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Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 7:58:02 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Here is a letter of introduction I wrote. Would you please give me feedback on it? I will also post the response I got and the response I then sent!

Thanks!

Cheers,

Sea

The letter begins:

Hello Your Excellenty Highness Mistress!!!

Your profile causes me to instananiously drop to my knees and bow before your greatness! I am not worthy to write to even write to you. And so I am full of that much....gratitude that you are allowing me to write to you! I do have your permission to write, right? If not, may this humble slave have permission to write to you???

Mistress, your profile is the best I have ever read! I am not one to write form letters. You can see by my words and admiration that I must have read your profile. I am in love with the font you have used! It was very much a delight to read. In fact, I am going to go back and read it once more! I have already read it 15 times. No wait, 16! Yes, and now it will be 17! LOL! ROFL!

Some people think LOL is overused. But not here. I am always LOLing when I type. I am a very happy LOLing type of person. Furthermore, I am good enough, I am smart enough, and so people like me! Sometimes when I go to the bar, women don't immediately welcome me. I think it is because they are nervus. Because when I ask the waitress to send them a few drinks, they begin to smile every now and then. And if they are with a friend, they sometimes even laugh after waiving at me. It is obvious that they are now happy and that they begin to loosen up with me! Unfortunately, the bar is only open so long. If I had a few more hours, I am sure I could like get to know their name or something.

I am very experienced in BDSM. I know more than anyone else I have met. Well. Except you, Mistress! And that's good because I know enough to be able to tell a Mistress what I like done to me! I don't like to waste their time beating around the bush! LOL! ROFL!

I own a Ferrari! I own one that is black, and one that is red, and one that is blue. When I take you to dinner, I would love to drive you in the Ferrari. However, it is in the shop right now. All three of them. They are gettign a tune up but it takes several weeks to tune a car like a Ferrari. So I may not have it when you first meet me.

You must be wondering why such a wonderful guy like me is looking. I am wondering the same. LOL! ROFL! The truth is that I had wonderful Mistress and she had to move and so now I am alone :( I am very lonely. I know you must be feeling sorry for me and lots of sympathy. Please. No need.

I would send you a picture but I have a very high profile job and I must be careful to send anything on this site. And plus, my camera broke. I have ordered a new one but it was on back order and they tell me it will be a few more weeks. Those slackers! LOL! ROFL!

Mistress, I have no limits. I will do anything. I am a very good slave. The best!

With unworthy regards,

slave
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 8:03:25 PM   
LaMistressa


Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline 		Hahahaha, you're a lolsub!

Funny stuff.

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 8:08:22 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		Come to me now, Sea.  I want you.  That was the most beautiful sincere letter I have ever read.  I must have you.  I must have you now. 

PS.  I have feet.

(you crack me up)

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 8:08:46 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Tooo funny....but it's only funny cause it's sooo sadly true...I get these all the time..but the ones who find me have Astin Martins



_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to LaMistressa)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 8:10:13 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		LOL!

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 8:10:16 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		Sea
Where do you find the time, honestly?
It was painful to read...and hit far too close to home.

~E

_____________________________

'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 8:23:58 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline


Word to the wise, underground (or is that ground-under?) An earnest, open-hearted guy like you should beware of Dommes who make grandiose claims like:

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

...  I have feet.


(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 8:30:00 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		My letter rocks! This is the reply I got!

Lowly and unworthy piece of rubbish:

Yuck! My stumach turns upon addrresing you. How dare you not capitalize upon the proper words when you address Me? Do you no who I am? No king or queen could ever dream to even have the might and status I have. I have subs wanting Me left and right and boy does that make Me mighty. Not only shall you capitalize the letters when you adress Me, you shall also put them in bold. Ok, I am tired of the caps and being bold text thing. My time it too precious for me to spend it in that manner. From hencehereon, I will no longer capitalize the letters when I refer to myself. Upon receipt of my letter, you are to edit it to capitalize and use boldface text aprropriatly. You will then send it back to me. I will then send it to you. If I want to that is. I might just let it sit in mailbox just because I can. If that is the case, you are to write again. Perhaps I will think you are being persistent and dutiful. Perhaps I will think you are being pushy. Whatever my mood says that day.

In another email, I will send you a list of things I want you to do. Now they will not be easy. But I must have you do them to prove your sincerity. It is a test. So forget that I just told you that it is a test because I want to see if you will pass the test. And if you don't pass the test, I will tell you it is a test of obedience so that then I can get you to do things that I want. Maybe after that I will dimiss you for not doing them immediately. I know by then you will have already have failed the test. But damit, I first want those things done regardless of whether I have interest in you or not! If you are a true sub, you will have no boundaries and will find nothing but pleasure to do anything I ask you to do. Don't even dare wonder about my sincerity. Just as every sub is insincere, every dominant is sincere. Those are the rules of nature. Are you questioning nature, slave? Slap yourself on your face 50 times right now! I want you to suffer in case even such a thought remotely entered your mind! I practice preventative discipline. And then send me photos so I can see proof!

You may worship my photos. I know there is a watermark of Russian Femdom on them. I went to visit Russia for one week and these group of men approached me immediately as I deplaned and begged me to model for their site. Yes, I am a model. In Russia. Just for that honor of talking to a model, I am going to add a few more things to the list of things I want you to do for me. Do you know how to get the watermark off a photo? I do not wish to brag that I am a model and so I would like to get that watermark off my photo.

I know I have no other information on my profile. It is not necessary. All you need to know is that I am a domme. Even the photo is a luxury for you.

You may thank me for this response.

With Little Regard,

Gradiose Mistress of USA

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 5/28/2007 9:06:50 PM >

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 8:34:55 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		This ranks up on your top 4 posts, Sea.
Noah:  Shhhhhhh...don't give away those secrets.  I want a ride in the Ferrari.  I DO have feet.  I do I do.



_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 8:36:04 PM   
SadisticMan


Posts: 143
Joined: 8/19/2006
From: Columbus, OH
Status: offline 		is that all for real ?

_____________________________

We are looking into forming a committe to look into a study to discuss the possibilities of making recommendations to the chair so that it may be considered as an option sometime in the near future, at least we're thinking about it.

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 8:39:06 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		It's a very good letter.....Sorry, I gotta go, chia might find me here.



Diane

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 8:42:43 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		A follow up letter I wrote:

Dear Grandiose Untouchable Goddess,

I am honored more than Sir Isaac Newton while being knighted that you deigned to read my humble, unworthy letter! And I am eternally grateful for your kind gesture of a response! 

Mistress, it was never my intent to offend you--at least not deeply! So I offer you my deepest, humblest, grovelest apology. In fact, I offer it not just once, but three times: I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry. There. I am glad that is off my chest.

Oh. I almost forgot. Mistress, may I please write you this letter? And actually, I did not forget. I sent you a letter asking permission but it probably got lost because collarme loses a lot of emails. Those slackers! LOL! ROFL!

Mistress, you may say I stole your virtues but I did not. Your virtues are yours and I would never steal them because I do not know how and so there is no point in trying. And some may say I am a flatter. But it is not flattery, it is the truth. And so I am nothing but a speaker of the truth who happens to be a low down piece of filth. But Mistress, this filth is cleansed more than a floor freshly mopped with pinesol with just one glance from you.

Mistress, I will gladly bow behind you. And then I will follow you and kiss the ground on which you trade. But I will not smile at the ground. I will look at it with envy as if I am the jealous cheerleader. And Mistress, I tell you this so that when you see my eyes green with envy, I don't scare you into wondering if I am about to turn into the incredible hulk. Mistress, I am not the hulk, nor am I David Banner, and you are not Mr McGee. Plus, you will like me even when I am angry.

Mistress, did you think I meant I read your profile 16 or 17 times only? Oh no, Mistress. That is per hour! And I do adore it. Yesterday, I was cross dressing and there are still lipstick smears on my computer screen from kissing it when I was looking at your profile. And then I bowed in the direction of Dallas and kissed the ground to express my reverence. Mistress, do you know how I can get lipstick out of carpet?

Thank you for allowing me to call you! Mistress, you are a genius! It seems so obvious now to slip something in the drink at the bar! Next time with the drink, I will slip in a twenty in the drink and then ask for their name! And I will go get a fresh twenty from the bank or leave one in my jeans when I do laundry so they are not grossed out by a sweaty twenty in their drink. See, Mistress? I am so thoughtful. I mean, Mistress, that is what advice I will give to all the men who look up to me for advice. Now that I am committed in slavery to you, I do not even remember where the bars are.

Mistress, that is a great idea about the photo with the Ferrari! I will be sure to send the photo in my other emails. I mean, my future emails to you!

Mistress, I am overjoyed by the opportunity to prove my devotion and send to you a part of my body. I have put my fingernail clippings in a box! They should be reaching you shortly!

Mistress, I am jumping up and down with joy upon reading your email. I am floating in air because you said "With Little Regard"! I am so accustomed to seeing "With No Regard"! Mistress, I am very touched and my eyes became teary as I thought about your email. And, yes, I was cutting onions as I was preparing dinner at the time. But those tears were from the heart and not the stomach. Or something like that.

With Humble Regards,

Your Lowly and Unworthy Pieace of Rubbish

ps. Mistress, I wish to always think of your convenience. If saying my name is too long, may I suggest an acronym: LAUPOR. And if I crossdress, you are welcome to call me Cindy.

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 5/28/2007 9:17:14 PM >

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 8:51:28 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

It's a very good letter.....Sorry, I gotta go, chia might find me here.



Diane


Diane! There You are You little minx, trying to hide from me are You?

Born to serve, chia* "eyes in the back of my head" (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 8:51:36 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		So I would like to thank a friend who lives in Dallas for inspiring this letter. I know her from the real scene and wrote this letter upon seeing her create a new profile on CM. I sent this for April Fool's. She responded in the same spirit, which led to the response typed in post 12. I did not post her response, of course. And so there are a couple of paragraphs in post 12 that make reference to her response and, in the absence of that response here, create confusion. I figured as nonsensical as the rest of the letter is, that bit about a missing context would not make too great a difference ;-)

Thanks for all the positive comments :)

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 5/28/2007 9:16:11 PM >

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 11:13:22 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Dear Mistress,

It was a pleasure to meet you! Thank you for allowing me this splendid honor!

I apologize profusely for walking right past you at first. The photos you provided do not do you justice one bit. And I understand that it can be cumbersome to update photos constantly in the computer, and that photos one has may become old. By the way Mistress, that is a lovely prom dress you wore in that photo you sent!

I know that profiles can become out of date as time passes from when one originally wrote the profile. And I know that you created your profile here only last year but I understand that often when we create profiles, we simply paste into it from an older profile created elsewhere. I apologize for expecting you to be 15 years younger than you are.

I hope you enjoyed the lobster. Personally, the fish gave me the runs! Thank you so much for lending me the money to pay for dinner! I was so excited to see you that I forgot that I hadn't yet received my paycheck. I promise I will pay you back. And I am sorry if I embarrassed by paying in quarters at the coffee shop. I have all this loose change at home and I feel wasteful if I don't use it.

I will definitely remember to shave next time. I took an afternoon nap so that I would be all refreshed and alert for our meeting. And I overslept. I am sorry about the sheetmarks that were on my face when I arrived to meet you. Per your advice, I purchased a toothbrush immediately after our visit--I still had a few quarters in my pocket!

I am sorry this is brief! I must run! I will write you again tomorrow morning.

Yours,

LAUPOR or Cindy

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 11:21:08 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Dear Mistress,

I am sorry I did not write you the next morning! My computer died immediately after emailing you and it had been in the repair shop for the last 5 weeks. LOL! Those slackers! Thank you for the messages you sent. As you can see, there was a good reason for my absence and there is no need to tell everyone that I am a flake.

Mistress, I have a confession to make. I forgot to tell you that I am married. And I would divorce my wife to be your slave but but she and I are moving away to another city. Plus, I have come to realize that I am gay. So I am sorry that I am not worthy to be your slave.

I wish you the best.

Humble Regards,

LAUPOR

ps. I promise I will mail you the money for dinner! Please don't worry about sending me your address, I will look it up in the phone book.

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 5/28/2007 11:25:53 PM >

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 11:29:42 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		I'd have thought your wife would have died in a car crash with a drunk driver, on the way to the airport......?

Naturally, she had the airline tickets on her and you couldnt retrieve them, so it would be so much appreciated if Her Divine Eminence could forward a few hundred for tickets to go live with Her?

Or am I spoiling things?

Sorry. At least Undergroundsea might be worth paying for to come see one!

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 11:47:38 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

Tooo funny....but it's only funny cause it's sooo sadly true...I get these all the time..but the ones who find me have Astin Martins




Don't start! Don't even start! Soon chia will be over here telling us how it's really wrong to compare notes or make fun of those goofy letters because he personally doesn't write them.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/28/2007 11:57:17 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

It's a very good letter.....Sorry, I gotta go, chia might find me here.



Diane


Guess I was too late. God save us all from chia's wrath. I think he might still be feeling the effects of his day as a dom as declared by D.V.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Feedback on Letter of Introduction Please! - 5/29/2007 12:44:01 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass


quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

Tooo funny....but it's only funny cause it's sooo sadly true...I get these all the time..but the ones who find me have Astin Martins




Don't start! Don't even start! Soon chia will be over here telling us how it's really wrong to compare notes or make fun of those goofy letters because he personally doesn't write them.


Eh, don't get a complex DominaSmartass, and don't put words in my mouth.

Frankly i enjoyed sea's post, it was fresh, funny, original, a play on the extreme
of a submissive selling himself, unlike Your own which simply sought to once
again define pigmales as submissives and then take the opportunity to exaggerate
how they do You wrong. No comparison here DominaSmartass, not even.

Nice post sea, sorry for the interruption, but my name was invoked here in
not a nice way, had to respond.

Born to serve, chia* (the pet)  

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 20
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