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MsSilvie -> RE: masturbation (5/24/2005 4:54:01 AM)
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I'm with the majority on this one. The only thing you will accomplish by spiking his lube is that starting next time, he has a secret stash of lube that you don't know about. You are going from disobedience to disobedience plus deception. Not an improvement in the situation.
No one has brought up the concept of rewarding him well for NOT masturbating. Too many people involved in bdsm think only in the terms of punishment. If you make a study of behavior modification, which anyone calling themselves a Dom/me should, you find out that positive reinforcement of desired behavior is generally more effective than punishing a behavior that you want to extinguish.
Masturbation is self rewarding and self reinforcing. A chastity device would certainly work to prevent masturbation. A tube or CB can also add an element of physical reinforcement in a D/s situation, which both parties find appealing. Ideally, in my view, you should not NEED a physical device to reinforce obedience. To make an analogy, my dog works very well on leash. But it is not the leash that makes him listen to me, he also listens when the leash isn't there. He listens to me because he's trained to do that, leash or not. The leash is just a physical device that shows he's my dog. It's not the greatest of analogies, but I think it helps.
So, I would say, reward him for not masturbating. Make him WANT to comply with what you want, both because he wants to please you, and because what he gets from compliance is more rewarding than masturbation. Long term, that is going to be a dynamic that serves you better than a fear of punishment.
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