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What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 6:13:28 AM

pahunkboy

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tell me. i really want to know.

i thought it was living and let live. enjoying a sunset. that 1st cup of coffee.

seems on every level it is bickering mud slinging and destroying people.

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 6:24:18 AM

mistoferin

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Happiness is only grin deep.

Nah, seriously, I think happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy or be miserable....it requires effort. The most common mistake people make in their search for happiness is that they look externally for it and they will never find it there. It comes from inside yourself.

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 6:26:53 AM

SirDominic

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Happiness is a state of mind. Life events don't make you happy. Life events can be good sometimes, not so wonderful other times. You have no control, or at least very little control, over that. You DO have control on how you will react to those events.

Yeah, there can be a lot of bickering on these forums, but it does not follow that destroying people is the goal. I disagree with others opinions from time to time; and once in a while they have even turned a bit heated. But I have no ill will toward those people. It is the ideas I disapprove of, not the people giving them. If more people could come to understand this difference, they wouldn't automatically feel they are being attacked personally.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 6:30:37 AM

gypsygrl

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quote:

i thought it was living and let live. enjoying a sunset. that 1st cup of coffee.

This about sums it up for me. Its those little moments that come out of nowhere but shine in their perfection.

The bickering provides a foil and makes those moments shine brighter.

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 6:31:36 AM

puella

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Hello pahunkboy,

Given the tenor of your last few posts, I gather that you are going through a 'spot'. I understand the need to find answers to questions like this, but I would suggest that you are the person who needs to answer them.

If you have a bit of time, go to the library and take out the book 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance'. It has some pretty heavy ideas running through it, including value and quality, which both play into happiness. It is dark but I think it might, paradoxically, both get you out of your head and focus your head at the same time... and mow your lawn!!!

< Message edited by puella -- 5/24/2007 6:42:59 AM >

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 6:38:46 AM

truesub4u

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I agree with Mist..... look to yourself for happiness.... because if you're waiting for someone else to show you happiness... you're going to be sad a long damn time.

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 7:16:05 AM

pahunkboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

Hello pahunkboy,

Given the tenor of your last few posts, I gather that you are going through a 'spot'. I understand the need to find answers to questions like this, but I would suggest that you are the person who needs to answer them.

If you have a bit of time, go to the library and take out the book 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance'. It has some pretty heavy ideas running through it, including value and quality, which both play into happiness. It is dark but I think it might, paradoxically, both get you out of your head and focus your head at the same time... and mow your lawn!!!

thank you for noticing. my brother says I have buyers remorse. i am reaching out to a nieghbor, she has some real life experience and I can learn from her.

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 7:21:21 AM

KatyLied

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Some things to consider. You just made a huge purchase, a home mortgage is huge. At least for me it is, it is the biggest asset/liability that I am responsible for (financially, anyway). I think you have stress, excitement and letdown, it's normal.

You make your own happiness. It's yours. Not to be compared with others. I agree with others who have said happiness is a state of mind. You make your own state of mind. You decide which thoughts to let in and which need to go away. Here's what a therapist told me -- it's okay to fake being happy before you actually get there. It's always better to offer a smile instead of a frown. You need to work on your thought process. It's not easy, but it can be done.

< Message edited by KatyLied -- 5/24/2007 7:23:13 AM >

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 8:09:37 AM

pahunkboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Some things to consider. You just made a huge purchase, a home mortgage is huge. At least for me it is, it is the biggest asset/liability that I am responsible for (financially, anyway). I think you have stress, excitement and letdown, it's normal.

You make your own happiness. It's yours. Not to be compared with others. I agree with others who have said happiness is a state of mind. You make your own state of mind. You decide which thoughts to let in and which need to go away. Here's what a therapist told me -- it's okay to fake being happy before you actually get there. It's always better to offer a smile instead of a frown. You need to work on your thought process. It's not easy, but it can be done.

Katy, you are a sweetheart.

Im watering the plants and scaping off the house for sale i spray painted on my windows- alll of them in glow in the dark paint.

im also catching up on being out of order.

you have been around long enuff to know the usual me. i want that back.

i actually had considerred letting this palcwe go to foreclsoure.

i have opened up to the one neighbor- she is sorta guiding me. i hate to take too much of her time. she knows there is capacity here. i was hesistant as she is babtist. she doesnt quite understand my wanting to wall the world out.

i had her come in here. she sees what im up against.

meanwhile relations with my brother are good.

smile. and thank you and so many here for being here. :-)

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 8:41:56 AM

KatyLied

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One day at a time, sometimes that's the best way to approach things.

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 8:52:28 AM

slaverosebeauty

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Happiness is being a parent and hearing those words, "I Love You Mommy' every day and getting my hugs and kisses.

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 8:58:45 AM

Sternhand4

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

Happiness is being a parent and hearing those words, "I Love You Mommy' every day and getting my hugs and kisses.

This is the essence of happiness.. family and friends well and whole ... I have just had to reasses this myself.
Its not about owning "things", you'll gladly part with everything to get that I love you Mom or Dad..

Relax about the house...

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 9:02:51 AM

KatyLied

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I disagree a bit, about the owning of things.
For me it's important because owning a home will provide a vehicle of inheritance for my children. As a single parent I can't do as much as I'd like to as far as providing for them upon my death, leaving a financial legacy for them. Through the owning of things we can provide for others in our life.

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 9:08:30 AM

Sternhand4

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I disagree a bit, about the owning of things.
For me it's important because owning a home will provide a vehicle of inheritance for my children. As a single parent I can't do as much as I'd like to as far as providing for them upon my death, leaving a financial legacy for them. Through the owning of things we can provide for others in our life.

When your standing in an ICU looking at your kid, with tubes running in and out of him, you'd trade it all.. you'd wish to trade places to take the pain...trust me

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 9:17:19 AM

caitlyn

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Silly man ... there is no such thing as happiness.

You just have to learn to be happy without it.

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 9:22:50 AM

slaverosebeauty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sternhand4

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I disagree a bit, about the owning of things.
For me it's important because owning a home will provide a vehicle of inheritance for my children. As a single parent I can't do as much as I'd like to as far as providing for them upon my death, leaving a financial legacy for them. Through the owning of things we can provide for others in our life.

When your standing in an ICU looking at your kid, with tubes running in and out of him, you'd trade it all.. you'd wish to trade places to take the pain...trust me

Definatly. A few days after my son was born he had an IV in his head, I was a wreck; I was fighting my own battle to live, my nurses kept telling me, 'the IV is in just in case.' I still cried. My focus was on my child and he was fine, just a little bit of jaundice. My mother was at the hospital with me and talking to the doctors, I never saw her look so scared {I was septic and they were worried I might die if things didn't change}, and she told me, 'I love you, you are my daughter, you and your sister and my grandson make me happy.' No 'things' involved, just love and family.

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 9:34:57 AM

imthatacheyouhav

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Happiness is having adult children and hearing...."Mom you were right"....LOL...that makes raising 3 teenagers at the SAME time worth it.....

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 9:38:39 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav

Happiness is having adult children and hearing...."Mom you were right"

have been saying that to my mom ever since my 2 UMs were born.

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 10:17:27 AM

philosophy

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.....happiness is having just enough to worry about, and not a jot more.........

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RE: What is happiness? - 5/24/2007 11:39:40 AM

proudsub

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Happiness is making a birdie or eagle in golf.

< Message edited by proudsub -- 5/24/2007 12:38:03 PM >

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