LadyHugs
Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear MsMia, masterLon3446, Ladies and Gentlemen;
In my mind's eyes I see, a title is earned. Unfortunately, this is certainly not always the case and has become increasingly evident that some use the title for dishonorable intentions.
I can only speak from my personal experiences and history, to which is always subjected to malicious slander by those who feel like they have dominion over me, as a woman or lady; that they have some mission to discredit and debunk wisdom, experiences and or skills due to the association as a woman--as to appear as men are qualified and exclusive in the arts of "mastery."
I am a Heterosexual. It was a displeasure to associate with the Heterosexual men who identified as Master in the 1970's. Back then, there was only "Master-slave" and, much like today--sexual use, abuse and taking women for granted and keeping them muzzled in the USA was standard practices.
Overseas, where debauchery has had a longer history, the hangups about those women who were just as gifted as men to master over another, were at least given some polite courtesy. In the Gay Leather community overseas, there were even more hurdles to over come but, sex was not the principle interest--The total person was more important than kinky sex, a sex slave which usually meant in Heterosexual circles an unpaid prostitute and unpaid labor and not considered a valued person as well as property.
Of course my first exposures of any group or class of people imprint deeply. This is why each new person is going to judge from their first experiences, what, how, when, where and such that M/s, D/s, S&M and or BDSM will be. Exploring and going to other areas will sift through the exclusive from the general acts, behaviors and attitudes. That said, I was treated with more dignity, respect and admiration by the Gay Leather men overseas, to which had a peppering of US Military men, who had to be extremely discreet at the time; than within Heterosexual Master-slave circles. The protocols used, made much more clear the line between authority and submitting to that authority.
When I went through the "Leather" process, what most will know as Final Leather, I earned my cover and leathers like any other Gay man in the same system and with the same hard work. I had to work harder though, as I was a female and it seems like all men, regardless of gender, race and or beliefs--seem to make it 'H__ll' for women. I do understand that standards must be maintained so, I exceeded them. But, I will again proffer for those reading -- It was the Gay Leather men who gave me an opportunity to be a "Master." They saw, in those days the many needs from physical, the emotion and mental needs as well as spiritual. It is popular now but, not back in the 1970's or 80's even. Mastering includes the heart and spirit, not just the physical and or sexual side of the slave.
Master means more than throwing a whip artfully or being able to tie a pretty rope and pretty knots on a slave's body and or barking commands and showing off. Master means loving a slave with every fiber in their being, to allow them to grow into the power to which they need a Master no more but, they stay if they wish and or will it or, to phase into their own journey into the rites of being a Master. It is of setting a slave free in many levels and in many ways; in their own processes of " Final Leather."
Like generations past, in the modern practices of M/s; sexual lust and fantasy was the bait per se, as to gain interest in what is today M/s, D/s, S&M and or BDSM. From ads in magazines or newspaper personals, the code words and clothing ques all cause the same 'journey' into a authority and submission to authority role. Borrowing from civilian, military, religion and Imperial (nobility)--each possesses a standard which promotes authority and submission to that authority.
Having been around Lesbians in the DC area, some identify themself as a Mistress still. It was around the mid-1990's when Lesbians started to identify themself in a more masculine "SIR" or "boy" and now it has evolved into using "Syr" and "boi."
I can understand Syr, as that is ancient English before the letter "i" was used. I was circulating in the Gay Leather circles back then, to where I was addressed by my Dominant peers as "Master." The choice few had met those from overseas and had witnessed my investing ceremony and was re-invested with cover and leathers in the USA inside the Eagle.
What I have never had to do though, is to promote myself or chase around getting attention. I just have to be myself and people know what I am. Those who know me will make physical acknowledgments of what I am. Although I identify as a Master--I am also a Lady, to which it is more than a title. It is a state of behavior.
Just as a Master is more than a title--it is a state of being, a state of behavior and a state of attitude. Leather garments do not make a "Leather man/woman" either. It is the process, just as those who take raw skins to make leather garments and the term "Final Leather" parallels the hide to leather and the living 'being' into a Leather man or Leather woman and or where they are in that Leather community.
True, women deemed Master were given the title of Mistress. This stems deeply into society, it is in our labels and titles now. Miss, a short for Mistress that is unmarried and Mrs, for Mistress who is married and Mr. short for Master. Only after the American Revolution did this change from Mr. Master to Mister, etc.
However, some titles are still used; Master of Ceremonies which was born from nobility reign --where there was a nobleman who was in charge of putting on the ceremonies for the King/Queen. We use it differently but--that is society and civilization change.
To most women, Mistress has been used in a negative way; such as 'the other woman.' In the context of BDSM--I rather not argue as to what title is better, worse, gender this or that. I rather have focus on the quality of the person who identifies as Master and or other titles. I know what and who I am. My peers know who and what I am. Words mean little--respect, acknowledgment and honor words and acts shown that show others what and who I am--matter.
Just some thoughts.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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RE: I like it here, can Dominant women be Masters? - 
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