RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

BoyLover -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 3:29:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

dawn treader said it better than me ... must be because she is older and therefore able to give advice


There's really no need for you to be sarcastic about it, considering you don't even know me. Yes this is my first time posting on the forum and I read the rules before I got on. Am I to expect an offhand remark everytime I write something that someone else takes out of context?



spanklette -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 3:34:44 PM)

You're all over the place...personally, judging from what you've written, I would seek another therapist (kink friendly, if possible).
 
Humiliation, degradation, objectification can all be delicious or they can be abusive...depends on your point of view. But, in the end, I don't think your question is really a BDSM thing, it's a baggage thing.
 
I don't think that you necessarily need to take a break from the lifestyle, however, I would take a break from relationships for a while. Take this time to empower yourself...otherwise, what power will you be able to transfer to a potential Dominant?
 
Engage in discourse and meet local people, but stay out of the relationship arena for a bit. It may broaden your horizons.
 
Sometimes, the hardest things for survivors of abuse to overcome is that to some extent it was erotic and has changed the way they view sexuality. In fact, for some, it defines their sexuality. I'm not saying that this applies to you, but I would look in the mirror a bit. Do you like who you see there? If you don't, what steps are you going to take to become the person you want to see?
 
 
BTW, CuriousLord: A rapist is not the most Dominant, he is merely the most domineering. I would consider the two vastly different.

Edited for clarity.



softness -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 3:38:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoyLover

I didn't say MEN I said HUMANS. Humans' brains aren't fully formed until their late teens. I also don't think I was being volatile at all. It's my opinion about guys 20 and under whom I've met on this site. I don't see how I was attaking anyone. Forums are meant to express our opinions and mine is that a 20-year-old cannot give me good advice about being a master/mistress. I don't know why this bothers u so much. Perhaps it's because u are around the same age? It was also in response to the complete posting so I hope you didn't just read that part.



The human brain is able to function at its highest congnitive ability well before it is fully formed from a physcial persepctive, so irregardless of whether you comment was made to be informative or insulting, it is a vacant statement. And for future reference; Misanthropy comes from a greek word used to describe beligerant behaviour towards mankind in general, not to males in particular.

I was directed to this thread by others who interpreted your words as inflammatory, barbed and derogatory in several respects. So I add my opinion to theirs. You asked for peoples opinions in you OP, here is mine, being calm in your dealings with others will get better results. If you think you are already doing this, congratulations.

I am bothered by attacks against people my own age as clueless, because it is insulting to my own intelligence, insight and experience. I would never claim to have all the answers, nor would I shout down someone with greater experience in a matter. I do find however that seeing well meaning advice being dismissed purely on the advisors age difficult to take. I have no insecurities about my own experience, my age, or my ability to give advice. I think i am in a good postion to offer others advice in many areas, and i am not so arrogant as to believe i am the only 20 something in that position.  





dawntreader -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 3:42:34 PM)

Greetings BoyLover,
 
As i am older than you, would you consider me more experienced in sexual relationships? More experienced in BDSM than CuriousLord?
 
The topic of age, maturity and experienced has been debated on these forums to nauseum with no conclusion. You most certainly have a right to your opinion but at the choice to humiliate someone that took the time to post to you? i read his post - i thought it was sound and i still have no clue how old he is! You have openly expressed on this thread your sexual issues, i read your profile and my opinion was - damn! i feel sorry for any young male sub that is the recipient of your unresolved mental and sexual issues. But i didn't post that until you go tearing someone up about their age and advice. i have been quite open on these boards that my first experience with D/s was last year with a 23 yr old and i can assure you when i was on my knees i was not thinking about his age - Quite possibly Curiouslord has a great deal more experience being a Dominant than you will ever have~



softness -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 3:49:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoyLover

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

dawn treader said it better than me ... must be because she is older and therefore able to give advice


There's really no need for you to be sarcastic about it, considering you don't even know me. Yes this is my first time posting on the forum and I read the rules before I got on. Am I to expect an offhand remark everytime I write something that someone else takes out of context?


trust me ... a comment such as that .. will be the least of what you will see here



BoyLover -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 3:58:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I was directed to this thread by others who interpreted your words as inflammatory, barbed and derogatory in several respects. So I add my opinion to theirs. You asked for peoples opinions in you OP, here is mine, being calm in your dealings with others will get better results. If you think you are already doing this, congratulations  



Directed to my thread? What does that mean? Why am I being attacked here? And I asked for advice based on my orginal post, not for commentary on my responses to the advice. You added ur opinion about the 20-year-old comment--having my words picked apart is certainly not what I was expecting. I tried as not to make it personal but it obviously came out that way:  I'M SORRY. All this has done is kinda make me not want to be on the forum anymore. Is this your goal?



BoyLover -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 4:01:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoyLover

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

dawn treader said it better than me ... must be because she is older and therefore able to give advice


There's really no need for you to be sarcastic about it, considering you don't even know me. Yes this is my first time posting on the forum and I read the rules before I got on. Am I to expect an offhand remark everytime I write something that someone else takes out of context?


trust me ... a comment such as that .. will be the least of what you will see here



Oh so I can't say anything but you can threaten me by saying that I will be hearing worse than that? So I'm allowed to be insulted? That's ok? LOL What the....



spanklette -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 4:09:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoyLover

Oh so I can't say anything but you can threaten me by saying that I will be hearing worse than that? So I'm allowed to be insulted? That's ok? LOL What the....



I don't think it was a threat, much more a generalization about the flame wars that constantly erupt. She wasn't lying. If you stick around, you will see worse than that...maybe not directed at you, though. Maybe we read her comment differently.[:)]
 
*shrugs* But, then again, this is the internet. What do you expect?
 



BoyLover -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 4:13:53 PM)

Thanks, Spanklette. 



spanklette -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 4:19:39 PM)

No worries. [;)]
 
I just hate to see an OP hijack their own thread.[:D]



softness -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 4:27:33 PM)

just for clarification .. I wasn't threatening anybody .. I was replying to dawntreader not directing my comment to the OP personally. I was merely saying that an off hand sarcastic comment is the least of what gets exchanged on these threads

I apologise if my flippant comment upset the OP to the extent they feel attacked



dawntreader -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 4:48:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

No worries. [;)]
 
I just hate to see an OP hijack their own thread.[:D]


ROFL!!!!!



BoyLover -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 4:48:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

Greetings BoyLover,
 
As i am older than you, would you consider me more experienced in sexual relationships? More experienced in BDSM than CuriousLord?
 
The topic of age, maturity and experienced has been debated on these forums to nauseum with no conclusion. You most certainly have a right to your opinion but at the choice to humiliate someone that took the time to post to you? i read his post - i thought it was sound and i still have no clue how old he is! You have openly expressed on this thread your sexual issues, i read your profile and my opinion was - damn! i feel sorry for any young male sub that is the recipient of your unresolved mental and sexual issues. But i didn't post that until you go tearing someone up about their age and advice. i have been quite open on these boards that my first experience with D/s was last year with a 23 yr old and i can assure you when i was on my knees i was not thinking about his age - Quite possibly Curiouslord has a great deal more experience being a Dominant than you will ever have~


I might have been ageist but I certainly wouldn't call it humiliation or "tearing someone up." And I apologized if that was the case.

There's really no need to pity my subs. They don't feel sorry for themselves and are fully aware of what they're getting into. Besides, all I've gotten is compassion IF I even decided to open up about my personal problems. We all say "fine" when someone asks how our day was regardless of what we're feeling inside. If I'm a Mistress then a strong, confident, demanding one is what they get; if I can't give that due to my "sexual and mental issues," well, they're free to look elsewhere. Interesting how they stick around. I'll share my shit but I'll never make u wear it.

This is my second profile on collarme. The first openly expressed my desire but inability to submit and mentioned my "sexual issues." But I still got pages of messages within my first 2 weeks; and more within 2 days of my second profile. I have Doms STILL wanting to see me from my first profile--and I've already bled my heart out to them. This is because regardless of my problems (and, please, not even Ghandi was able to go thru life without "unresolved" issues) I am fully aware of who I am; I embrace the mistakes. Just as I will learn from today. I'm the first to admit I'm fucked up. I can be honest with myself. That garners a lot of respect. So, please, don't feel sorry for anyone.

It's interesting how a post about disrespecting others ends with an insult.



BoyLover -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 4:59:13 PM)

OP? I'm taking a guess here . . . original poster? 



softness -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 5:01:06 PM)

that would be correct



spanklette -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 5:03:30 PM)

Good guess...original post or original poster. It's used both ways.[:)]



dawntreader -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 5:09:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoyLover


I'm the first to admit I'm fucked up. I can be honest with myself. That garners a lot of respect. .



No, respect is earned. Being honest is just that...being honest - nothing more or less~



MadRabbit -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 5:15:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoyLover

It's interesting how a post about disrespecting others ends with an insult.



I'm surprised you made it this far without being the subject of more mockery. I was predicting more.



BoyLover -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 5:16:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoyLover


I'm the first to admit I'm fucked up. I can be honest with myself. That garners a lot of respect. .



No, respect is earned. Being honest is just that...being honest - nothing more or less~


Oh dang! This is like the press. Now I know how famous ppl feel when they're quoted out of context--3 lines taken from a 4-paragraph post! So you're trying to insult me and the only thing u can come up with is saying I'm not respected? Oh, you don't want to give me kudos for being honest either, eh? Go pick on someone else . . . You're starting to get personal.



softness -> RE: Semantics or Mother Nature's Design? (5/31/2007 5:23:42 PM)

welcome to the internet

things get taken out of context day after day after day .. the only thing you can do is make sure you dont put anything out there you are not prepared to have picked apart

and I dont believe anyone is being cruel towards you or persecuting you, people are merely directing comments towards you



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875