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AAkasha -> RE: Explaining submissiveness to your partner (5/19/2005 11:03:06 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lapdog41
Hello All,
Hope i'm not posting this in the wrong place but have you any suggestions as to how I can explain to my partner that i want to live the lifestyle not 'role play' - my partner is very turned on by being the Domme but only in the bedroom as it were...
I'd dearly love her to understand that it would be a dream come true if She would make it 24/7
Grateful for any advice.
lapdog
You have to clarify what "lifestyle" means for you, and also understand that what you are asking for is a tall order.
Dominance takes emotional, mental and physical energy. You might only be seeing the physical energy. But it is a mindset and it isn't easy to maintain at levels that some submissives want. If you have managed to get your wife interested in play in the bedroom (ie, you initiated it and she did not) and she is flourishing, I don't think you want to risk losing that by asking for more. That's one thing vanilla women fear a lot about getting into bdsm with their partners -- "what if he starts to want it all the time? what if our relationship becomes lost in this? what if the kink is more important than me?"
You risk burnout and resentment if you move her in a direction that does not allow her to feel playful and in control. So much of the success and harmony of a femdom relationship relies on the woman feeling comfortable and confident.
So, you first need to clarify what your expectations are exactly. Keep in mind that if you want her to just keep you under her thumb 24/7, you are STILL expecting her to be in the femdom *mindset* and that's a lot to ask, unless she's game for it.
And, be extra careful especially if you were the one that got her into femdom. She might like it in the bedroom, but the idea of doing it all the time may come across as you being ungrateful or demanding. Communicate honestly and sincerely.
Akasha
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