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RE: Online vs. In Person lifestyles - 6/2/2007 2:04:50 PM

Sinergy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CirclMastr

Hmm. Well, I got accepted in the OCMunch group, but it's on hiatus and not having munches or meetings.

There is a South Bay Munch. An Inland Empire Munch. A San Diego Munch.

There is an event at the Sportsman's Lodge in association with the Lair D' Sade. (www.eroticpowerexchange.com) was the web site for the Lair.

Search around, you will find them.

Failing finding them, go to the Lair on the night they have their "anybody can attend" events and ask around.

Sinergy

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RE: Online vs. In Person lifestyles - 6/2/2007 2:06:40 PM

CirclMastr

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The problem with those is travel time. I have to work it around work and/or classes, depending on the day.

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RE: Online vs. In Person lifestyles - 6/2/2007 2:08:00 PM

SingleRarity

Posts: 320
Joined: 9/13/2006
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quote:

Screw the Roses - Send me the thorns - Philip Millar/Molly Devon

I found this book to be very educational when I was first starting out. It's written from the perspective of both sides and contains a fair amount of humor that made it easier to digest for me.

A quick google search resulted in a few promising leads:

http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html#California
http://www.domsubfriends.com/cgi-local/wwwdir/db.cgi?db=org&uid=default&state=CALIFORNIA&view_records=View+Records&ww=on
http://www.keysmunch.com/index.php?sp=6
http://www.drkdesyre.com/meetppl/orgs/orgscalif_s.html#oc

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RE: Online vs. In Person lifestyles - 6/2/2007 2:11:38 PM

Sinergy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CirclMastr

The problem with those is travel time. I have to work it around work and/or classes, depending on the day.

I understand.

The second option would be to try to start one of your own. Or contact the person in charge of the OCMunch group and ask why they are on haitus. I suspect they will tell you that the person organizing it got busy in life, had a kid, moved to Fiji, or something, and nobody else wants to step up to do what is required to make it happen.

I tend to think that what a person gets out of something is directly proportional to the amount somebody puts into it. I myself dont spend much time at munches because attending them has not lately made it to the top of my to-do list.

Sinergy

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David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

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RE: Online vs. In Person lifestyles - 6/2/2007 3:14:38 PM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aSlavesLife

How in the hell do you push your limits online? Oh, wait, I see.... I'm afraid of heights, deathly afraid of heights. But online I can stand atop a virtual skyscraper and gaze down upon the cyber cityscape and be totally at ease. Wow, I really overcame my hard limit! Now I am going to rack up 50,000 hours of simulated combat experience playing Splinter Cell, then go tell my father what a wimp he is in comparison because of his lesser combat time in Vietnam.

And while you're at it, ask your Poppa how much time the Air Force made him spend getting virtual instruction in a virtual flight trainer, on the ground, before he ever flew a mission. The effectiveness of virtual training had been established beyond doubt for a long while before that little war your dad helped America lose in S.E. Asia. Then if you're still feeling open-minded and inquisitive you can go see how tremendously much more the Air Force relies on virtual interaction as a component of training today than it did in the Viet Nam era.

I don't know which is more pathetic, your intolerance of things you plainly don't understand or the apparent lack of imagination which underlies it.

For shit's sake, people interact profoundly across centuries through literature. Lives are changed. Maybe you are unaware of this. And that's all done with the handicap of operating without two-way interaction. Can you really not wrap your head around the potential power of all the media at our disposal today for interpersonal communication?

For some of us this this isn't a 100% physical thing with no psychological or emotional components, though if you're content with the rewards you find in a single dimension I wish you all the best with it. Or maybe you enjoy the psychological, emotional and even spiritual components of BDSM, too, but happen to absolutely need physical interaction as a means to access those. That's cool. But what license do you think you have to insult people who happen to be capable of doing more with less than you are able to do? I'm not saying they are better than you but rather asking why you think they are worse.

To the OP I'll offer that though power-exchange and S&M played some role in my adult relationships all along, I never had a relationship founded and focused on these dynamics until I did so on the internet. After some months online I met my first such partner and even though as relative noobs we each made some unfortunate moves, the basis we had established with imaginative use of communication served us very well from the very first moment we met in person. I wish you similar good fortune.

Years (and several wonderful relationships) later I'm marrying one of those partners I first met and interacted with--and, yes, dominated--via long-distance rather than face-to-face communications. This fact probably has something to do with my amusement at those who say it simply can't be done.

As a matter of strictly personal preference it is a huge red flag to me to see someone deriding the potential for power-exchange-at-a-distance and personal growth through shared communication. I mean if it can happen face-to-face it can happen from the next room, right? And if it can happen from the next room it can happen from continents away as long as all parties act with sincerity. Note that I say that as a guy who has for some years had another treasured partner living in the upsidedown hemisphere.

It is fine to simply prefer strictly physical interaction. Fine with me, anyway.

Beyond considerations of preference, people who require physical interaction to enforce sincerity or overcome mistrust have just as much right to be kinky as I do, and to do it their way. I wish them the best in finding one another.

That some of these people seem to think themselves superior to the rest of us is what I find amusing.

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RE: Online vs. In Person lifestyles - 6/2/2007 3:47:18 PM

Joseff

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Although you've already found one, here's the process to finding a locaal munch: Proceed to your nearest search engine. (Google, etc...) Type in the word munch, space, your town, city, etc... Hit "Go".
Joseff

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RE: Online vs. In Person lifestyles - 6/3/2007 8:50:48 AM

shedreamz

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Joined: 10/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic

The really important thing to keep in mind is to communicate, communicate, communicate. Again, when you have a real human being under your control, you must understand what turns them on, what doesn't. You must be able to handle an emotional emergency; something seemingly very innocent can set off a terrible memory in the sub's mind and suddenly instead of having fun, she is crying and afraid.

This advice you got from Sir Dominic is AWESOME! Paste it to your fridge or something!!! Seriously. As a sub who has met literally 100 dominants over the years (gosh maybe even more than that), I can tell you that the ones that have kept me engaged and who have gottten the most in the power dynamic, are those who follow these "guidelines" that SirD posted for you. Good luck!

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RE: Online vs. In Person lifestyles - 6/3/2007 9:24:09 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CirclMastr

The problem with those is travel time. I have to work it around work and/or classes, depending on the day.

I hear you - it can be tough! Between work and classes, I don't often have a lot of free time.

It may, however, be worth taking a night off of work 3-4 times a year to attend a munch or other function. Certainly, if you were in a relationship, you would probably do that for "date nights" or the like - it may well be worth the investment of time.

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RE: Online vs. In Person lifestyles - 6/3/2007 9:27:30 AM

happypervert

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quote:

And while you're at it, ask your Poppa how much time the Air Force made him spend getting virtual instruction in a virtual flight trainer, on the ground, before he ever flew a mission.

Interesting analogy, but I don't think on-line D/s can be compared to simulators because it is one person interacting with a computer program. However, the "pilots" of the drones are engaging in real warfare and blowing the enemy to smithereens, so perhaps that might be the better anlaogy to use . . . but I still wouldn't expect aSlavesLife to grasp the significance of it.

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RE: Online vs. In Person lifestyles - 6/3/2007 9:32:06 AM

MisterAndMistres

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Joined: 7/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CirclMastr
For instance, how much of my (admittedly limited) experience online will carry over into real life?

Very little. That isn't to say you will have a hard time of becoming a "real life" dominant, as much as it means that whatever you have done online will not make the process any easier. If you are a dominant, you will be fine...

quote:

How do they significantly differ?

In just about every way. Online is like reading a book on horseback riding, real life is like riding a horse.

quote:

How do I get started with the lifestyle in person, and what sort of things do I need to keep in mind?

Ummm...find a girl, ask her if she wants to be dominated. If she says yes, let your gut tell you what to do next. If you can't do that, quit now. *smile*

Keep in mind the "if she says yes" part.

Taggard

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RE: Online vs. In Person lifestyles - 6/3/2007 10:58:12 AM

aSlavesLife

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

quote:

ORIGINAL: aSlavesLife

How in the hell do you push your limits online? Oh, wait, I see.... I'm afraid of heights, deathly afraid of heights. But online I can stand atop a virtual skyscraper and gaze down upon the cyber cityscape and be totally at ease. Wow, I really overcame my hard limit! Now I am going to rack up 50,000 hours of simulated combat experience playing Splinter Cell, then go tell my father what a wimp he is in comparison because of his lesser combat time in Vietnam.

And while you're at it, ask your Poppa how much time the Air Force made him spend getting virtual instruction in a virtual flight trainer, on the ground, before he ever flew a mission. The effectiveness of virtual training had been established beyond doubt for a long while before that little war your dad helped America lose in S.E. Asia. Then if you're still feeling open-minded and inquisitive you can go see how tremendously much more the Air Force relies on virtual interaction as a component of training today than it did in the Viet Nam era.

As he was in the Marines, the Air Force had him do no simulations. And what are simulations for, anyway? Why, to get people ready for reality! For shits sake, I don't know which is more pathetic, people insisting that a simulation is reality, or people that are intelligent enough to know better but still pathetically trying to pretend that it is. As I have said on other posts, I understand why people cannot be real time, I really do. There is no superiority issue here, but a reality one. It is intellectually dishonest for people to claim that a simulation is the same as reality. Hell, you are making that clear by marrying someone. You aren't virtually marrying her, are you? For what it is worth, I am happy that you have matured enough to move into real life, even though you won't admit its superiority over simulation, your choice of taking your relationship real time prove my point far better than anything I could say. Otherwise you would just virtually marry her and keep it all on line.

Owner of slave L

< Message edited by aSlavesLife -- 6/3/2007 10:59:43 AM >

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RE: Online vs. In Person lifestyles - 6/3/2007 11:06:47 AM

kyraofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah
Years (and several wonderful relationships) later I'm marrying one of those partners I first met and interacted with--and, yes, dominated--via long-distance rather than face-to-face communications. This fact probably has something to do with my amusement at those who say it simply can't be done.

Hey, congratulations, Noah!!

Is it who I think it is?

Knight's kyra

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