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Safety for Dominants? - 5/20/2005 4:45:11 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		After reading about safety for subs/slaves (i am going to use female subs/slaves in the equation and male Dominants just for my thought this morning) in the other forum..it got me to thinking (bear with me, i have NOT had adequate enough coffee yet *chucklez*) Why is there just a safety issue for subs/slaves when meeting for the first time? Has anyone every thought about safe calls/check-ins/something! for Dominants? How do y'all know that as a woman i am not going to hurt YOU???

This topic came up in a kidding manner when i met Thorns years ago...i carry Knives...lots of them....i am trained well in self-defense....i can also inflict a whole lot of pain to a person and take them down if need be. At the time...Thornsz (<-- spelling correct Sir! *grinz*) comment was: "you have a safe call in place...what about Me!!!! *chucklez*)

On a serious note here....honestly...what about you Dominants? what do y'all think about this? any comments? we hear all the time unfortunately about subs/slaves meeting and it ending up disastrous....there are also some really crazy ass women out there too. This is just a rambling thought first thing in the morning....just curious.

I need so much more coffee...*laughs*....happy friday y'all!!

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

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Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Safety for Dominants? - 5/20/2005 5:01:46 AM   
Paulnz


Posts: 411
Status: offline 		If meeting someone for the first time, I will have a safe call arranged, and I also let others know where I'm going and who I'm meeting.

The other rule I have is I never play when first meeting.

Even if I know the person through mutual friends, I'll still follow my own procedures.

(in reply to smilezz)
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RE: Safety for Dominants? - 5/20/2005 6:02:47 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		*sniffle* Cuz we're precious delicate flowers who need protection and rescuing.

(in reply to Paulnz)
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RE: Safety for Dominants? - 5/20/2005 6:17:04 AM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

*sniffle* Cuz we're precious delicate flowers who need protection and rescuing.


Heh...obviously, you have never met smilezz.

To answer the question, I travel armed and know how to defend myself. So far...so good.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
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RE: Safety for Dominants? - 5/20/2005 7:09:11 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

This topic came up in a kidding manner when i met Thorns years ago...i carry Knives...lots of them....i am trained well in self-defense....i can also inflict a whole lot of pain to a person and take them down if need be. At the time...Thornsz (<-- spelling correct Sir! *grinz*) comment was: "you have a safe call in place...what about Me!!!! *chucklez*)

On a serious note here....honestly...what about you Dominants? what do y'all think about this? any comments? we hear all the time unfortunately about subs/slaves meeting and it ending up disastrous....there are also some really crazy ass women out there too. This is just a rambling thought first thing in the morning....just curious.


I had to laugh when I read your post smilezz. I too am a woman who is quite capable of taking care of herself when need be, moreso than I dare say the majority of the female population. I have had training and have had the opportunity to use that training in both competition and real world situations. Not to mention that I am a full blooded Irish woman whose flight part of the fight or flight response seems to be "Out of Order". That being said though, bad things can still happen to people, regardless of their physical strength or level of preparedness. I believe that male Dominants should take the same precautions as women in regards to safety.

The worst mistake anyone can ever make is to evaluate someone based solely on their physical package. When my son was small he was enrolled in martial arts training. There came an opportunity for me to attend one of his instructors professional fights. Now this man was a 7 time World Kickboxing Champion. He stood about 5ft 5 in and weighed about 130 lbs soaking wet. He did not look like he could fight his way out of a wet paper bag. His opponent was over 6ft and 250 lbs os solid rippling muscle. It was one of the most intense fights I have ever witnessed. My son's instructor came out the victor.

I think we talk about the safety issue involving female subs and slaves more often because history has proven that women are victims at a much higher rate than men. That should not be reason though for anyone, male or female, to disregard safety basics.

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 5/20/2005 7:11:05 AM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to smilezz)
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RE: Safety for Dominants? - 5/20/2005 9:55:00 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I don't feel there should be a difference. A dom whether male or female should also have some sort of safety plan as well.
I also carry around knives..not lots but usually have 3 on me at at time. Not for self defense per say. Don't know if I would use them if I needed to. I could probably do more damage without a knife.
There have been many cases where dominants get hurt on first meetings as well. I guess people just assume dominants are supposed to be strong people.
Go to a munch....it will kill all predispositions.

(in reply to smilezz)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Safety for Dominants? - 5/20/2005 10:10:57 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire
I guess people just assume dominants are supposed to be strong people.
Go to a munch....it will kill all predispositions.

ROFL- flashing images of past munches in my mind.

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Safety for Dominants? - 5/20/2005 10:37:04 AM   
Kiaban


Posts: 124
Joined: 7/11/2004
Status: offline 		Call me sexist, over-confident or whatever but I suppose the first time I feel I need to make a safe call while meeting a girl , its probably time to hang up my shackles.
[let the flames begin]

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
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RE: Safety for Dominants? - 5/20/2005 10:41:34 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Well they'd have to call me that too (and they do, over-confident at least).

(in reply to Kiaban)
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RE: Safety for Dominants? - 5/20/2005 11:21:27 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Call me sexist, over-confident or whatever but I suppose the first time I feel I need to make a safe call while meeting a girl , its probably time to hang up my shackles.


That's your prerogative, also your funeral. To each their own.

(in reply to Kiaban)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Safety for Dominants? - 5/20/2005 11:28:22 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		If I've talked to someone on the internet, have an archive of the conversations on my computer, also have a picture of that person on my computer (I won't meet anyone without a picture first), and also know that person's cell-phone number, then if that person tries to harm my life, she is (or they are, if it's a couple) going to be in some deep shit afterwards.

What I've encountered more than physical threats to my life are semi-sane semi-insane people who don't know what constitutes stalking and harassment. To scare off those people, I make it clear the first time I meet someone that if they end up harassing me, I'll just call the police.

Lam

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 5/20/2005 11:29:53 AM >

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Safety for Dominants? - 5/20/2005 1:47:21 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		I have one question for all you strapped, locked and loaded, warriors from Valhalla.

Ever heard of being slipped a mickey?

Big, strong trained, badest ass in the world can wake up shackeled to a bed, and all that training, weapons, and such will have done you no good.

Just something to consider before you pound your chests.

In Leather

Archer

(in reply to smilezz)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Safety for Dominants? - 5/20/2005 2:22:31 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Ever heard of being slipped a mickey?

Big, strong trained, badest ass in the world can wake up shackeled to a bed, and all that training, weapons, and such will have done you no good.

Just something to consider before you pound your chests.


Actually, I think I already said that.

quote:

That being said though, bad things can still happen to people, regardless of their physical strength or level of preparedness.


_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Safety for Dominants? - 5/20/2005 4:44:33 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I have one question for all you strapped, locked and loaded, warriors from Valhalla.

Ever heard of being slipped a mickey?

Big, strong trained, badest ass in the world can wake up shackeled to a bed, and all that training, weapons, and such will have done you no good.

Just something to consider before you pound your chests.


Damn... this falls into one of my fantasies! But usually I don't have to slip them a mickey. I just have to wink!

In all honesty, I'm a pretty tough cookie. I have some physical strength and a whole lot of mental strength. I have however found myself in situations where I wish I would have been a bit more scrupulous. Some Dommes have had subs turn on them and that is no picnic. Luckily I've managed to keep the situations I was in relatively low damage.

I wanted to add a link to this story that Lawrence shared on the boards a while back. Makes you think twice.

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 5/20/2005 4:51:41 PM >

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Archer)
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RE: Safety for Dominants? - 5/20/2005 6:38:01 PM   
MsSilvie


Posts: 248
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline 		I don't precisely have a safecall system in place, but all the information I have regarding who I am playing with is out there if I turn up missing. I tend to think I have pretty good "radar" for a potential problem situation. Most people do, if they pay attention to the signals they are getting. But I also remind myself that a person needs to be really, REALLY wrong only once.

I took a self defense class in the past. It was excellent, something that I recommend for anyone, regardless of your lifestyle. It may have been in part due to an exemplary instructor, but I got insight from that class that I STILL use.

(in reply to smilezz)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Safety for Dominants? - 5/20/2005 9:11:14 PM   
Paulnz


Posts: 411
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

Ever heard of being slipped a mickey?



Yes and that's why I get all drinks, making sure the drink for me goes straight from the bartender to my hand, and I never let it out of my sight. If I leave the drink for whatever reason - time for another one.

Safe calls - better to have a set time when you will ring. If you don't call then alarm bells go off.

Safety for me is also about not wanting to be around someone I don't like. When it comes to physical safety I can pretty much handle myself. A lot of procedures operate as road blocks to uncomfortable situations, without keeping the welcome away.








< Message edited by Paulnz -- 5/20/2005 9:12:20 PM >

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Safety for Dominants? - 7/5/2005 9:37:51 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		Good thoughts...

Yes this has crossed My mind many times..have had some close calls also.

Had one time it was like Fatal Attraction but without the knife....almost had a restraining order taken out...

Then there are the drunks that show up at 3 am banging on the door

and the ones that have their dom hiding in the bushes when it supposedly is just one on one...run your borrowed car license plates..yes always borrow a car..that way when they try stalking it dead ends..same for cell phones...hehehehe

Yes it takes all sorts...very leary about meeting sometimes..if My spidey senses tingle ..I get the heck out of dodge.. :)

Never know what may happen......

(in reply to Paulnz)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Safety for Dominants? - 7/5/2005 10:26:52 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline 		I just laugh when I hear all this tuff-girl shit. Women can't physically fight men - period. Black belt this, take care of myself that, blah blah blah. I have served with some sister officers who had my respect as warriors, but none of them had any illusions about their physical, individual prowess. Their warrior qualities were mental and moral - they were leaders of Marines and that made them dangerous.

Course, the best shot I know in the whole world was a female DI.

Anyway, but - I've never felt threatened on a date. I mean, I've met some kooky chicks - but they were "not so functional in intimacy" kinda kooky, not hit me in the head with a shovel kooky.

Who you guys meeting?

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Safety for Dominants? - 7/5/2005 10:39:24 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Y'all may have guessed by now that I have a low opinion of humanity, but now and then I see ignorance that just takes my breath away.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

Women can't physically fight men - period.


(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Safety for Dominants? - 7/5/2005 11:54:24 PM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline 		My typical response: for first time encounters, play in public around people who know you. Not only does it protect from physical threats, but also in subsequent he said-she said legal battles.

Of course, this option is only available to us crazy exhibitionists...

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to smilezz)
Profile   Post #: 20
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