Online to real time-Was it successful? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

asyouwishmaster -> Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/18/2005 6:34:48 AM)

I am curious and I thought about actually just doing a poll for this, but how many Dom/submissives have had a successful transition from online to real time? I'm curious if there are more failures than successes? I want to clarify though. I'm talking about long term online, very intense online, really getting to know someone, investing time, both online and on the phone, and then meeting. Was the click there in person that was there in cyber? And if you would, please include how much time you invested online before meeting.

Thanks for your input!



Faramir -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/18/2005 6:44:21 AM)

The psycho-sexual click, the chemistry, has always been there. I can think of one exception, where a girl told me what she thought I wanted to hear - but in every other case, if we clicked on line, we clicked in person.

Building a succesful, long term relationship that includes the whole of life, not just intimacy - that's a different story.

An example would be meeting a girl much younger than myself, totally hitting off online, and then in person - we had the best D/s week of my life. But we realized that she was at such a different life stage, still had so much exploring to do - I wasn't at that fresh out of college experiement stage. No hard feelings or anger, but we weren't in the same place to make a life together.

But we were perfect in intimacy, just as we had expected from our correspondence.



RiotGirl -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/18/2005 11:45:33 AM)

Well i have been meeting ppl off the internet since i was 16 and my running joke about it was my mothers fear of me doing so. That i'd be kidnapped and sold into the sex slavery.

In the past 9 years of doing so, the number of ppl that i "clicked" with offline has been a handful. With Doms i have found it is MUCH easier to act dominant online then offline.




ruffnecksbabygir -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/18/2005 12:50:40 PM)

i've made that transition from online to real time with three different ppl....first being my former Master, we chatted online and phone for about 3 to 4 months at the very least....the chemistry was there, the relationship lasted about a year or so....it was very strange meeting in person tho because you picture a person a certain way and even if you've seen pictures it's never the same than meeting in person.

The second was a dom friend which i had chatted over the years with, we met for some drinks only to satisfy the curiousity we had in meeting....it was pretty much the same as it was online, there wasn't much chemistry online and much less in real life.

The third, (and last : ) was meeting my Master/husband...right here on collarme actually...we chatted online and phone for i'd say a little less than a month before meeting in person....again, chemistry was there online and via phone and it was certainly there in person (and then some! lol)




sub4hire -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/18/2005 2:00:03 PM)

I'm not 100% sure I fit into your category. I did meet my dom online. However I did not meet him on a site like this. My personal opinion is an ad would not work. Just because people are usually so desperate they won't use their best judgement and problems will arise early in the relationship. Just my opinion of course.

Anyway, I met my dom in a plain old So Cal chat room. Just checking out profiles. Actually that is almost the last chat room I've ever been in.
We started talking. Clicked much faster than any of the people I ever met from ads. Those people some of them I literally talked to for 2 year's. Never clicked the way we should have.

Met him after 3 month's in a very public place. Started our vanilla relationship yet talked about our likes and dislikes within the lifestyle. Three month's later was the first time we ever played.

The rest is history. It was 6 years this past March 8th.

Never did cyber even once. Although, if seeking I do think cyber is a window into the other's soul. It could be valuable. What they say to you online in a cyber session when they are hot and bothered is their fantasy. You can pretty much tell if they are dangerous or not by their fantasies.
As far as online chats went. From the day we met until today, we do quite a bit of chatting online. The phone...well I remember having 400 a month cell bills. Thank god for the invention of the family plan.

Today, as I said we still chat online. Not nearly as much as we once did. While at work though wanting to connect. When not physically together we can still burn up phone time.

Hope this helped.





LadyAngelika -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/18/2005 3:38:31 PM)

quote:

I am curious and I thought about actually just doing a poll for this, but how many Dom/submissives have had a successful transition from online to real time? I'm curious if there are more failures than successes? I want to clarify though. I'm talking about long term online, very intense online, really getting to know someone, investing time, both online and on the phone, and then meeting. Was the click there in person that was there in cyber? And if you would, please include how much time you invested online before meeting.


I have many experiences of meeting people online but seeing as they were local to me, the relationship didn't commence online, but rather the online medium acted as a means to establish contact.

However, I did have 3 experiences where because of distance, the relationship started online. These experiences span over the last 4 years.


The first one was 2 months online, then real time but long distance for about a year and a half. It is my honest belief that had I been more honest with myself, it would have lasted a lot less time... perhaps 6 months.

The second experience was with someone I knew online for a few months, then lost touch with for almost 2 years, then met up with again, spent a few months interacting online with and then finally met. I would not say that in this case it was, ever an online relationship. It was more like online flirting with the desire to see if there was something there. We met. We had a great deal of fun but it was evident that there was no long term possibility. We are still friends today.

The third experience was with Rapier. We met online, interacted for about 4 months before we met in person. Again, we didn't have an online relationship, actually if anything it was by phone. But we did not approach this as a traditional relationship. It was more of a strong bond with a lot of passion. When we met in person, it was one of the best days of my life. He is today one of my best friends and one of the people I truly love.

Now that being said, I would not recommend long distance or online relationships to anyone. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with the model. I simply found them to be really hard on the emotions. I think till this day, what I yearn for the most is to sit with Rapier and share a bottle of wine with him while we talk and seeing his facial expression. Then again, I guess if I never gave them a try, I would have never met him.

- LA



GentleLady -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/18/2005 9:10:01 PM)

I had one on-line intense relationship that lasted two years. It included cyber, web cams, and long distance phone calls. When we finally met in person we agreed that we would play only if the chemistry was there. It was from the first moment and, because of the intensity of the on-line stuff, it felt like I was playing with someone I had known for years. The responces and reactions were identical to on-line.

What we also found out over the next few months of real time was that we were not compatible enough for a committed real time relationship. We have drifted further and further away and no longer even play.

Gentle Lady



brightspot -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/18/2005 10:07:53 PM)

I meet my Domina on-line on a more
Vanilla type site we both spoke in our Ad's
about wanting to explore the lifestyle.

We interacted on the net and phone
for about 4 months.

We are about 6 hours apart. When we met
she came
to me and stayed the week-end.
We hit it off just as well in person if not better.

We have now been in a relationship for almost
a year and a half.
We travel back and forth, this time I will spend
the summer with her.

I am excitedly looking forward to it.

*Britespot




BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/18/2005 10:50:32 PM)

I met my first sub online, and after a few emails, he happened to be visiting my area, we went out, and ended up staying together for about 4months...
Not at all a waste of time; it didn't work out for usual reasons any relationship might not=takes time to get to know someone, spend time together and get a feel for weather you meet one another's expectations and fullfill desires, but it was a good experience. M



ElektraUkM -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/21/2005 2:17:31 AM)

I met Master on a vanilla chat and cam site just over a year ago. We both clicked immediately, but because of complications in our lives, we interacted only online for a year. I'd say we fell in love and developed a deep friendship during that time. But OH was it frustrating not to be able to take it real time.

Then almost two months ago we met for the first time in real life. I flew up to meet him, staying in a separate hotel for peace of mind, but knowing that we were going to hit it off in real life too. The reality of the meeting was actually better than either of us had imagined... and we'd imagined something pretty good. haha.

Now we're in yet another getting-to-know-you stage and its all going really well. It DOES feel like it's all upside down and inside out, being as we got to know eachother in a way that isn't really natural... but somehow it's all working out.

~ Elektra



BeautifulDoll -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/21/2005 2:38:57 AM)

i met my Master online through collarme actually and i moved in with him about a month ago this coming Monday. It has been the best decision i have ever made in my life. i love him so much and i know he loves me. i could not imagine being without him now. we first met on here and we started talking and that led into phone calls that lasted for no less then two hours, then we were also talking online at the time. i have never met anyone that has made me feel the way my Master does. yes online to real time definitely can and does work you just have to be careful that you do not meet or find someone who is psycho or only here for play and not serious about the lifestyle.



perverseangelic -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/21/2005 9:56:16 AM)

I dont' quite know if I fit in your category, but the trasition for me went well.

I never served anyone online. I didn't quite get how I could do that, as I've never had, nor will ever have a webcam. I was...mentored...I guess you could say, but someone online, who rather showed me the ropes, and pointed me in the dirrection of resources. It took me several years to move from online to realtime, because I was underage, and not a big fan of getting people arrested.

Still, I learned a lot online, because that was the only avenue open to me.

When I met partners my age, I found it easy to begin with them because I knew where I stood, and had read a lot and had an idea of what I was interested in.

I have yet to meet a partner online, however.



FangsNfeet -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/21/2005 10:15:16 AM)

Well that depends on what your deffiniton of an On Line Relationship.

Never have I called someone that I was spending time with on line my Submissive or one in a relationship with me. Sure there was flirting and chit chat about meeting and perhaps some discussion over the phone but I wouldn't consider a relationship real untill after we started physically meeting each other.

Anyhow. Pet and I meet each other here on Collarme.com We started out with a few messages, then Yahoo IM, a couple of phone calls, and after that we finnally meet and ended up being a couple.

As for all the other prospectives that I was chatting with, perhaps we would have meet or they where going to stand me up being a fake. Who knows. I just know that it's great that I have the real thing with me now in the flesh.



Lepidoptera -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/21/2005 11:15:29 AM)

I've had one complete success and one complete failure, so I say...


eh.



allyC -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/21/2005 5:08:02 PM)

When I first started using the internet (about 11 or 12 years ago) I used AOL as a service provider. For about 4 years or so, when I did go online, I spent a lot of time in poetry rooms, running workshops and participating in poetry slams and such. I also spent some time doing some online RP (not adult roleplay but more like D&D with characters, dice rolls, etc.) I had never even ventured into any lifestyle areas but one of my characters became enslaved (as a djinni) to a megalomaniac type of character. It certainly lit a spark.

I was ending a a marriage that happened for all of the wrong reasons and through everything, I began to recognize my need to submit but I sort of shoved it aside, thinking I was a bit nutty. *grin* I started noticing chatrooms that discussed things like dominance and submission but didn't want to venture inside. I was very curious about this raging need so I thought that perhaps by searching aol profiles, I might find someone with some knowledge about that kind of stuff so I began rifling through AOL profiles using keywords like master and slave, etc..

They all seemed like troll bait, saying stuff like, "I'll make u kneel u r mine" etc. and after hundreds of profiles I had just about given up when I saw the profile of a man who seemed very serious about dominance and submission. He seemed intelligent and humorous and very down to earth. The little red arrow told me that he was online so holding my breath, I sent him a message. I was delighted to find that he was just like his profile indicated. We continued to speak for several days and in time, he took on the role of mentor to me - always maintaining the upper hand.

8 months and thousands of dollars in phone bills later, we met for the fist time. Our relationship had evolved quickly and passionately into something that still amazes and astounds me. What we had was more real than anything I had ever experienced. While we did interact online, I didn't have a webcam and most of our time was spent on the phone. (I think Sprint acquired several new buildings and company jets as a result of all of our phone time. *grin*)

The chemistry between us was not as good as it had been at a distance - it was better. :) It far surpassed what I had ever thought possible. The many months that we had spent engaging in pure communication had ensured us that we had common principles, ideals, and beliefs. While there were some differences, they were small and added more spice and diversity to our interaction rather than obstacles and I had faith and trust that his decisions and judgements would be sound and wise.

I moved 2000 miles to live beneath his roof (and beneath his hand) and now, after 7 years of being together and progressing on the bumpy path of internal enslavement, I can honestly say that this is the most fulfilling and incredible relationship I have ever known...

...and it all started with one little message on the fiberoptic freeway. :)

Cav's girl
ally{C}







BeautifulDoll -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/21/2005 7:51:12 PM)


i also drove 2000 miles to be with my Master. What a coincedence. we have not been together that long but hope that we are as long as the relationship keeps going the way it is i am sure we will reach that marker too. Congradulations on your relationship as well.






stormsfate -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/21/2005 8:11:56 PM)

I also met my owner online. It wasn't in a lifestyle chat room, but rather in the "hallway" on IRC (neither of us was in a channel...go figure). About two weeks after we began chatting online and the daily emails, etc., we began speaking on the telephone (I have to say that he did all of the talking in that first conversation...six hours of me not being able to do much more than clear my throat because I was so nervous), and shortly after that we met in person and began spending every weekend together, and as allyC said...it was even better in person. About two months after that I was informed that if I didn't present myself by a certain day that he was coming to get me (shivers <g>) (We can certainly relate to the thousands of dollars in phone bills, too...it was much cheaper for me to move in!). A lot left out of this telling (like him meeting my leather family before meeting me, and the Spanish Inquisition), but I'm trying to give the short version. That was a little over nine years ago.

We also met vision online, and very shortly after began speaking on the telephone. About two months later, we met in person and it was just so right. That was almost nine months ago.

In both of these cases, the click was most definately there from the beginning and only grew stronger as time passed. I've noticed that even when there seems to be a click online and on the phone, if there are red flags (i.e. someone wanting to move too fast, or presuming a relationship that hasn't yet developed, etc.) it never works out (this is just our experience).

best regards,
fate




junecleaver -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/22/2005 12:11:28 AM)

He drove 13 hours to see me.

I just didn't like him. I can't even explain what was different about him from the phone/internet to RL. There was just no clicking whatsoever.



ginger21 -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/23/2005 10:38:14 AM)

I did...we didn't do the whole online domination thing, we just met on the net, exchange emails, then phone numbers then met. It took about a year for me to really come around (long story), but am I ever glad I did.

And things are going wonderfully. ^_^




fourpeas -> RE: Online to real time-Was it successful? (5/24/2005 9:04:24 PM)

Thank you for your post AllyC. I am encouraged by what you say about common values and principles. It is interesting to hear what everyone has to say. In the middle of June I will have an addition to this chat thread. *winks*



Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.078125