Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

meeting Safty for Submissive?slave


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> meeting Safty for Submissive?slave Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/17/2005 9:57:08 PM   
Greywulf


Posts: 9
Joined: 3/26/2005
Status: offline 		Has it become common place for submissive or slaves to forgo personal safety when meeting a new dominant? I am currently looking for a submissive / slave and I am quite perplexed at the number of females that do not wish to “get to know” a dominant before committing to or playing with. I have had replies that state that they have enough friends and are looking to meet a real dominant. As a dominant I would never scene with someone that I do not know their safe words, limits and if there are any special needs (i.e. medical limitations and so on). In addition, has safe call be tossed to the side? By this, I mean that when I meet someone new I expect them to make a check in phone call. Am I out of date or what?

What do you think?
Greywulf

_____________________________

Wulf
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/17/2005 9:59:09 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		YES TIMES HAVE REALLY CHANGED AND NOW NOONE GIVES A DMAN ABOUT SAFETY. I MEAN LIKE JUST THE OTHER NITE I MET A BITCH IN A BAR IT WAS VANILA AND BEFORE THE NITE WAS THRU SHE AKSED ME TO HER PALACE. I WAS LIKE U MEAN NO SAFE CALL NO NOTHING?

(in reply to Greywulf)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/17/2005 10:59:38 PM   
Omnesub


Posts: 16
Joined: 4/17/2005
Status: offline 		I have been thinking a lot about safety the last few days. While I have read the same things about safe calls (seems a good idea) .. when is it safe to drop the safety measures? (after the first time you play?)

After you know all “facts” about a person (medical, life situation, what they spend their free time on, religion, what they are looking for, their limits…and so on) where is the point that you “know” them? Do you know them after meeting them once for lunch? (and then its safe to play?) or can you know them only from online / talking on the phone?

What about a case where the person lives a distance from you? (so just going to meet them for lunch isn’t possible) Or what about a situation where you are going to see them for more then a play session? (is it possible to know someone online to that level to try and begin a relationship? And the same questions as before…is it more then just knowing the facts about them?)

I guess I didn’t do a very good job of answering your question…instead I just added more behind it. But, its an important subject...better safe then sorry.

(in reply to Greywulf)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/18/2005 1:51:40 AM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		I think it's commonplace for humans to engage in risky behavior. Most of it, however, is calculated risk.
I try to make informed and smart decisions in my every day life, and that extends to my personal dating life, also. I have never used a safe-call when meeting someone face to face. I meet them like I would anyone else. I currently have two play partners. I met them both on-line and we exchanged a few e-mails. After that, we set up a coffee date. No pressure, something public and really light. I played with one person the night we met, and played with the other a few weeks after we met. I don't feel at any time that I was in danger. It's about using your intuition and looking for warning signs. It's about meeting in an environment that is comfortable. If I HAD wanted to meet in a BDSM context, there's also the local dungeons. I'm lucky enough to live in a city with options.
As for addressing personal kinks, quirks and medical issues- the internet has given us a way to look up those things w/o even neccessarily discussing it. On another website that I use, there is an extensive questionaire and essay session. I've never had a problem referring people to that information, and I've yet to meet someone that didn't already have one filled out, also.
I am answering this assuming you're talking about meeting someone off of the internet.
I also check references. I find out who someone is. Once again, I am lucky to live in a city with these resources. There is a definite scene in LA and everyone seems connected.
i think that safety is just as important as it "used to be", especially for subs. I think it's just easier now, as there are more resources avail.
As Always
B

_____________________________

new pictures!! www.ropexpert.com
also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

(in reply to Greywulf)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/18/2005 1:52:22 AM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		What? Are you serious?
B

_____________________________

new pictures!! www.ropexpert.com
also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/18/2005 5:46:54 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greywulf
As a dominant I would never scene with someone that I do not know their safe words, limits and if there are any special needs (i.e. medical limitations and so on).

Yeah but that takes 5 minutes of negotiation discussion. I play with people on a first meet all the time, that doesn't mean I'm not doing what I consider to be reasonably safe. People play in clubs for a first time a lot, auctions are regular occurences.

quote:

In addition, has safe call be tossed to the side? By this, I mean that when I meet someone new I expect them to make a check in phone call. Am I out of date or what?


For me, absolutely. While I was raised that it's good manners to let someone know where you're going, about when you will be back, and call if you're going to be very late, otherwise I'm an independent adult and if I want to go out with someone, I'm going to do it. I don't need a babysitter and if I didn't feel safe enough to meet someone without an early warning system, I just WONT meet.

(in reply to Greywulf)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/18/2005 8:45:52 AM   
cumslutcockwhore


Posts: 46
Status: offline 		I have just opened his account with CollarMe and I am appauled at the number of men who wish to own me, whore me, use me without knowing me at all and meeting NOW!

Where is their sense of responsiblity?

I believe it is a two way street.

(in reply to Greywulf)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/18/2005 8:49:53 AM   
cumslutcockwhore


Posts: 46
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

YES TIMES HAVE REALLY CHANGED AND NOW NOONE GIVES A DMAN ABOUT SAFETY. I MEAN LIKE JUST THE OTHER NITE I MET A BITCH IN A BAR IT WAS VANILA AND BEFORE THE NITE WAS THRU SHE AKSED ME TO HER PALACE. I WAS LIKE U MEAN NO SAFE CALL NO NOTHING?



If she ...a WOMAN who must have thought you totally fuckable.... knew you considered her a bitch first and formost, would she have invited you?
If she knew you would spank her, pull her hair, controll her, would she have invited you?
I doubt.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/18/2005 10:19:50 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		When he posts in all caps, I think, he is being MASTERSIRMASTERDOMLORDDUDE. Ie- the most outrageous stereotype he can think of.,

Take it with a grain of salt.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to cumslutcockwhore)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/18/2005 10:54:56 AM   
Lepidoptera


Posts: 161
Joined: 4/14/2005
Status: offline 		Luckily I have really good girlfriends who, while are not personally involved with the lifestyle, know about and accept what I'm into. I always let them know when I'm meeting someone for the first time and I always meet in a public place. It's worked out so far.

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/18/2005 3:39:46 PM   
tabbycat


Posts: 23
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline 		Not all us subs aren't worried about safty. I remember my first meeting- just for a movie, at a public mall- no play, just getting to know each other and I was totally freaking out. (To the point I was thinking of backing out) *smiles* Even with the safty things in place I know its a risk-- Never have told him how nervous I was so shhhhh don't tell. Turned out I'm glad I didn't back out.

(in reply to Lepidoptera)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/20/2005 1:24:40 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		cumslutcockwhore

quote:

and I am appauled at the number of men who wish to own me, whore me, use me without knowing me at all


Umm ever wonder just WHY you get all those emails, Your nick name has a lot to do with it. Men like the one's you're being emailed by flock to the sexually explicit names. Sex driven names or explicit names w/ill bring the creeps, the trolls, the horny, the desperat ect ect ect from the wood works.



You also state very clearly in your profile you're looking to be owned and you're a cumslut. You don't put anything else in there about expectations, and the guys flock to stuff like that. Maybe you've never thought about it before maybe it's only obvious to me.

You can't honestly be suprised at all the jerk off types who flood to words like want to be owned and cumslut.

< Message edited by FelinePersuasion -- 5/20/2005 1:28:03 AM >

(in reply to tabbycat)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/20/2005 2:12:59 AM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		perverseangelic-
Thank you for clearing that up. I was confused. It seemed too outrageous, even for a troll..
B

_____________________________

new pictures!! www.ropexpert.com
also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/20/2005 11:46:32 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		She's right, except the guy who writes in caps isn't MASTERSIRMASTERDOMLORDDUDE. He's just Dumass Dom.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzBerlin

perverseangelic-
Thank you for clearing that up. I was confused. It seemed too outrageous, even for a troll..
B

quote:

MASTERSIRMASTERDOMLORDDUDE

(in reply to MzBerlin)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/20/2005 3:00:31 PM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		lol



_____________________________

new pictures!! www.ropexpert.com
also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/20/2005 3:49:48 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		Awwww. I liked my name better ;)

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to MzBerlin)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/20/2005 10:16:47 PM   
Lepidoptera


Posts: 161
Joined: 4/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

cumslutcockwhore

quote:

and I am appauled at the number of men who wish to own me, whore me, use me without knowing me at all


Umm ever wonder just WHY you get all those emails, Your nick name has a lot to do with it. Men like the one's you're being emailed by flock to the sexually explicit names. Sex driven names or explicit names w/ill bring the creeps, the trolls, the horny, the desperat ect ect ect from the wood works.



You also state very clearly in your profile you're looking to be owned and you're a cumslut. You don't put anything else in there about expectations, and the guys flock to stuff like that. Maybe you've never thought about it before maybe it's only obvious to me.

You can't honestly be suprised at all the jerk off types who flood to words like want to be owned and cumslut.


True, but on the other hand MY nickname is from scientific nomenclature in entomology, I'm listed as a lesbian, I state that I'm not really looking for anything right now, and I STILL get those e-mails. Hmm... maybe I should crop the boob off the pic... lol.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: meeting Safty for Submissive?slave - 5/20/2005 10:46:07 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		NO WE LIKE THE BOOB PICK LEAVE IT

(in reply to Lepidoptera)
Profile   Post #: 18
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> meeting Safty for Submissive?slave Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078