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CreativeDominant -> RE: what to do?? (10/4/2007 2:01:33 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stateira
My Master and I had an argument...something small and really nothing to be very upset about in my opinion. However, my opinion doesn't matter. He got upset and has been upset with me since this afternoon. The argument was both of our faults but I have taken responsibility and apologized several times. I even went out and bought him a CD he's been wanting for a really long time. He won't accept my apologies though, and I don't know what else to do. I asked him what else he wanted me to do and he wouldn't answer me. What else can I do to help him forgive me?
How about not pushing him to do so?
You have a right to your opinion about how important the topic that the two of you disagreed upon is. But since there are two of you involved in the argument, he also has the right to have his opinion of how important the topic is and that opinion may not coincide with yours. Depending on your dynamic, it is most likely going to be his opinion that counts for most and I think you already knew that when you sought to apologize. But knowing that, as the dominant/Master, his opinion is what counts for the most in the relationship...and believing that and acting upon that belief...are different things.
You point up that the argument was both your fault. In most cases, I agree with the viewpoint that it takes two to tango. That being said, let's face it...if a submissive does something that the dominant finds displeasing (and has expressed his displeasure over said behavior before) and he expresses his displeasure and the submissive chooses to argue the point, then who really is at fault? The submissive...because she argued a point that she knew the dominant was right about? The dominant for "daring" to speak up about behavior that he found displeasing rather than just letting it go? Or both, for their own reasons of fault?
Too many variables.
You also state that though the argument was both your fault (though that has yet to be proven, given we don't know what the argument was about), YOU took responsibility and apologized. Depending on your dynamic, that could well be what is expected of you and you are doing no more than fulfilling your obligation. As stated by others, he may feel that your apology is insincere and given your expressed belief that the argument was one in which you both were equally at fault, he may be right. YOU went out and bought him a CD. YOU apologized several times. It almost sounds as if you are trying to convince us that you have been such a total good girl in your response to the argument. But, given that you are the slave (and the title of slave or submissive here really does not matter in this instance except to point out your station), it smacks of an attempt at manipulating your dominant/Master to do things in YOUR way, on YOUR schedule, because you want to feel better and "get past it". I can't help but wonder if the push to do things on YOUR schedule is because there is a part of you inside that is just dying to hear his apology AND if bringing this to the board and presenting it in the fashion you did is an attempt to elucidate comments from others that agree with your...granted, unstated...belief that he should do just that AND apologize. Yet, as I said...we don't know yet what his feelings are or whether or not he DOES owe you an apology.
Sorry if this offends you but you came here looking for answers...some of them are not going to agree with your viewpoint.
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