RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!!

RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (Full Version)

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happypervert -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (5/30/2007 8:29:03 PM)
Do you have that URL? I'd like to send it to my mom!

LadybugBlue -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (5/30/2007 8:33:58 PM)
The closest I've gotten to discussing kink with my mom was loaning her and my step-dad my copy of "Story of O" on my mom's request. Then discussing it with her afterwards. She and I both decided to change the topic as it started getting too close to home (we're open about sex, but there's just some things I don't want to know about her, and I know she doesn't want to know about me, ya' know?)

RobertCloud -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (5/30/2007 8:35:19 PM)
My parents are very straight laced... Until several years ago my mother did not realize that the term Blow Job had nothing to do with balloons and oral sex was something both of them considered filthy and nasty. Yet, as I grew up sex was openly discussed. My parent's door was never locked and would not stay shut so I got more than I wanted to see. My parents often would bath or shower and walk from the tub to their bedroom with nothing on. It was not uncommon at all. It did not scar me. However, when my mother found out I was going to be a published author she wanted a signed copy of my book. I told her I did not think it was the kind of book she would enjoy reading and tried to explain that it had strong BDSM elements and that it was an erotic romance. To this day when she tells people about me being an author she tells them I write soft porn. LOL.. Big difference but she does not understand that. She has not yet read my book but swears she is going to. I have had one aunt read it and she now turns red everytime she sees me. I am truly not certain I can handle my mother reading my book... Worse... the questions she is going to ask... Like... "Have you done this?" "Do you really know what that is like?"... OMG....

FelinePersuasion -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (5/30/2007 8:55:55 PM)
Our family is really open about sex, and my parents have driven me to kink events, since I can't drive and there's no one else to take me. So not really to much bothers me, but there's one thing I was like ok no thanks didn't need to share, There's a mexican singer Julio Eglasio, and she was all like mmmmmmmmm he makes my twat go yum yum yum.

Sub03 -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (5/30/2007 9:13:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RobertCloud My parents are very straight laced... Until several years ago my mother did not realize that the term Blow Job had nothing to do with balloons and oral sex was something both of them considered filthy and nasty. Yet, as I grew up sex was openly discussed. My parent's door was never locked and would not stay shut so I got more than I wanted to see. My parents often would bath or shower and walk from the tub to their bedroom with nothing on. It was not uncommon at all. It did not scar me. However, when my mother found out I was going to be a published author she wanted a signed copy of my book. I told her I did not think it was the kind of book she would enjoy reading and tried to explain that it had strong BDSM elements and that it was an erotic romance. To this day when she tells people about me being an author she tells them I write soft porn. LOL.. Big difference but she does not understand that. She has not yet read my book but swears she is going to. I have had one aunt read it and she now turns red everytime she sees me. I am truly not certain I can handle my mother reading my book... Worse... the questions she is going to ask... Like... "Have you done this?" "Do you really know what that is like?"... OMG.... Ive read your book--have it actually, I wouldn't want my mom to read it, I couldn't imagine my mom reading it if I had written it. Good book though, I loved it.

Mikal -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (5/30/2007 9:23:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RosaB OMG! That was too funny. Btw, do you have a link to that site. [sm=lol.gif] Um, I want the link for research purposes only. [:D] Rosa Sorry Rosa, I forgot your post in my first response/thank you post... Anyway, no, there is no link. Just to to limewire.com and install limewire. Then, on the 'search' tab, click for videos and type in 'Fantasia'. [:)] Good luck!

Mikal -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (5/30/2007 9:32:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RobertCloud My parents are very straight laced... Yet, as I grew up sex was openly discussed. My parent's door was never locked and would not stay shut so I got more than I wanted to see. My parents often would bath or shower and walk from the tub to their bedroom with nothing on. It was not uncommon at all. It did not scar me. ...not certain I can handle my mother reading my book... Worse... the questions she is going to ask... Like... "Have you done this?" "Do you really know what that is like?"... OMG.... Actually, I grew up much the same way... but our doors were always closed (my folks were big on privacy - for everyone). Casual nudity wasn't a biggie, especially in the summer when the heat waves were rolling in and the AC didn't work [&:]. But.... BUT... there are just some things you don't discuss with your parents... I think I'd be more comfortable discussing the possible why's of being a lesbian (no, they still don't know, and won't until I've found someone I'm willing to live with). As for your book (cudos on that btw), if/when your Mom does read it... be sure to tell us all about it! [:D] Just 'cause we care so much... really, we do. [:)] grins and just think of the fun you could have with your Aunt at Christmas... all those lovely little gifts that are innocent... but maybe not... snickers

gooddogbenji -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (5/30/2007 10:16:39 PM)
Wait.... You're a lesbian????? Did you hear that? That was my little heart shattering into a million little bits. Yours, benji

Mikal -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (5/30/2007 10:23:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji Wait.... You're a lesbian????? Did you hear that? That was my little heart shattering into a million little bits. Yours, benji Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww... I'm sorry benji... I thought you knew... would it help your poor heart if I said I was a lesbian-hetero switch? [:-] "Cause, for you... I might be...weg

lovewithoutfear -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (5/31/2007 12:36:49 AM)
lilsubl wrote: "but after my Mom died, i came out to my Father about being a Lesbian...he remarried & came to me one day asking what Lesbians do for each other sexually, since he wanted to give his wife pleasure, but he was too old to do the things he had when he was younger..." I can see why this would squick you, but I also think it took a lot of balls for your dad to ask you this! Mine would never discus sexual matters with me. Smiles

petdave -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (5/31/2007 6:09:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mikal THEN... she turns to me.... and says: "I need you to stay up 'till your Dad gets in (he gets in around midnight)... I want him to see this, but you'll probably have to explain some of it to him". CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS??????? I figure she's got to be kidding... but noooooooooooooooooooooooo. She isn't. Ack! That's too terrible to even think about [&:] cookie Too late now, but the best course of action would probably have been pleading ignorance. "i don't know, but it looks like he's got his wing-wang in her hoo-ha! i don't know WHY anyone would do such a thing [:-]... what will those crazy heathens come up with next?" Now you're screwed. Just wait until Mom decides she wants to hear some of the Scat (musical) recordings of her parent's generation... (insert animated .gif of "Scrubbing Bubbles" spinning around on a man's brain, with the caption "work faster you little bastards!") ...dave

Mikal -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (5/31/2007 7:21:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petdave Ack! That's too terrible to even think about [&:] cookie Thanks dave munches on cookie... y'know, I never thought I'd get this many cookies from this thread... maybe I should start posting some of the other stuff in my life [sm=lol.gif] . So long as these cookies don't go right to my thighs [:-] quote: Too late now, but the best course of action would probably have been pleading ignorance. "i don't know, but it looks like he's got his wing-wang in her hoo-ha! i don't know WHY anyone would do such a thing [:-]... what will those crazy heathens come up with next?" Now you're screwed. Just wait until Mom decides she wants to hear some of the Scat (musical) recordings of her parent's generation... (insert animated .gif of "Scrubbing Bubbles" spinning around on a man's brain, with the caption "work faster you little bastards!") ...dave After the fact, I thought of it. All I can say is that I was just so shocked that lying hadn't fully occured to me... [&o] As for 'what's next'... it has happened. I've just spent 20 minutes explaining to my Mom what fisting is, for both men and women, why they'd do it, and how it's not necessarily a rear-entry wrecker. [sm=whoa.gif] I don't know why she thought to look up such a term, let alone where she heard it from (certainly wasn't from ME!). What sort-of gets my goad... she'll believe any medical thingy she pulls up from the 'net... but if it's sexual... nope. Gotta ask someone about it. Apparently, my Aunt and her ([sm=idea.gif]y'know, that's where she probably heard the term from... Auntie-dearest is soooo getting a 'useful' item for Christmas... [sm=trident.gif]) discuss whatever weird and wanky material they happen to stumble across... and I, being university educated, am apparently their back-up resource. sighs Now I think I know why my cousins don't have any issues telling their Mom that they are not talking about whatever and hanging up. B#$!^%ds. I'm gonna have to have a talk with them... [sm=m23.gif]

HutchGarahl -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (6/1/2007 12:52:39 AM)
OMG! ROTFLMAO! That's just way too funny. [8D] I feel for ya though hun. :) I can remember once when living with my granma...I was only about12 at the time I think. Came home from school, grams was of course out in the garden as usual. I spotted something funny looking on the back of her neck. But ignored it and went on my way. After she came in for something to drink...that's when I realized what it was I saw and just litteraly fell on the floor with laughter. She had done my laundry that day and apparently, I forgot and left one of my butterlfies in the pocket of my jeans. She apparently thought it was some sort of new massage unit, stuck her arms through the straps and went to work in the garden. She asked why I was laughing so hard and I told her she REALLY DIDN'T WANNA KNOW. She said she did....so I told her. OH MAN! The look on her face when I told her what the thing on her neck was and what it was used for. CLASSIC I tell ya. Course now, grams being the deep rooted southern baptist, you bet your bottom dollar I got the what's for about how God was against this kind of stuff....I was too young, how did I even get something like that and of course the having to do the hail mary thing. Would of course like to know what she did with my butterfly though as I never saw it again and it wasn't found when her things were doled out after her death.[8D]

Vendaval -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (6/1/2007 1:13:05 AM)
You never know, Mikal. Their minds and attitudes might have changed just a bit much. It probably hurt you much worse than them, just like a spanking! Now to share a bit of parental-embarassment - I was training as an HIV counselor and had some training videos to take home and watch. These included cutting, fisting and anal sex. Mom watched them with me and was mostly pretty disgusted but understood the need to teach safer sex to prevent the transmission of HIV and other diseases. Luckily she can be clinical and detached about the body and sex. A few years ago one of my aunts died, a lady in her 80's. In the course of cleaning out her bedroom and bathroom my mother and cousins found her stash of vibrators, which caused a great deal of laughter and blushing. But you know, old ain't dead so....

Aswad -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (6/1/2007 2:44:01 AM)
Mikal, I must say you made my day. Thanks for sharing. Is it horrible if I admit to laughing my ass off at this? [:D] That said, it might be your mum actually has some unrealized interests in that department, but I'm sure you didn't want to hear that, and don't want to know if it's the case. ~g~ Horror stories? Not really. But I can say that I did not relish hearing from my mum that my uncle had been going through my stuff while we were moving, had found handcuffs, rope, whips and such, and was very worried that we might be into breath play, something he's had the unfortunate experience of retrieving bodies from (he's a cop). Now, the idea that my uncle had gone through my stuff and found various play items was of course not pleasant in itself. But explaining to my mom that I wasn't into breath play inevitably led to explaining about bondage, whipping and stuff. Which she was fine with; she's very open-minded that way. I, however, am not as comfortable discussing my sex life with her as she is. There are things I don't need to know, like what amazing stamina my dad apparently has. [sm=whoa.gif] Similarly, back in my teens, she was driving me and some friends to some social event. So this friend of mine starts talking about this totally hot chick he'd seen, and everyone else starts joining in about that. I quietly inform him that it's my sister, five years younger than I am. Cue akward silence. Not sure how the conversation got from A to B, but at some point just before dropping us off, my mom commented to him something along the lines of "Sure, it's nice to get a good fuck, but she's not old enough for that." I don't remember where the conversation went from there, as I was too busy trying to sink through the car and into that gaping hole in the ground that I hoped awaited me underneath it. Nowadays, I'm more comfortable discussing things with her, but I'd still rather avoid it altogether. Guess we'll be "coming out" at some point, and I'll probably have to explain the dynamics in detail, but for now my age means I can't afford the liability that coming out unfortunately represents in terms of employability in my line of work. Of course, at that point, I'm a lot more worried about explaining things to my mother-in-law; she is a fair bit like you describe your mom, minus the religious part and the thinking-it's-funny part (she'd go apoplectic if she saw that clip). And she's the mother of a slave, a mother who is very "women must be independent, and anything men do, apart from the 'holy' union of a married couple in the missionary position behind closed windows with the lights off, is degrading to, and hateful of, women, who cannot possibly like anything else." That, and she's raised in the "whoever shouts the loudest is right" school of interruption...err...debate. Looking forward to that one, mhm...

Aswad -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (6/1/2007 2:46:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KyttynTheMynx ugh. long story short, woke up late for school on my 15th bday, walked to mom and dads room to make sure they were awake and getting ready for work, only to find them commemorating ( i guess ) the day i popped into the world. twitches yick... Imagine waking up late for school, going to get your lunch box, and finding a "king size" (I thought at the time) vibrator on the couch. Dad sure put that away right quick when we weren't looking.

Aswad -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (6/1/2007 2:49:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyTeazer I've never had anything like that happen to me. My mother was very straight-laced. But if you listen closely, that "whirring" sound you hear? That's her spinning in her grave, now that kink and BDSM are a part of My life. I've given serious thought to attaching dynamos (or perhaps turbines would be more appropriate?) to a lot of dead people. It would solve the whole problem of renewable energy. Imagine sticking Moses in the car of some modern-day bible thumper who things Jesus and Mary are the only ones to pray to, preferrably through an idol, and attaching him to the gear shaft. He'd be doing 10K rpm all the time.

johntom571 -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (6/1/2007 2:56:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mikal Last night, I was showing my Mom how to download stuff (songs and the like). She gets the brilliant idea to download old Disney classics (we own them already, but they're on VHS and atm we only have a DVD player). Now, I'm very familiar with the 'net and the gobledygook you can get. So I set the filters. Mom, in her infinite wisdom, decides to remove the filters (figure's she'll get more results. [8\|] ). She doesn't tell me. That's fine, 'cause, y'know, she's my Mom. HOWEVER... she goes looking for Fantasia. With no filters on whatsoever. See the problem??? [sm=hewah.gif] She finds Fantasia. It's tagged as being by Disney. It downloads really really fast. So, she calls me over to watch it with her (she has problems getting stuff to play... she doesn't quite get that song clips are different from movie clips, and that not all movie compressions are the same... so I have to get new codecs to read the stuff she's downloaded. Plus, she lacks some common sense in that she'll download questionable material and crash the computer with viruses, trojans, worms, etc.). Anyway... I come over to watch. First thing to appear? Black screen. Ok. Then deep breathing. You'd have thought I'd clue in at this point that Disney wasn't it. But noooooooooooooo! Then.... BOOMB! [sm=hair.gif] Big red, heavily veined & bumpy weenie shows up, boinking some womans fuzzy man-hole. Just what I want to see. With my Mom. She spits her tea all over the computer (it's a laptop), and starts laughing (I don't think she's ever seen porn before. She is very very VERY religious). I'm frozen in shock. Other pictures come on... multiple men ejaculating on one womans ass while anotherwoman licks the cum off... rear entery scenes... the whole time, Ma dearest is chortling, and asking me if I can believe what I'm seeing? I can, but I'm not gonna tell HER that! And I just want the floor to open up and drop me, killing me on impact. 'Cause now, she's asking ME questions... "Is she/he doing what I think they're doing?!?!?"... "What is he doing?" (in reference to the back door luv'n)... etc. I'm trying to shut it off. She smacks me, and keeps asking questions. I keep wanting to leave, but can't. I mean, it's rude to just walk away, especially when someone is talking to you. But.... [sm=river.gif]... WHY ME????? Finally, Mom got over the initial shock and whatnot, determined it was all smut, and shut it down. THEN... she turns to me.... and says: "I need you to stay up 'till your Dad gets in (he gets in around midnight)... I want him to see this, but you'll probably have to explain some of it to him". CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS??????? I figure she's got to be kidding... but noooooooooooooooooooooooo. She isn't. Now, I get to explain sexual preferences to the other half that made me. The homophobe. The guy who thinks that Pride goers should be jailed for indecency. The joy. The bliss. Fukn-A. The end result? I'm scarred. Irrevocably. And I now know that neither of them knows jack-diddley about sex. Including safe sex. They didn't completely believe all the stuff I was telling them. Oh, and then they wanted to know how I knew! Freaky murow, I swear, if one of them ever cheats, I'm beating them bloody. Then getting every living thing in the house tested for STD/I's. Oh, and they both agreed that what they saw is simply a product of the "culture of death" that we now live in, how the End is coming, yadda yadda yadda. And then go listen to whatever preacher it is that they listen to. Anyone else have any parent-related horror sex story? Well i'm guessing that your mom is less of a prude that you think she is. You, on the other hand, i'm not so sure :) thanks for the laughter John

Aswad -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (6/1/2007 2:59:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadybugBlue The closest I've gotten to discussing kink with my mom was loaning her and my step-dad my copy of "Story of O" on my mom's request. Then discussing it with her afterwards. Funny that... Friends of mine, a couple, asked to borrow some movies. I asked which ones, and they were like whatever, so I slipped that in there. She watched it, he didn't; however, I've gotten positive feedback on sharing other stuff with him in the past. Now, talking to him, she was all "that's horrible... how can they treat women like that?". A bit later, talking to me, she's like "interesting movie; I liked that bit with the leashes" and "tell me... how much does a brand hurt?". Something tells me I'm going to be earning my paddles in time... [sm=evil.gif]

Aswad -> RE: eewwww... I so did NOT need to see that!!! (6/1/2007 3:03:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lovewithoutfear I can see why this would squick you, but I also think it took a lot of balls for your dad to ask you this! Mine would never discus sexual matters with me. My thoughts, too. Not only admitting that he had a problem pleasing her (most have a hard time admitting that to themselves), but actually turning to his daughter for advice. Takes a bit of stones to do that.

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