Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Let The Flaming Begin...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Let The Flaming Begin... Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/29/2007 10:57:19 PM   
DigitalNoise


Posts: 22
Joined: 12/28/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
So, I'm sure this is going to garner all sorts of flame responses, but I'm prepared to deal with that.

For the sake of brevity, I'll refrain from posting my profile here - not to mention that would probably violate some rule somewhere, but not for the reason those rules exist, but I would like to ask the various members of these forms for their honest opinions, and here's why:  two people, both of whom I respect, have given me vastly differing opinions on my recent profile edit.

One stated that it was much better than the previous one, and didn't make me out to be as much of a sex-crazed male as the other one had.  The other said it was awful - that it was fine for a vanilla site, but not for a BDSM site.

So, I put to you, dear reader, the question: What do you think?

If you do take the time to share your opinions, please - explain your position.  Telling someone that something is horrible does no good if you don't point out the specific facts or items that you disagree with - the same goes for agreeing on too broadly a scale.

Thank you for your time.


_____________________________

"If I wasn't stubborn, I wouldn't be me!" - Me
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/29/2007 11:53:57 PM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline
Hello DigitalNoise. What do you want? matches? bic lighter? I'm kidding.

Ok, I read your profile. It's hard to identify to a specific flavor. You would come off as a "tutti fruity" of sorts. I understand what you mean, but I doubt the ladies will.

I think it would be better to say that you are looking for a serious D/s relationship with a "bright" submissive looking for daddy. The way things stand, you come off as "anything" for "everything" kind of deal.

In your case "less is more". Leave a little mistery. No need to be so "specific". RL.

(in reply to DigitalNoise)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/29/2007 11:54:35 PM   
Tannie


Posts: 134
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
I'd have to say it is damn near perfect.  Not too pushy, not too soft, mentions your interests outside of BDSM and a bit of what you are willing to give a potential partner.  The only thing I can see that would possibly (possibly) need changing is giving a bit of a description of what you think "daddy" means. 

(in reply to DigitalNoise)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 2:01:21 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
I think it's wonderful..........  

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to Tannie)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 2:13:04 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
I thought it was good also. Thank god it's not pages long ugh those are terrible lol
btw  that journal entry was a hoot
have a great day

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to DigitalNoise)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 3:46:46 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
Seems ok to me though the rest of us don't have your former profile to compare it with.  And nor is there anything an *any* male or dom/mes profile to attract me.... lol
 
Probably the only real criticism I can come up with is that it gets a bit messy when you try to differentiate between sub and slave....  All slaves still fulfill a submissive role just as all wives are still women - the difference with both is committment to another (Master or husband).  So I'd suggest you simplify it by losing the "slave" references; that you seek a submissive with (perhaps) a longer term goal for an M/s relationship with the right one.
 
The rest of your profile screams "honesty" and is consistent with what most would expect of a 25yo's limited experience - which is reflected in the title of this thread.  Anyone who passes on your honesty about yourself is probably saving you a lot of wasted time....

Focus.

(in reply to DigitalNoise)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 3:55:30 AM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline
Hi DigitalNoise,
It looks mostly ok to me. Nothing leaps out to grab me but nothing distresses me too much. The questions it would leave me asking would be:
why isn't he looking for a live-in relationship? is he married or what? what is he looking for, weekends, evenings, what kind of situation?
why is he making a clear differentiation between a sub and a slave, and then in the same breath saying that he's looking for either one or the other and doesn't mind which? what's the point of making them different if he can't decide which level he needs?

Everything else looked fine.

(in reply to DigitalNoise)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 4:26:46 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedGirlScout

The questions it would leave me asking would be:
why isn't he looking for a live-in relationship? is he married or what? what is he looking for, weekends, evenings, what kind of situation?

Lol, I'm probably wayyyy more cynical than you but I "knew" the answer to that as soon as I read your questions....
 
The answers (to me) are in his profile - hence my reference to his age and experience etc....
Here tis:
 
DigitalNoise
>> "I'm also an avid gamer - mostly online and console RPG's." <<
 
Lol, doubtless someone will be along to tell me how lotsa happily married men are avid gamers etc - but they will NOT stop me from being suspicious and cynical.... lol
 
Focus.

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 4:43:48 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
Your profile looks fine to me.  The only thing I would suggest would be if possible to get a friend to take your photo or use one of those small camera tripods to take a new photo - I know from past experience that using my phone/camera to take a photo of myself always ends up in that squashed up grimace and very unflattering angles!

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to DigitalNoise)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 5:16:41 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline
I like your profile.  It's very well written and explains a bit about who you are inside and outside of BDSM.  I agree that self taken cam photos are a disaster and getting someone to snap a pic is wise.

D~

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 5:54:02 AM   
YourShyPet


Posts: 185
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline
I give it "two thumbs up"... it touches on your interests in, and out of the lifestyle... and I personally think your upfrontness with not being interested in a live in situation at this time rather refreshing... I am not looking, and I don't have a live in situation... if I was looking I definatly wouldn't be looking for any immediate if any live in situation... it's just not for me at this point, and time and I'm pretty sure there are many people out there who feel the same way.

kittin

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 6:17:51 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
Personally I would give your profile a 12 on a 10 scale, it is straightforward, honest and above all( watch out some of the crowd will duck and run)----realistic--it combines real life to dos and interests with your  other interests. It appears to  blend all those into a nice package--you should have great  luck in finding a nice little one to complement you.

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 5/30/2007 6:18:32 AM >


_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to DigitalNoise)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 9:22:31 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
I liked it. It tells me who you are, which is by far more important. I personally dislike profiles that are fluffy stories or descriptions of sexual acts. I'd rather know the person that I'm becoming involved with.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 12:49:53 PM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

Personally I would give your profile a 12 on a 10 scale, it is straightforward, honest and above all( watch out some of the crowd will duck and run)----realistic--it combines real life to dos and interests with your  other interests. It appears to  blend all those into a nice package--you should have great  luck in finding a nice little one to complement you.


Hello MH00314. In that case I'm sure DigitalNoise will come back and tell us all about having great luck in finding his compliment. Yes? RL.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 5:05:10 PM   
DigitalNoise


Posts: 22
Joined: 12/28/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

why isn't he looking for a live-in relationship? is he married or what? what is he looking for, weekends, evenings, what kind of situation?


Simple really - I currently have a roommate, our lease expires in August, at which point I plan to move into a one-bedroom apartment on my own.  Add to that I'm a work-a-holic (60+ hrs/wk voluntarily) and it doesn't seem appropriate to attempt a live-in relationship at this point.

quote:

why is he making a clear differentiation between a sub and a slave, and then in the same breath saying that he's looking for either one or the other and doesn't mind which? what's the point of making them different if he can't decide which level he needs?


Good point - I'll take that into consideration.  I think what I was attempting to do was stave off any flood of posers who email me and ask that I take them on as my personal slave(s).

_____________________________

"If I wasn't stubborn, I wouldn't be me!" - Me

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 5:08:00 PM   
DigitalNoise


Posts: 22
Joined: 12/28/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:


quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

Personally I would give your profile a 12 on a 10 scale, it is straightforward, honest and above all( watch out some of the crowd will duck and run)----realistic--it combines real life to dos and interests with your  other interests. It appears to  blend all those into a nice package--you should have great  luck in finding a nice little one to complement you.



Hello MH00314. In that case I'm sure DigitalNoise will come back and tell us all about having great luck in finding his compliment. Yes? RL.


Define luck? Meh.

_____________________________

"If I wasn't stubborn, I wouldn't be me!" - Me

(in reply to robertolapiedra)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 5:16:09 PM   
DigitalNoise


Posts: 22
Joined: 12/28/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

Probably the only real criticism I can come up with is that it gets a bit messy when you try to differentiate between sub and slave....  All slaves still fulfill a submissive role just as all wives are still women - the difference with both is committment to another (Master or husband).  So I'd suggest you simplify it by losing the "slave" references; that you seek a submissive with (perhaps) a longer term goal for an M/s relationship with the right one.


Point taken.  Though as I mention later in my responses that I think I was attempting to stave off any flood of people who respond who are just trying to find *anyone* to serve - not merely the right one for them.  Make sense?
 
quote:

The rest of your profile screams "honesty" and is consistent with what most would expect of a 25yo's limited experience - which is reflected in the title of this thread.  Anyone who passes on your honesty about yourself is probably saving you a lot of wasted time....


One of the criticisms delivered to me regarding my profile (one of the individuals mentioned in the originating post) was the fact that I didn't mention my lack of experience - they're point of view was that this was a lacking that undermined myself.  My point of view is that we each have a judgement to make in regards to the individuals we communicate with - and it should not always be predicated on whether or not we think (or they state) they have enough "experience".

Yes, I am inexperienced.  Yes, I would desperately love to gain experience, and look forward to doing so.  Do I feel that this is worthy of time in my profile? Not necessarily.

I am interested to know, however, how you determined my level of experience (or lack thereof) based on my "honest profile" and the title of this thread?

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 5:20:20 PM   
DigitalNoise


Posts: 22
Joined: 12/28/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

Hello DigitalNoise. What do you want? matches? bic lighter? I'm kidding.

Propane torch - all the way.  Especially if they've got a built-in ignitor - though the spark caps are fun too.

quote:

Ok, I read your profile. It's hard to identify to a specific flavor. You would come off as a "tutti fruity" of sorts. I understand what you mean, but I doubt the ladies will.

I think it would be better to say that you are looking for a serious D/s relationship with a "bright" submissive looking for daddy. The way things stand, you come off as "anything" for "everything" kind of deal.

In your case "less is more". Leave a little mistery. No need to be so "specific". RL.


Hmmm, interesting perspective.

(in reply to robertolapiedra)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 6:04:04 PM   
chicagochick


Posts: 27
Joined: 4/19/2007
Status: offline
I thought you gave a nice introduction to who you are as a person more then just listing what specific acts you want to be involved with, like a lot people. A sense of humor also counts for a lot (with me at least) and I think yours comes through here without being so comical that people couldn't take you seriously as a Dom. The only advice I would give is to maybe consider thinning out your interests list a bit. I like that you took the time to put some information in, but when you get down to a long list of things you "tolerate" my eyes start to glaze over. I'd much rather know what you love and what you dislike and i'm not as worried about the stuff in between. To me that is best left to actual conversation, to fill in the details as opposed to a profile which is giving a rough outline and trying to get people interested enough to go to the next step.

Oh, and I agree about the picture, it isn't super flattering. You don't seem like a bad looking guy so just get a normal run of the mill decent picture. The angle on this one is odd and kind of exagerates things like a fun house mirror.

Just my two cents :)

p.s. Nice to see someone post a question then actually come back and check out the responses and reply themselve instead of suddenly disappearing.

(in reply to DigitalNoise)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Let The Flaming Begin... - 5/30/2007 6:42:00 PM   
DigitalNoise


Posts: 22
Joined: 12/28/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

thought you gave a nice introduction to who you are as a person more then just listing what specific acts you want to be involved with, like a lot people. A sense of humor also counts for a lot (with me at least) and I think yours comes through here without being so comical that people couldn't take you seriously as a Dom. The only advice I would give is to maybe consider thinning out your interests list a bit. I like that you took the time to put some information in, but when you get down to a long list of things you "tolerate" my eyes start to glaze over. I'd much rather know what you love and what you dislike and i'm not as worried about the stuff in between. To me that is best left to actual conversation, to fill in the details as opposed to a profile which is giving a rough outline and trying to get people interested enough to go to the next step.

Oh, and I agree about the picture, it isn't super flattering. You don't seem like a bad looking guy so just get a normal run of the mill decent picture. The angle on this one is odd and kind of exagerates things like a fun house mirror.

It's not the mirror - that's how I normally look ;-P  But seriously, yeah, I'll have to see about getting a decent picture taken.

Hmmm, you're the first person to suggest whittling down the list - at least in so many words - and I think you're on to something (props to anyone else who said the same thing differently).  I'll have to work on that.

quote:

p.s. Nice to see someone post a question then actually come back and check out the responses and reply themselve instead of suddenly disappearing.

Occasionally I'm a bit scattered and forget that I posted here - but I eventually remember.  Sometimes it's tempting to make a post and then watch the ensuing fireworks, but I'm actually asking for people's interaction here so *shrug*

(in reply to chicagochick)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Let The Flaming Begin... Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.096