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caged -> Top Ten Bad Things About Owning a Real Life Gorean Slave (1/14/2004 4:17:34 AM)
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Top Ten Bad Things About Owning a Real Life Gorean Slave
10) She constantly uses "I was checking for poison" as an excuse
when she scarfs half of your coke at Burger King.
9) By the time she finishes her elaborate serving ceremony and gives
you your drink you have already lost consciousness and are in need
of medical attention for dehydration.
8) She compares you to those fantasy pics of Gorean warriors that
you find online, then laughs and calls you "Master big sword".
7) Having her depreciate in value to the point where you can only
get 3 chickens for her instead of the 2 pigs and a fox pelt you
originally paid.
6) When the tavern dance she does starts to look an awful lot like
The Macarena.
5) The "this is my slut fuck-whole slave who isn't worthy of having
a name" introduction always gets family dinners with your parents
off to a bad start.
4) "Spanker's Elbow" isn't covered by your health insurance plan.
3) Confusion and constant "A girl? What girl are you talking about?"
questions when she starts talks about herself in third person.
2) She insists that she only truly feels enslaved when you take
control of the home by washing the dishes, doing laundry, and
scrubbing the toilets.
1) Having sex with her anywhere and anytime you want has led to 4
warrants for indecent exposure, and 3 for lewd behavior in a public
place. The courts are still mulling over the "can a true slave be
raped" issue
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