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A submissives predicament - 6/2/2007 12:22:08 PM

Mirko

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Joined: 12/12/2006
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Update-I think the topics title is slightly mis-leading, and I hope that the following text clarifies the topic.

am having a slight problem right now, I do not think most submissives have this problem, but I am having trouble coming up with what I can offer a Domme.

Here is my predicament: The select Domme is open to types of services that can provide help, but this excludes maid services and handyman services. I am trying to think of this like a resume, what skills can I offer that I truly exceed in, and would be most useful. Has any Domme or submissive had this problem before?

I have many skills to offer, mainly my business skills and I'm very athletic, and have been trying to work on becoming a personal trainer. Besides a maid or handyman what do you think would be something that you would look for?

It is not easy being a good potential slave.

< Message edited by Mirko -- 6/2/2007 12:57:17 PM >

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RE: A submissives predicament - 6/2/2007 1:25:49 PM

Politesub53

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Welcome to the boards....All you can do is list relevant skills on your profile and also maybe learn some new skills that may be found more useful. Its easy to focus more on what you cant offer than on what you can offer.

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RE: A submissives predicament - 6/2/2007 2:40:22 PM

thetammyjo

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Have you read the Miss Abernathy books? There are a few exercises in it that can help one figure out what type of slave (or submissive I guess) you are most drawn toward or skilled for. Then that type has further exercises to help you improve and identify skills.

Going through that might help you see more variations that you could think of yourself.

Of course, as Fox would tell you if you ever are the only sub or slave you will end up doing all of it regardless of what you are most drawn toward or skilled with. You will learn the skills necessary as you go especially if you have someone willing and happy to help you learn and take things slowly.

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RE: A submissives predicament - 6/2/2007 6:05:15 PM

MistressTaboo

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Can you cook? Do her book keeping? Are you willing to learn whatever she would request of you? Can you provide her with intelligent conversation? Or can you only talk sports and TV? Do you dress up well and take her places she hasn't been before? Domme's aren't that different than vanilla women. What can you offer a vanilla woman?

The young subs that do my house cleaning or handy man service come and go...but the male subs that can cook and carry on an intelligent conversation that doesn't have the words "dude" "ya know" have been with me forever. No, they don't clean my house, or fix the leaky sink. I can call them and say "I want to go to symphony" and we can go. I know even if they don't enjoy it they won't make snide remarks or are annoying. They can be vanilla enough to be around family. One boy offered to take my father deep sea fishing on his boat! Ya can't buy that kind of loyalty! We had a fairly vanilla dinner a while back. While the guests were all kinky, it wasn’t a play party we were just getting together to eat. One of the Domme’s didn’t have a sub or a date (it was mostly couples) I called one of the older boys and he spent the evening being her ‘date’. He made sure her drink was full, went outside with her when she smoked. Talked to her about a variety of non BDSM subjects and even flirted with her. It was wonderful. But he did it in such a fashion that she didn’t feel patronized and I really don’t think just any guy could have pulled it off. No he has never mowed my lawn or fixed the plumbing but he made me very proud to call him mine that night. Ya know where the lawn mower boys were that night? In the kitchen cooking and cleaning.

Or you could ask the women in question....Tell her...I'd love to serve you but I'm at a loss...maid service and handyman are not my strong points. Do you have anything that needs to be done that you think I could help you in? Most women will find something just to see how you behave and follow instructions.

I had one potential sub go into a store and see if they had a certain kind of candy...because I didn't want to drive an hour and find out they didn't. He went and even took picures of it for me...I could have called the store...but I wanted to see if he would do it no matter how trivial it seemed to him. He served till he moved.

I can hire a plumber or a maid...I can't hire brains...

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RE: A submissives predicament - 6/2/2007 6:13:44 PM

hardbodysub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Welcome to the boards....All you can do is list relevant skills on your profile and also maybe learn some new skills that may be found more useful. Its easy to focus more on what you cant offer than on what you can offer.

I think the problem here is knowing what's "relevant". That knowledge can only come from the domme, or your knowledge of her. We can list our own abilities and skill sets, we can make educated guesses about what she might find useful, but without knowing her, or getting input from her, it's really a crapshoot, no matter what anybody says.

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RE: A submissives predicament - 6/2/2007 7:41:31 PM

LadyDominaX

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From the perspective of a Domme recovering from a badly sprained ankle, someone who can provide massage & assist me in getting back into my former workout routines would be a benefit. Someone who can carry on an intelligent and amusing conversation is always an asset.
Advice I heard a long time ago; read the paper every morning and try to remember a few of the more prominent stories. Don't worry so much about forming an opnion on them, just get the facts down. You can then carry on a conversation about current events if nothing else.

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RE: A submissives predicament - 6/2/2007 9:57:26 PM

pixelslave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mirko
I have many skills to offer, mainly my business skills and I'm very athletic, and have been trying to work on becoming a personal trainer. Besides a maid or handyman what do you think would be something that you would look for?

If you have business skills, stop and think for a moment about what all that entails! That likely means you have people skills, a certain amount of computer skills, writing & organizational skills, accounting & financial or money management skills, perhaps some advertising experience, certainly time management, and a whole slew of other things. I just don't care to list all of the possibilities at the moment as I'm sure you should be able to assess your own specific skills on your own.

If you're a personal trainer, that tells me you either know or probably ought to know a lot about nutrician and planning a proper diet, not just the body's muscles and exercises for them. Presumably you've also learned a lot about stretching. Have you also learned anything of self massage or giving one as well? As you're already familiar with the muscular-skeleto system, I'd think it would come very easy to you. I've never met a Domme that doesn't love having a therapeutic or a sensual massage for that matter from someone who understands the body and what they're doing!

You might look back a couple weeks ago when Kitte9 posted her question on what skills Dommes might want their subs to learn. It should only be a couple pages back.

- pixel

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RE: A submissives predicament - 6/3/2007 4:22:58 PM

Mirko

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Id like to thank everyone for replying, y'all have given me some good ideas to use for the future, and it does not look like it will be working out, but it happens.

(in reply to pixelslave)

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