RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question?

RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (Full Version)

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SimplyMichael -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/24/2007 7:26:22 PM)
Celeste, This isn't mean as your average flogger dom party is my understanding. No single dominants or submissives are allowed. This is mean to be a D/s event where we get to act all dominant and stuff. SO, if someone's service to me is so heavily dependent on their mood, that they can't stand for an hour knowing not only that that is making me proud but that I am busy enjoying myself at a rare D/s specific event, I am frankly going to go looking for another partner. Luckily I don't have to. Besides, if you are worth your salt as a dominant you know how far to push and leaving her kneeling in a comfortable position where the occasional glance can make sure her posture is good and that she is the glorious little fuckhole you adore, then all should be good with the world and in my world it is very VERY good!

SimplyMichael -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/24/2007 7:28:40 PM)
quote: it is true that some submissives are indeed vulnerable people, who if left alone in an environment like a lifestyle club, even for a few minutes, could be harassed or molested by other Dominants. If they are so poor at announcing and protecting their boundaries they have little business doing Bdsm and I have never been to a "lifestyle club" where people "molest" others, hit on yes, but harass and molest? No.

robertolapiedra -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/24/2007 7:28:52 PM)
Hello SimplyMichael. You are right. It should read " There will be a submissive 'only' (or exclusive) space....etc". It does sound pejorative as it stands. RL.

earthycouple -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/24/2007 7:33:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Celeste, This isn't mean as your average flogger dom party is my understanding. No single dominants or submissives are allowed. This is mean to be a D/s event where we get to act all dominant and stuff. SO, if someone's service to me is so heavily dependent on their mood, that they can't stand for an hour knowing not only that that is making me proud but that I am busy enjoying myself at a rare D/s specific event, I am frankly going to go looking for another partner. Luckily I don't have to. Besides, if you are worth your salt as a dominant you know how far to push and leaving her kneeling in a comfortable position where the occasional glance can make sure her posture is good and that she is the glorious little fuckhole you adore, then all should be good with the world and in my world it is very VERY good! I totally agree....I was in a situation very similar to what you mention back in my "sub" days...S and I wasn't watched carefully and he didn't know me well enough...and he left me...left me sitting, eyes closed, not allowed to speak for hours. I endured, I was miserable, I found a Dom who grew to know me. see first experiences thread psst...Michael could easily bring out the bottom in me....

daddysprop247 -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/24/2007 7:52:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: it is true that some submissives are indeed vulnerable people, who if left alone in an environment like a lifestyle club, even for a few minutes, could be harassed or molested by other Dominants. If they are so poor at announcing and protecting their boundaries they have little business doing Bdsm and I have never been to a "lifestyle club" where people "molest" others, hit on yes, but harass and molest? No. it happens, and i'm sure not just in DC. there are jerks and a-holes the world over. as for your assertion that these submissives are "poor at announcing and protecting their boundaries," this idea does not take into account two things: 1. those whose very submissive nature leave them vulnerable, and therefore incapable of asserting or protecting themselves (yes you've made it clear repeatedly that such submissives are not your cup of tea, however we are out there); and 2. some Dominants/Masters will not allow their submissive/slave to "announce and protect their boundaries," to the point of even conditioning them out of such tendencies, because that is not a quality they find desireable in a partner.

DominaSmartass -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/24/2007 8:56:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael How much "high protocol" is there if a submissive is left alone some wolf will have his way with her? Same goes for the little twit if standing or waiting for an hour is "too much" for her/him. First of all, I completely agree that the wording was a poor, poor choice. Second of all, I completely agree that a sub-only area may be appropriate at a high protocal event in order to give the subs a break and allow them to have fun without disrupting the atmosphere of the general party. If the point is for everyone to be in high protocol, it probably wouldn't be too likely that the subs would be running around laughing, galavanting, and having fun in each others' company as they often like to do. You know how subs are! Yet, it can get tiring for everyone to maintain some strict, formal level all night and I can certainly see how the subs could benefit from getting a timeout, so to speak, to just enjoy the party. Perhaps calling it something other than a safe space would have been wise though. Why don't you write back to the organizer and ask them to explain what the purpose of the "safe space" is?

spanklette -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/24/2007 8:58:08 PM)
In my experience, at these types of high protocol events...the submissives/slaves were the most dangerous ones to be left alone with. I don't mean that in a physical sense, but in an emotional sense. Gossip, gosip, gossip. And, because at these events, most of the slaves that I came in contact with were not allowed to speak freely...well, when they got the chance...it got nasty and cliquish in a hurry. So, generally, I prefer to be left on my own fending off the toe-stepping Doms than the caterwauling submissives. Just me, though.[:D]

SimplyMichael -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/24/2007 11:46:59 PM)
I had forgetten how much the SF scene is run by and for submissives. I am getting roasted on the SF board for daring to question the concept.

MaamJay -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/25/2007 12:30:46 AM)
I agree it was poorly worded, a subby open chat room would have been more appropriate given the nature of the event. Never found the need for such at parties We used to run because they were never high protocol events, even though overt D/s was every bit as welcome as was BDSM play. The relaxed nature of the Perth scene didn't make such events something that was requested. At times a couple would attend and the Dominant would announce that their sub was on speech restriction for the night and clarify exactly what they meant by that. People cheerfully worked within that and respected it ... though there were any number of tell-tales if the subby tripped up LOL! However, generally the subbies were better talkers than the Dominants! Of course, that was probably because the Dominants were busy planning the next ingenious scene ... However, anyone interfering with someone else's sub would have been ejected immediately, Our protocols clearly showed that was totally unacceptable, whether their Dominant was present or not at the time. About the only time a sub was handed over to another trusted Dominant was if they had recently scened and might be a bit wobbly etc ... usually only momentary care while their Dominant went and got them some food or drink as part of their aftercare. Those few who were not permitted to talk to other Dominants were generally allowed to say that should a Dominant speak to them unknowing of their restriction, and it was then up to the Dominant to respect that. We never had problems in that regard, people respected that others may have different rules, and no way would anyone be touched physically! I am horrified to hear what happened to daddysprop247 and shows perhaps, a lack of vigilance on the part of the party/club organisers to induct guests appropriately, make sure they understand the protocols and have sufficient Dungeon Monitors to ensure such breaches do not occur. Have fun at the event though Michael, I hope that poor wording doesn't put You off attending. Maam Jay aka violet[A]

Copulo -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/25/2007 12:46:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave quote: ORIGINAL: Copulo Well we have never had such a place in our club but many many times I have been handed a sub to look after whilst her/his Master/Mistress go off to do something and many times I have handed my sub over to be looked after by a friend whilst I go to do something. The reason I do this is part of the D/s head trip and nothing to do with weather or not they can look after themselves. I know my subs will be safe within a club because they know a lot of people but I hand them over all the same! Believe it or not MagiksSlave, many subs actually enjoy this. If we want to be all grown up and mature about it then why keep our eyes downcast or remain on speech deprivation. I mean why not be allowed to talk when you can converse as intelligently as the next person!!! My subs are not only fully functioning adults too but are also articulate, well educated and responsible. But when they are in a club environment with me they are kept on an extremely tight reign. The dynamics of who they are in the outside world changes and they become submissive. If your Master does not desire to do that then fine. If I desire to do that then that’s fine too. This is where you are assuming to much about my relationship, I dont keep my eyes down cast and Im never on speach restriction Master allows me to cary on intelagent and sometimes even just silly convos with all others when we are at events... I dont see how it is Domly to treats ones slave like (unless of course it is for roleplay, because me and Master do do that sometimes) a child but thats just me!! Magik's slave PMSL I assume nothing about your relationship, why would I? Was I talking about you? You obviously thought so! It’s you that’s being presumptious when you assume that statement was about you and your relationship. I sense a strong touch of intolerance when you say that down cast eyes and speech deprivation is childish (unless of course its role-play) It most certainly has nothing to do with role-play (in my book). If its not for you then fine but just because you don’t like it does not mean its childish!! Each to their own and all that

Copulo -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/25/2007 12:56:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael How much "high protocol" is there if a submissive is left alone some wolf will have his way with her? Same goes for the little twit if standing or waiting for an hour is "too much" for her/him. There is only protocol amongst those that desire to use it. Lets say you draw a chalk circle out on the floor and stand your sub naked within that circle, then went to the bar for a drink Some will respect that the chalk circle represents a wall between the sub and themselves and would not dream of interrupting whilst others would pounce on her the minute you left her side. Risk it or not? Recently a Dom guy I know tied his slave to a rail for a couple of hours. He pinned a sign over her body ‘Slave of Master XXX do not touch and do not talk to her. He kept his distance but also kept a close eye on her. Within minutes she was being harassed.

CrazyC -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/25/2007 1:13:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: spanklette I don't mean that in a physical sense, but in an emotional sense. Gossip, gosip, gossip. And, because at these events, most of the slaves that I came in contact with were not allowed to speak freely...well, when they got the chance...it got nasty and cliquish in a hurry. So, generally, I prefer to be left on my own fending off the toe-stepping Doms than the caterwauling submissives. Just me, though.[:D] LOL i am right there with you! I would much rather want the treatment of being fresh meat to that any day.

Copulo -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/25/2007 1:15:01 AM)
MaamJay said a lack of vigilance on the part of the party/club organisers to induct guests appropriately, make sure they understand the protocols and have sufficient Dungeon Monitors to ensure such breaches do not occur. That’s all good and well if it’s a small intimate club. Our club takes between 300 and 500 people and runs for 7 hours. We have plenty of DM’s and we have rules and notices around the club but with that amount of people we can not monitor everyone all of the time. We have to rely to an extent on people reporting an incident. If it gets reported then it gets dealt with.

CrazyC -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/25/2007 1:15:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael I had forgetten how much the SF scene is run by and for submissives. I am getting roasted on the SF board for daring to question the concept. hehehe. You had to open the can of worms. What were you expecting? Admit it....you love rocking the boat.

SirDominic -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/25/2007 6:34:49 AM)
Michael, in this case I think you are making much ado about nothing. The concept of the "safe place" is very common at a lot of these events. It may not be the best choice of words, but it is the buzz word that people are used to. They understand it as a place of their own where they are "safe" to express themselves in a way that they may not normally be able to do in a mixed Dom/sub environment. Many subs/slaves are confident enough in themselves that they have no need for such a place, but there are equally as many, not as secure, who find it comforting. Namaste, Sir Dominic

SimplyMichael -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/25/2007 7:26:22 AM)
quote: The concept of the "safe place" is very common at a lot of these events "These" events? Most normal parties have no such thing. SF doesn't have events like this, it is a new thing so not sure who anything can be "common". What exact types of events are you refering to and where are they common?

mistoferin -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/25/2007 7:39:26 AM)
Michael I don't think that I have ever been to an event where there was a submissive "safe" area. There have certainly been areas or rooms where submissives tend to gather and chat....but there weren't any "No Doms Allowed!" signs on the door. I don't understand the need for such a specific area, particularly at a couple's event.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/25/2007 7:41:39 AM)
I have never seen anything like that at a one nighter event. I have gone to subs only munches, chats and parties, and at multi-day conventions I've seen subs only parties and classes, but never seen a "safe zone for subs."

KnightofMists -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/25/2007 7:44:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: "There will be a submissive safe space for networking, bonding, and support from fellow subs, both male and female. " Is this like a play space that some stores have that parents can drop their little ones at while they go do adult stuff? Isn't it so cool that we can drop our submissives off and go do dom stuff?

Copulo -> RE: BS or D/s - a long winded question? (5/25/2007 8:57:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: "There will be a submissive safe space for networking, bonding, and support from fellow subs, both male and female. " Is this like a play space that some stores have that parents can drop their little ones at while they go do adult stuff? Isn't it so cool that we can drop our submissives off and go do dom stuff? Oh be carefull what you say KnightofMists [&:] I got hammered for saying that!!

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