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Family - 5/19/2005 4:13:36 PM   
SweetBloodberry


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/17/2005
Status: offline 		A question for 24/7 slaves: if you have/had any strong connection to your family before being collared, how do you relate to them now? I would want to be a 24/7 slave, but my family are so hopeful to see me go through university and start my own career, and I don't want to disappoint them. If, when the time comes, my desire to be with a Master/Mistress is strong, I would consider giving up my career for Him/Her if that ends up being what is wanted of me. But how would I explain this sudden "loss of motivation" to my parents, who love me so much and would be very disappointed to hear that I'm supposedly not doing anything with my life?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Family - 5/19/2005 4:54:40 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I am closer to my family now than I was before I was with the Owner, I've moved closer to them, spend more time with them and feel much more responsible towards them. He encourages me to be with them and have close ties to them.

The fact is that YOU are the person living YOUR life, whichever way you go.

How to explain it to your family? Well hopefully your family likes and respects your owner too and you can tell them that you feel this is the best place for you to be right now and you can always go back to school later. Ultimately, they need to support you making the best choice for your life.

Very few dominants tell their slaves to dislodge their careers and schooling, but it is possible. DIscuss it with someone before you commit to them, how would THEY handle it?

(in reply to SweetBloodberry)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Family - 5/19/2005 6:51:04 PM   
daisyrocket


Posts: 17
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline 		Why would you have to give up your career? I haven't. And I don't plan to. Sir prefers me to be independent. Not to mention that having to be "the leader" when it comes to work and being a mother, he says it makes my slavery and submission to him that much more enjoyable for both of us.

I'm sorry, I just don't see the problem here. You don't have to give up your career, therefore, don't have to worry about telling your family anything.

(in reply to SweetBloodberry)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Family - 5/19/2005 8:12:59 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Some doms DO want their slaves to live in the house only, or to choose another career, or to move away with them.

Why? Well that depends on each relationship but to me it's not really relevant.

(in reply to daisyrocket)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Family - 5/19/2005 10:32:50 PM   
daisyrocket


Posts: 17
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, I'm well aware of that. However it would seem that she doesn't have any one particular person in mind as yet.. so she is still free to say she doesn't want to be with someone that will make her quit her job. Find one that is secure enough in himself to let you have a life outside of the house, which will in turn, keep you on the path to being a better more productive person with some self confidence.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Family - 5/19/2005 10:57:55 PM   
SweetBloodberry


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket

Yes, I'm well aware of that. However it would seem that she doesn't have any one particular person in mind as yet.. so she is still free to say she doesn't want to be with someone that will make her quit her job. Find one that is secure enough in himself to let you have a life outside of the house, which will in turn, keep you on the path to being a better more productive person with some self confidence.

Ah, maybe I'm just perceiving there to be more Masters who wish their slaves to stay at home than there truly are, then. And there's this irrational part of me that keeps nagging that if I'm not willing to give up everything, including finances and career, then I'm not going to be a true slave if I get to that point. I know it's probably not true (though I guess by some people's definition, it would be), just a worry that keeps popping up in my head whether I want it to or not. >>;;

(in reply to daisyrocket)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Family - 5/19/2005 11:46:35 PM   
darksparkle


Posts: 48
Joined: 1/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetBloodberry

quote:

ORIGINAL: daisyrocket

Yes, I'm well aware of that. However it would seem that she doesn't have any one particular person in mind as yet.. so she is still free to say she doesn't want to be with someone that will make her quit her job. Find one that is secure enough in himself to let you have a life outside of the house, which will in turn, keep you on the path to being a better more productive person with some self confidence.


Ah, maybe I'm just perceiving there to be more Masters who wish their slaves to stay at home than there truly are, then. And there's this irrational part of me that keeps nagging that if I'm not willing to give up everything, including finances and career, then I'm not going to be a true slave if I get to that point. I know it's probably not true (though I guess by some people's definition, it would be), just a worry that keeps popping up in my head whether I want it to or not. >>;;

daisyrocket, I whole heatedly agree with your line of thought.

Besides she is only 18 and just beginning her journey into this new found lifestyle, not to mention adulthood.

In most cases it takes many relationships to find the right fit. It would be quite tragic to have given up all you career goals/employment at ones request only to discover down the road that things did not work out. No relationship it guaranteed to last a lifetime.

It's always wise to have something to be able to fall back on with the chance things don't work out relationship wise.

Each relationship is unique unto itself. Whether you are a stay at home type or one with a career it does not make you any less nor any more of a "twue" slave.

I know of slaves that are lawyers, healthcare providers, business owners so on & so forth. And yet they have a very successful D/s relationship as well....

Compatibility is very important, & it is wise to find a S/O with similar viewpoints regarding the overall relationship dynamic.


_____________________________

He reaches down & his fingers caress my cheek. Lifting my chin, his intense gaze holds me as he tells me to dance in the way that we choose to live. "Dance for me, my little sparkle, dance to the beat of a different drummer."....

(in reply to SweetBloodberry)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Family - 5/20/2005 4:59:23 AM   
cellogrrlMK


Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetBloodberry

And there's this irrational part of me that keeps nagging that if I'm not willing to give up everything, including finances and career, then I'm not going to be a true slave if I get to that point. I know it's probably not true (though I guess by some people's definition, it would be), just a worry that keeps popping up in my head whether I want it to or not. >>;;


Yes SweetBloodberry, it's irrational (you KNOW that's a wink I hope, before anyone flames me, sheesh!). Don't worry about other people's definition of you.

There was another thread where working outside the home was discussed and a couple of Doms made their thoughts pretty clear on the matter, as did some of the subs . You have to do what feels right for you and if a Dom insists you do the opposite, well, I'd think twice about becoming involved with him.

Happily working outside the home,

cello


< Message edited by cellogrrlMK -- 5/20/2005 5:01:48 AM >

(in reply to SweetBloodberry)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Family - 5/20/2005 6:01:00 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		The problem most people get into when they are new is that they get overwhelmed by this idea that the master can do "anything" he wants. This both terrifies and excites the submissive.

Anything? Meaning I will be totally his and utterly owned and protected and secure?

Anything? Meaning I will be totally vulnerable and at the ready for his desires?

Anything? Meaning I won't be able to have children?

Anything? Meaning I won't be able to talk to males?

Ms is as varied as you can imagine. What you need to do is figure out YOUR issues, figure out what you can and cannot do at this point in your life, and find someone compatible.

There are masters out there who don't want their slaves to work, there are ones who do.

There are masters out there who don't want their slaves to have children, there are ones who do.

Etc etc etc.

Understand what HE means by "anything" and whether that works for you.

(in reply to cellogrrlMK)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Family - 5/20/2005 7:56:26 AM   
darksparkle


Posts: 48
Joined: 1/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

The problem most people get into when they are new is that they get overwhelmed by this idea that the master can do "anything" he wants. This both terrifies and excites the submissive.

Anything? Meaning I will be totally his and utterly owned and protected and secure?

Anything? Meaning I will be totally vulnerable and at the ready for his desires?

Anything? Meaning I won't be able to have children?

Anything? Meaning I won't be able to talk to males?

Ms is as varied as you can imagine. What you need to do is figure out YOUR issues, figure out what you can and cannot do at this point in your life, and find someone compatible.
There are masters out there who don't want their slaves to work, there are ones who do.

There are masters out there who don't want their slaves to have children, there are ones who do.

Etc etc etc.

Understand what HE means by "anything" and whether that works for you.

EmeraldSlave hit it right on the head, good words of wisdom here!

_____________________________

He reaches down & his fingers caress my cheek. Lifting my chin, his intense gaze holds me as he tells me to dance in the way that we choose to live. "Dance for me, my little sparkle, dance to the beat of a different drummer."....

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Family - 5/20/2005 5:48:35 PM   
SweetBloodberry


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

The problem most people get into when they are new is that they get overwhelmed by this idea that the master can do "anything" he wants. This both terrifies and excites the submissive.

Anything? Meaning I will be totally his and utterly owned and protected and secure?

Anything? Meaning I will be totally vulnerable and at the ready for his desires?

Anything? Meaning I won't be able to have children?

Anything? Meaning I won't be able to talk to males?

Ms is as varied as you can imagine. What you need to do is figure out YOUR issues, figure out what you can and cannot do at this point in your life, and find someone compatible.

There are masters out there who don't want their slaves to work, there are ones who do.

There are masters out there who don't want their slaves to have children, there are ones who do.

Etc etc etc.

Understand what HE means by "anything" and whether that works for you.

Thank you. I'm glad to hear that my fears are not confirmed. :) Now that you mention the children thing as well, that'll be another thing to ask a potential Master, then. I'm still not sure if I want kids, but if I made a decision, I suppose now I know I can tell Him before starting that I don't want to be forced to have or not have them. ^^

I do like the idea of "submission in stages" that I've seen around, though. Starting with a certain degree of freedoms with a Master (like having my career, friends, heavier veto power over certain jobs and/or sex acts), and then as I get used to living like that, gradually having the freedoms taken away so that I ease into it. I could probably handle that, I think, just not having it all gone all at once.

< Message edited by SweetBloodberry -- 5/20/2005 5:58:28 PM >

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Family - 5/20/2005 9:55:49 PM   
Lepidoptera


Posts: 161
Joined: 4/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetBloodberry

A question for 24/7 slaves: if you have/had any strong connection to your family before being collared, how do you relate to them now? I would want to be a 24/7 slave, but my family are so hopeful to see me go through university and start my own career, and I don't want to disappoint them. If, when the time comes, my desire to be with a Master/Mistress is strong, I would consider giving up my career for Him/Her if that ends up being what is wanted of me. But how would I explain this sudden "loss of motivation" to my parents, who love me so much and would be very disappointed to hear that I'm supposedly not doing anything with my life?


I've had the same problem. I did a year at a university, and then I moved in with my Master and Mistress... and now I'm going back to the university.

My advice? Try to stick it out. It might not work out, and your family might not support you, and then you're sunk... no home, no degree. Once you have a degree, then you can do whatever you want because you always have that degree to fall back on should you need a way to support yourself.

Of course, if you decide not to go to school- all the best to you. I had a wonderful experience and I don't regret it, but I'm really glad that my parents were willing to take me back and send me back to school.

(in reply to SweetBloodberry)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Family - 5/20/2005 10:09:03 PM   
SweetBloodberry


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lepidoptera

I've had the same problem. I did a year at a university, and then I moved in with my Master and Mistress... and now I'm going back to the university.

My advice? Try to stick it out. It might not work out, and your family might not support you, and then you're sunk... no home, no degree. Once you have a degree, then you can do whatever you want because you always have that degree to fall back on should you need a way to support yourself.

Of course, if you decide not to go to school- all the best to you. I had a wonderful experience and I don't regret it, but I'm really glad that my parents were willing to take me back and send me back to school.

Oh I'm definitely finishing school at least first, before moving in with a Master and/or Mistress (unless said Master/Mistress happens to live in my area and would still want me to be in school). I'd be too uptight to not have at least a degree to fall back on. It's just afterward I was worried about.

Anyway, best of luck to you in university! *sends virtual care package your way*

(in reply to Lepidoptera)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Family - 5/20/2005 10:19:17 PM   
Lepidoptera


Posts: 161
Joined: 4/14/2005
Status: offline 		*receives virtual care package*

Ooooh porn....

hehe thanks : ).

(in reply to SweetBloodberry)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Family - 5/21/2005 8:08:25 AM   
Domcat


Posts: 14
Joined: 5/13/2005
Status: offline 		When I came into this lifestyle I decided than My family would come first before anything. It's that way in My vanilla life as well as here and that will never change. Never put anyone or anything before family!

(in reply to SweetBloodberry)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Family - 5/21/2005 7:19:31 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Some doms DO want their slaves to live in the house only, or to choose another career, or to move away with them.


True, but if you want a career. Then those doms are not the one for you. Pass them up and find someone compatible for you.


(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 16
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