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MaamJay -> RE: can online training have any proper effect? (5/25/2007 1:57:43 AM)
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Well as expected you got a fair share of naysayers and a few who say yes it can do something but not everything! Unfortunately the naysayers tend to immediately lump people who think it can achieve something into the category of "fantasy fakes/players" etc but I don't agree with that. I KNOW what I am in real life and how I got there. What I would say is this:
I began online. I quickly moved to phone as well as online. I discovered that I really could take control of someone to the extent of having them do what I said and hearing the absolute awe in his voice when he said "You can control me from half a world away!" It was awesome to Me too! I learned a LOT about principles and gained a lot of understanding about D/s from being online, both in terms of reading and research and in online discussions and play. I was exposed to a lot of different styles, beliefs and protocols, which I was able to sift through and decide which fitted Me and which to discard. i first discovered my sub side online too and received some good training in terms of mental attitudes and self discipline. In that respect, in the mental side of bdsm and D/s ... then online can be as effective as most other means AS LONG AS BOTH PEOPLE ARE SINCERE. Of course, as we know, that may not always be the case. Honesty is obviously essential! But then, it is in real life too.
What doesn't online do? Well it doesn't give you much idea at all of the physical side of bdsm. Slapping yourself doesn't really do it, and while some are wired to self-bondage, for me it does nothing! I know from My first real life experience as a Domme that all My online efforts with a sub hadn't really prepared him for the moment I told him to strip! he baulked at removing his underpants ... I had to do some quick thinking and told him to do some foot worship (which I knew he was really keen to do) ... after a little while he was happy to get his gear off. Why the initial reluctance? Well much to his own surprise, he hadn't got instantly hard and was embarrassed! I assured him that was no concern, I actually like to see it start off soft and get harder in response to Me ... so all was well thereafter. So being online hadn't entirely prepared U/us .... BUT at least I knew that the foot worship was likely to work so I had something to work with. I might not have known that had W/we not "scened online" previously. So it wasn't all bad.
I do know that these days, now I am 24/7 real life with Master, I want a real time sub/slave. I am not willing to enter into protracted online arrangements. But I will commence mental training online with the aim to get to a real time meeting asap. Ultimately I want a sub/slave who has a healthy amount of self-discipline, not one I have to chase up every moment of the day. I believe I can commence that sort of training online and can also explore his attitudes to various aspects of D/s and bdsm and conduct an education program with him. But again, it takes a genuine person to work at that.
I guess it comes down to what your "take" on this is all about. If it's all about the physical, then online is not for you. If it's all about the mental, it may be. And if it's about half and half as it is for Me ... then it can be a useful tool for part of the training I require.
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
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