RE: BDSM vs SWINGING

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RE: BDSM vs SWINGING - 6/2/2007 6:19:42 PM

littledove00

Posts: 50
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

they can stand alone, or together. nothing has to be one rigid way. i'm with a couple, and love the life we all lead.

(in reply to princessisabella)

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RE: BDSM vs SWINGING - 6/2/2007 6:54:21 PM

stella40

Posts: 417
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: London, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy

As far as being owned and then being lent out to others, some owners feel that, as their property, they can decide what to do with you and that includes letting others use you. That's why it is so very important to discuss all aspects of what the owner will expect from the property BEFORE you say "Yes, I will accept your collar and become your property." Ask and ask some more, until you feel comfortable about what exactly you will be getting into.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

This is so true. But owning someone just as owning something isn't justification in itself. No matter who or what you own there has to be a relationship.

Owning a pair of shoes, a lawnmower or a bicycle isn't the same as owning a house, a personal computer, a car or a pet.

I don't have the same issues lending someone my lawnmower as I do my apartment or computer.

I also wouldn't advertise on the Internet looking for people to borrow my apartment or computer. Similarly, I like dogs but wouldn't respond to an ad on the Internet from someone offering to lend me their dog.

If I'm owned either as a submissive or a slave I place myself in the same category as the house, the computer and the pet. I'm a quality item, and owning me requires sacrifice.

But this is just my opinion, and one of many you're bound to come across when you ask other people.

_____________________________

I try to take one day at a time, but several days come and attack me at once. (Jennifer Unlimited)

If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

(in reply to slavegirljoy)

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RE: BDSM vs SWINGING - 6/2/2007 7:53:58 PM

Braddock

Posts: 5
Joined: 4/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

The reason i ask is because i keep getting e-mails from older males telling me how they want to claim me, collar me as their own, and then share me with their friends and strangers. I don't get it. Why bother claiming me and going to the trouble of collaring me if they just want to share me with any male that comes along. Are we nothing more than whores and sluts to these males? When i questioned them about this they all say the same thing, that it's considered swinging and very much a part of BDSM. I'd just like to have it clarified by more than just these males.

If the guys who are messaging you about passing you out to friends and strangers are calling that swinging, then maybe they need the help with the definitions, not you.

Swinging = couples in some way having casual sexual relations with other couples.

Open relationship = non-monogomous pairing that allows one or both partners to go outside the primary relationship for sex.

Polyamory = more than one loving partnership at a time, usually to satisfy different needs.

BDSM = Bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism - which may or may not even include sex.

The part they're talking about, that they refer to as BDSM, is humiliation and property ownership. That's more a factor of the D/s, M/s, Owner/owned IMPLIED connotations of the BDSM label. Some subs/slaves get off on knowing that power over their bodies is completely in the hands of their Dom/mes or Owners. Some get off on being humiliated and showing their dedication to said persons in charge by flashing in public, sleeping with whomever is designated, crawling around on the floor with a tray of teacups balanced on their heads...whatever.

Whatever works.

They're assuming that as a sub or a slave you also like to be property, and humiliated to boot.

My sub DOES like to be shown off, humiliated some, be treated as a sex object - and be totally safe to live out her fantasies due to her absolute trust in Me. But that isn't everybody's cup of tea, and many of the scene people I know are totally monogamous. I've been labeled at various times as a swinger, a poly, and a Dom but none of the three means that my sub should feel like she HAS to be passed around like a bong at a frat party in order to be a sub at all, especially if that wasn't what she wanted. She serves as we agreed that she would serve, and that's specific to every relationship.

The guys who are messaging you are just making assumptions, and therefore making asses out of umption - and themselves. You choose under what terms you serve, and then you find a master whom you can serve in full trust under those terms. Being the party treat for his friends only happens if you want it to.

~B

< Message edited by Braddock -- 6/2/2007 7:55:36 PM >

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

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Post #: 23