RE: Clubs- what do be expected?!

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RE: Clubs- what do be expected?! - 5/29/2007 9:55:23 PM

robertolapiedra

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Hello slaverosebeauty. Baby steps!

Go to the club at the opening, when there is less people, and make yourself a promise to stay 30 minutes. After this, decide if you are staying another 30 minutes and keep going as the "comfort level" permits.

After this "breaking" of the ice thingie, you go back as soon as possible and this time you just let yourself go with the flow. Again, start early at the opening. When you feel like leaving, I'm sure you will have spent more time than in your first "outing". Baby steps. RL.

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RE: Clubs- what do be expected?! - 5/29/2007 9:56:31 PM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
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Glad to be of help. From the sounds of it, you have plenty reason to be anxious about lifestyle events. If you call the ones who run the Lair beforehand you might be able to arrive early and get a private tour. Being familiar with where you are (and how to find the restroom, etc) BEFORE you have to deal with strangers can bring down stress levels amazingly.

~E

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RE: Clubs- what do be expected?! - 5/29/2007 11:11:04 PM

SimplyMichael

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robertolapiedra

"Go early" I love solid clever advice, never occurred to me to suggest that but that is fabulous advice!

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RE: Clubs- what do be expected?! - 5/29/2007 11:40:42 PM

Archer

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Joined: 3/11/2005
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Wow so great to see a story that mentions boy bob Harris in his natural habitat.
Brings back fond memories of the Sanctuary, and most of all of bob.

For those tht don't know boy bob in EvilGeoff's story is the same bob harris who's old writtings can be found online spread around all sorts of writting collections.

The most complete collection I know of online currently is on Gloria Brahm's site.
His stuff is well worth a read.

Atlanta misses bo harris and now with Master Doug in poor health we feel it even more.

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RE: Clubs- what do be expected?! - 5/29/2007 11:42:52 PM

canupleaseme

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I was so so nervous when I went to my first fetish night a few weeks ago and almost had a panic attack going through the doors it scared the shit out of me and I really didnt know what to expect. When we got inside the atmosphere was relaxed and very friendly. People tended to keep to them selves unless we made proper eye contact but every one was approachable. Going with people who were regulars there helped and learning the rules about the private rooom and public play also helped first.
I kept my boy by my side all night and after sitting down for an hour and taing it all in had a wander round then booked a private room and then by the time I'd finished with him in there when we got out we were both much more relaxed.
It was such a scary thing going for the firstt ime but honestly very worth it I loved it

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RE: Clubs- what do be expected?! - 5/30/2007 12:24:16 AM

robertolapiedra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

robertolapiedra

"Go early" I love solid clever advice, never occurred to me to suggest that but that is fabulous advice!

Hello SimplyMichael. Yes, but that's because you and me go around midnight to meet goth vampires! RL.

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RE: Clubs- what do be expected?! - 5/30/2007 2:12:39 AM

DixieAngel

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Joined: 3/21/2007
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slaverosebeauty, I can relate to you a bit. I also suffer from anxiety attacks, however Master and i do not participate in any of the clubs. I too have had the same thoughts as you and I am so glad you posted this, it has helped me too. I get very anxious around people i dont know and crowds. You taking someone with you is a great idea. I too find that sitting back and watching then mingling when i feel comfortable helps.

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Post #: 27

RE: Clubs- what do be expected?! - 5/30/2007 2:28:21 AM

taintedgypsy

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Joined: 2/10/2007
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First I would like to send a big thankyou to EvilGeoff for letting me share such a beautiful memory. I have been away from these boards and in my owm "sanctuary" doing some healing and it was so nice to find such a pleasant reminder of how much these boards have to offer.

I understand anxiety attacks and panic and nervousness and am dealing with so many issues at the moment. However part of this road I walk has led me to agree with some of the comments on here that it is not the axiety or panic, it is the fear of these that if left unchecked can take over your life. I have found that facing this fear is painful but definately working, baby steps, crawl before you walk and walk before you run. However what works for one may not work for the other ... this is only what is working for me.

I wish you luck on your own road and hope all works out for you.

warm smiles to all

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RE: Clubs- what do be expected?! - 5/30/2007 8:51:19 AM

slaverosebeauty

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From: Cali
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canupleaseme - Thank you for your experinces, it gives me a better idea. Now I know I won't look 'off' if I don't let my partner leave my side.

robertolapiedra - great idea. A few other people suggested the same thing, so I think that would be a must. This IS a baby step for me, even considering the idea of going, lol.

DixieAngel - If I go, I will let you know what happens, nice to know I am not in this anxiety panic attack boat myself.

I am more of a people watcher anyways, I can sit for hours and watch people at a mall, a playground, anywhere, so a club won't be 'much' {said toungue in cheek} different, ok the nudity, the screams, the toys, the different protocols each couple has, etc; all in all the same thing?!

Everyone thank you for the advice, please keep it coming; the more I hear, the more curious I am. If things do work out an I will be in the LA area, I would like to meet up with a few friends, since that seems to be a consensus.

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RE: Clubs- what do be expected?! - 5/30/2007 9:26:52 AM

Duty2Please

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I agree with Robertolapietra and SimplyMichael, going early, when the club is not very crowded gives you the opportunity of getting used to the look of the place first, then getting used to the people in the place.

I also found it much more comfortable to be with people I know when going to a club for the first time.

Personally, I don't have panic attacks and for me one of the fun things is the discomfort of exploring, so I went to my first club alone; my second with people I'd already (just) met at a munch. Both experiences were enjoyable, but it took me longer to get myself emotionally ready for the first one.

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