muster the language to light the fire of another passionate being. Or, they only want the quick fix; a man who can't envision a sexually charged exchange without a grope and the ability to stare at my naked body are probably going to lack the sexual intelligence to really keep me on my toes.

It's rare to find a man who can adequately participate in online training because it does require a lot of work and a great deal of intelligence -- and most of all, honesty. My marriage is a result of a multiple year online exchange (with a healthy dose of phone, granted) and what blew me away about him was his intelligence and ability to get into my head, and he got there from reading my words and sharing his own. I have short emails from him that made me wetter than some men, who would readily dismiss online training as "lame", were able to accomplish in three hours of physical foreplay.

For those that say online training sucks, maybe you aren't doing it right.

Akasha

All I can say is WOW, WOW and WOW again. You honestly make so much sense!

I too believe that all of this comes 100% from the erogenous zone and that everything else is just icing on the cake.
Like you, I do this very much so in rl. I run a club and have many subs at my beck and call so why the hell would I want to be online looking for a sub? For the simple reasons that our initial interactions will not be of a virtually naked body in front of me, or that he/she will be at my feet talking the talk. He/she will be conversing with me in an intelligent manor and probably showing me far more of themselves than they would if initially sitting at my feet.
Can I control on line? Oh you bet I can and on the occasions that I cant then I am the wrong match for that submissive.

They are far more likely to fool around in chat than they are in rl but they are far more likely to fake it in rl than they are in chat.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 14

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 11:24:44 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

Here you can follow these steps to see if online training works:

1) Spank yourself

2) Ask yourself "Was it the same as someone else spanking me?"

For many it isn't all about spanking, it's about obedience and control, and you can certainly obey online orders.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 15

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 1:05:52 PM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: saltcod
it's nothing like the real thing obviously, but can regular online training with cam and microphone help a newbie sub get a feel for what it's all about?
and if so, does anyone have any tips on what might work and what doesn't?
many thanks in advance for your thoughts on this one,
saltcod

I don't do webcam - ever. It's just not Me. But online training can be beneficial if it is conducted with the right goals, and methods.

I would first have to explain what I define as training:
For Me, training isn't sexual - at least not until we are waaay advanced into an actual real life relationship. THEN I will begin training exactly how I like the slave to conduct themselves in My bed and in My dungeon. Before that happens, I have trained the slave to consider their wants, needs, flaws, skills, habits, etc. and deciding whether they are suited to a life of servitude. If they are suited, what style of dominance fits their needs. If they lack important skills, we begin to research and then to develop them. Once a level of skill is achieved, we begin to apply them.

I require that all My slaves know basic things, such as driving an automobile, cooking, housecleaning, minor car repair, pet care (I am a dog breeder and the slave is there to make MY life easier when possible).

I also teach them critical thinking. I want someone who is intelligent, wise, and observant. They should be someone who doesn't require dogma, but who can apply principals to arrive at good life choices regardless of whether I am there looking over their shoulder.

Some scene activities can also be taught/trained online, but I've found that once the other forms of training are underway, even scene activities are taught more easily and realistically. Cleansing enemas, diet, health, hygiene, anal training, pain management, feminization, humiliation, etc all mean more once a connection to a person has been formed.

I wonder at the people who say online training is impossible. Our entire society is switching to online in many ways. The University of Phoenix is laughing at naysayers all the way to the bank!

_____________________________

Lady Kathryn
Athens, Ga.
House of Phoenix

"Nothing is ever final until you're dead - and even then I'm sure God negotiates" Anjelica Huston in Everafter

(in reply to saltcod)

Post #: 16

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 1:28:57 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

It can have an effect.... a negative one because it has no relation to real life and the expectations are all wrong when they face things for real. On-line deals with fantasys, off-line you face the reality.

You can talk and discuss online, exchanging PoV's and ensuring you are talking on the same wavelength but 'training'.... nope.

This probably comes closest to how I feel.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 17

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 1:52:24 PM

rollinonward05

Posts: 78
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline

Well it has worked for Master and i and that is how we got to know one another and moved it forward to what we have today.
But noone who has never tried online training or beginning a relationship this way can really judge if it works or not. It is only those involved in that kind of beginning that can really judge if it works .... for them.
rollinonward

(in reply to saltcod)

Post #: 18

RE: can online training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 3:55:38 PM

LadyPaige

Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I think it all depends on who all parties are. I'd suggest you be cautions though when obeying an on-line Dom in case he's all fantasy (you aren't part of a game, you can get hurt). If he tells you to do anything dangerous (go to a bar, go into the mens room, strip and do aything any of the men tell you to....) then move on because you don't need a Dom who is not protective of your safety. I began my foray into BDSM while I was seperated, but still married. I "met" a Master and a Mentor and received some on-line training. It almost as exciting as my first real life experience because it was new and exciting; but more importantly, it exposed me to the real life principles of BDSM, gave me confidence, and when my divorce was final I was ready to enter the real world of BDSM. I suppose I mispoke when I refered to it as new. I actually had a couple M/s relationships, but I didn't know the labels then. I rediscovered it with all the labels and so much more.

(in reply to rollinonward05)

Post #: 19

RE: can on line training have any proper effect? - 5/24/2007 6:32:13 PM

LightHeartedMaam

Posts: 296
Joined: 5/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: saltcod

it's nothing like the real thing obviously, but can regular online training with cam and microphone help a newbie sub get a feel for what it's all about?
and if so, does anyone have any tips on what might work and what doesn't?
many thanks in advance for your thoughts on this one,
saltcod

Thirteen years ago when I discovered this all on line. I dove into it. I did do on line training I eventually met my on line slave for an RT meeting and his first session. This is an opportune question. Two days ago, after TEN years he contacted me on line! He had been seeking a FermDomme for 6 years and finally found a good connection with a Gay Male Dom. They just clicked. He thanked me for giving him the basics and answering his questions.

So yes, it can have some impact.

_____________________________

Now that I'm older, I thought it was great that it seems I have more patience. Turns out, that I just don't give a sh*t.

(in reply to saltcod)

Post #: 20

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