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drives - 5/31/2007 6:25:32 AM   
murmur


Posts: 394
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline 		What fascinates me in the bdsm environnement is the drives that pushes people to change a view of their existence or to try to be themselves in a world where following the sheep's  group is recommended to better *fit in*.
what, personnally, drives you? A taste for difference? The need to be different with people who're the same as you? (;-P)The need to explore your darker personnality, to better know yourself? The unique connexion known in bdsm? The want to go beyond yourself, to maybe, challenge what you were into what you want to become? What makes it addicting for you?

As for myself, i would say it's the unique way for two persons to know one another completely, withtout taboos or complex.
thanks in advance :)
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RE: drives - 5/31/2007 6:33:45 AM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Company.  Having like-minded company draws me here.  People that can talk about an M/s relationship with relatively few flames as if on a vanilla-relationship board.

(in reply to murmur)
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RE: drives - 5/31/2007 6:58:36 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's really all about being true to myself.

Which is why I'm actually a pretty boring person leading a pretty boring life in a lot of ways- but it's my life and I love it.

PS- don't fool yourself into thinking bdsm doesn't push people to be sheep and fit in any more or less than the vanilla world

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 5/31/2007 7:17:07 AM >

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RE: drives - 5/31/2007 7:00:55 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		It is really to me just being around like minded people who I can discuss things with. It is just being me.

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RE: drives - 5/31/2007 7:14:27 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		It is partly to be among others who share the general kink as I do in the BDSM world and to learn and grow by gaining knowledge. Also this appeals to the baser or "darker" part of my personality to understand myself better and to integrate this into my identity as a person. I realize that many of my own kinks are different from many others. By learning here, it gives me the knowledge and self acceptance to explore my own BDSM appetite.

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RE: drives - 5/31/2007 7:14:56 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		what drives me? for the self-improvement of me into something more than when Daddy first met me.

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RE: drives - 5/31/2007 7:21:34 AM   
bbmwst


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		I like being around people with similar interests and those who understand what I am talking about when I say something like "pain can be pleasure when applied correctly". I am a caregiver by nature and a people pleaser and this lifestyle makes it easier for me to find those who can appreciate those attributes as well as the type A personality.

(in reply to murmur)
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RE: drives - 5/31/2007 7:23:56 AM   
ChainedExistence


Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline 		It might be easier to follow along with everyone else, but in the end there is a price to pay for not being true to yourself. I'm not sure what the draw is other than it just feels right and necessary.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
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RE: drives - 5/31/2007 7:39:25 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I suppose I was fortunate to discover my interests a very long time ago.  Fortunate, because it took a while after I had been an adult to finally cast aside the pretense of 'fitting in' with the vanilla world and embrace who I was and what I liked.

From there, exposure to other interests and activities broadened my scope.

For me, I think we need to confront and shatter taboos.  We should have the freedom to explore many things with an open mind up to the point where our discomfort becomes too great or we start bumping into legal limits.

I don't push myself or others just for it's own sake.  I think it is only in this manner that we can see if there's anything about ourselves still to learn.

Jeff

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RE: drives - 5/31/2007 7:43:52 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		When I have lived a regular life I can honestly say I have been overall happy, but when I am owned it is a different and better happy.

It is not about knowing myself better or exploring a darker side, it is just is my personal preference to live this way.

I agree also strongly with LA. Coming into this life there is just as strong as a sheep mentality as the regular world and people in this world struggle just the same with wanting to fit in but also feel special. Know yourself and find someone compatible is the key to being happy in this life as well as a “regular” life and just like in regular life there are a lot of people who are just trading one set of guidelines for another.


< Message edited by toservez -- 5/31/2007 7:44:56 AM >

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RE: drives - 5/31/2007 7:59:09 AM   
mythi


Posts: 257
Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Naples, FL
Status: offline 		I suppose to find others who are living life more freely, passionately, and/or intensely than the norm.  BDSM certainly has it's herd-followers same as any other group, but in general you're more likely to find people who love to explore and experiment and push buttons outside the 'norm'; people who dont accept what's fed to them on someone else's word or at face value.  There's so much both inside us and out in the universe at large...and I've just never understood or been fully comfortable around people who dont want to discover and experience it all as much as possible.

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RE: drives - 5/31/2007 8:04:11 AM   
Tuomas


Posts: 242
Joined: 2/7/2007
Status: offline 		"Adicted" I think is too strong a word to apply to me. I haven't actually given much thought as to what "drives" me in this stuff, but I think it has to do with order. The rest of life seems too conflicting and disorganized, too much hypocrisy and contradiction. This seems a way for me to organize things -even though it is even more disorganized.

Anyway, I have actually seen a stronger drive to "conform" here than in more vanilla settings. It's typical of most "non-conformist" groups to be even more conformist within their own ranks. Of course, this may be just my own skewed perception, since I've never been one to "fit in" with anything....

(in reply to murmur)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: drives - 5/31/2007 8:21:27 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx



For me, I think we need to confront and shatter taboos.  We should have the freedom to explore many things with an open mind up to the point where our discomfort becomes too great or we start bumping into legal limits.


Jeff


Well said Jeff, and it goes directly back to your tagline...know thyself. i embrace the term "bohemian" for i truly am one...most days i literally experience a high just thinking of the endless possiblities of experiences - that is my drive

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: drives - 5/31/2007 8:25:10 AM   
murmur


Posts: 394
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline 		thank you people for your quality-like answers! This passionnate me a great deal, learning a lot from all of you. Being ourself is what makes the world more colorful and rich of ressources. It never ceases to amaze me.

(in reply to Tuomas)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: drives - 5/31/2007 9:33:47 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
What 'drives' me?
It's about being honest with myself and being true to what I am and not lying or settling.
And there are still sheep in BDSM - there are still cliques (not a bad thing) and people still follow the flock.  There is still hero worship and tunnel vision and the thought, as well as need by some, to conform and belong.
Else some people wouldn't insist that there is a BDSM 'Lifestyle'.
 
Peace


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RE: drives - 5/31/2007 9:50:00 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows
Else some people wouldn't insist that there is a BDSM 'Lifestyle'.
 
Peace
I don't insist, I just know I'm right ;)


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: drives - 5/31/2007 10:03:16 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows
Else some people wouldn't insist that there is a BDSM 'Lifestyle'.
 
Peace
I don't insist, I just know I'm right ;)


I'll be the 'judge' of that - and get back to you later...
Peace


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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Profile   Post #: 17
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