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What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/3/2007 12:47:51 PM

rollinonward05

Posts: 78
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline

I had thought i had found a friend here on CM , someone to just chat with, pick each others brains ( about being a slave , grocery shopping just about anything) when something was brought to my attention by another here. This same person , who had a profile that said she was a unowned slave seeking a Master also had god only knows how many other profiles on here. The two i was told about and asked her about and she admitted having were -another slave, different age but with a more deep profile of what she was looking for in a Dom ( marriage minded, romance, the ability to make her melt) and then still another profile that said she was a sub but could not find a Dom who could actually control her as she was very bratty.
I don't know how i feel about this person except it seems she can't make up her mind what or who she is or what she wants. Or if this is just some kind of game she plays for her own entertainment. I do feel a bit hurt that the friend i thought i had had was not really the person i thought she was. But hey live and learn right. Move onwards. :)
Anyway i would like opinions of others here in why they think a person would make up something like this? Could it be their own insecurities? Or just their kicks?

Post #: 1

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/3/2007 12:49:16 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Are you sure it's even a woman?

(in reply to rollinonward05)

Post #: 2

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/3/2007 12:59:25 PM

gothicdiva

Posts: 111
Joined: 2/16/2005
Status: offline

How did you figure out that this person has multiple profiles if they are posting different demographics, ie. age, etc.? Is she/he posting the same pic? Did you ask the person WHY they have so many profiles? I have seen one guy that has three seperate profiles on here...I don't know why he can't put all the info. on one profile. More interesting to me are the ones that are "sub" in one and "dominant" in another...why not just have one and label yourself as a "switch?" Or even worse....men that say they are "straight" on one profile and another one that says they are "bi." Yet another guy is looking for a Domme in one of his profiles and then specifically for BLACK Dommes ONLY in his other. It's not like he is trying to hide as he has the same pic on both profiles. Maybe they have multiples personalities or they just don't know exactly what they want? Apparently, they are trying to attract different types of people with the different profiles. However, I just don't see the sense in having multiple profiles.

Be well,
M. Diva

(in reply to rollinonward05)

Post #: 3

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/3/2007 1:04:02 PM

TheHeretic

Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline

Some probably look at it like playing multiple bingo cards. It would certainly make me wonder about the truth of any of it if I were in the market though.

_____________________________

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.

(in reply to rollinonward05)

Post #: 4

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/3/2007 1:49:19 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

Multiple bingo cards...how funny and true I suppose.

I have no idea why others would have more than one profile and why they choose to make them all very different.

I had a second profile for a brief time that stated simply I needed a chore boy. I found said person and profile is now gone. I did mention in the journal of my "main" profile that I had created the second as I had no interest in deception of any kind. I chose to use a second profile because my main profile is based in finding "The one for me" and I didn't want to try to find someone to come clean for me who started off thinking "ok I'll clean now and one day....." you get the picture.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to TheHeretic)

Post #: 5

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/3/2007 1:49:35 PM

mp072004

Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline

Hm, that's a new one--creating a profile for all of your desired relationships. I don't think it means that she can't make up her mind about what she wants--there's no earthly reason why your friend couldn't have both a romantic, melting relationship with one dominant and a more discipline-oriented one with another. I do think it's an odd and misleading way to organize multiple desired relationships, however, and that she might benefit from thinking how to better organize her relationships and time.

I know some switches on here maintain one profile as a dominant, and another as a submissive. I have a profile as me alone and a "couple" profile shared with my primary partner, because I enjoy dyad relationships (i.e. me and a bottom/submissive/slave/servant/whatever) and triads (i.e. me, my primary, a bottom/submissive etc.) and I've seen that few other dominant couples on here do this--it's sensible, considering that the matchmaking portion of the site focuses on searches. But while I don't maintain a different profile for each kind of relationship I want, I do want multiple qualities of relationships, and I'm okay with getting those desires met with different people. I think my profile says, for example, that I'm looking for someone to provide domestic service, and someone to receive pain, and that they don't have to be the same person. I generally think that's a better and clearer way to organize your relationships than what your friend is doing--perhaps you could direct her to this thread, as I imagine others have had/will have useful advice, too.

(in reply to rollinonward05)

Post #: 6

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/3/2007 2:53:21 PM

maledave7

Posts: 142
Joined: 8/4/2006
Status: offline

Maybe they think it would narrow their search too small. That no one in their area matches to what they are looking for. They are not sure to what they are looking for.
I prefer to have one profile. I desire to be honest to what I am looking for. It may take some time to find a Domme, but worth the waited.

(in reply to rollinonward05)

Post #: 7

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/3/2007 4:15:38 PM

Einzelganger

Posts: 221
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
Status: offline

I'd be rather suspicious of someone with multiple profiles if they're not linked directly to one another as earthycouple mentioned.

-Einzelgänger

(in reply to maledave7)

Post #: 8

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/3/2007 5:23:47 PM

HaveRopeWillBind

Posts: 514
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline

Rollin,

Are you sure that all these profiles were posted by the same person? Theft of photos does occur on here after all. I have seen one set of the same photos appear on at least 6 different profiles here and one on AOL. Of course it's easy to figure if the one you are chatting with is real, just ask for a new photo holding a current newspaper. If the person in question can do that then they are likely genuine. Of course there is still the chance that one person may have produced multiple profiles. They might be schizo, or more likely, not entirely honest. As in any human relationship you have to use judgement to decide if you are being conned or not.

(in reply to rollinonward05)

Post #: 9

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/3/2007 9:18:28 PM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

Never get surprised by what you see in cyber world.

Who knows what people who are less then honest get out of it outside some extra attention but if they are sincere, it is a common problem just communicated differently. A person who just does not know who they are or what they really need or in some combination of the two that usually spells doom for any relationship they might enter into.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to rollinonward05)

Post #: 10

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/4/2007 6:30:11 AM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

To the OP

You say this person is a friend. Apparently you have, at the very least, struck up a chord of compatibility. If this person is actually a friend, why would it bother you for her to have three thousand profiles?

If she's not actually a friend you call and chat with, at least by phone, if this person is an Internet only friend, I ask again - why does it matter how many profiles she has?

I realize that there is an aura of distrust about who she is since she has so many profiles, but it seems to me that friends are people who know who one is and likes them anyway. Is she any less a friend because she is "Dom shopping"?

This person is the same person she has always been, regardless of your knowledge of who and what she is. She has not changed - your perception of her has changed. Unless you had a personal stake in the issue I really don't see the problem.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 11

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/4/2007 6:32:38 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

So why does it matter to you if she has two profiles up when those profiles are about her seeking an interpersonal relationship and your interest is in friendship only?

Whether she identifies as switch in one and sub in another doesn't effect your conversations about dinner and such.

(in reply to slaveish)

Post #: 12

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/4/2007 6:35:39 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

I keep wanting to make an extra profile so that I can ask stoopid questions without being laughed at!

Seriously I do.

It wouldn't be for deceptive purposes.. more like self-preservation

because I have a TON of weird random questions.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 13

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/4/2007 8:02:03 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

I keep wanting to make an extra profile so that I can ask stoopid questions without being laughed at!

Seriously I do.

It wouldn't be for deceptive purposes.. more like self-preservation because I have a TON of weird random questions.

Now my curiousity is piqued...I wanna read weird random cjenny questions *S*

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 14

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/4/2007 10:42:48 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

I think some people approach personal ads with a business-like attitude...as in multiple resumes. I, personally, have multiple resumes pointing out different qualities and experiences, even though I am the same person. It just makes me stand out more to the person who is looking at a particular resume. I hope that makes sense.

And, I've have friends here who have two profiles...one as a Dominant and one as a submissive. If you meet them in person, they will tell you that they are a switch, but the online medium for searching tends towards looking to one end of the spectrum or the other. I probably wouldn't do it myself, as it is enough hassle answering one mailbox full of mail. To each their own, though.

I think I would ask my friend before I dismissed her friendship because you think this practice is dishonest. At least, if I valued the friendship I would.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to rollinonward05)

Post #: 15

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/5/2007 12:13:40 PM

complaisant2u

Posts: 18
Joined: 3/28/2007
From: near Augusta, GA
Status: offline

I don't think you should move onward if you think it's just the person doesn't know what she wants when it comes to D/s. That in itself could give you two lots to chat about. Afterall you're just chatting. If you now longer think they are "real" then yea I agree. I also wouldn't be motivated to return emails or spend time chatting with a fictional online entity. You won't know unless you talk to them and believe what you're told.

I think the biggest reason for online identity obfuscation is the inherent geographical seperation & anonymity. People like it. It's a gift and a curse. It's allowed more information about D/s to be published on the web and even opportunities for sites like this to put people together. And it's just great for shy people. But it also allows nasty people to find people to abuse. It can add a frustrating level of fakeness to the whole process of internet dating and interpersonal communcation. I think if someone really believe in the possiblities of making friends online and serious about doing that then they'll make significant efforts to come across as real.

(in reply to spanklette)

Post #: 16

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/5/2007 3:05:19 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

I keep wanting to make an extra profile so that I can ask stoopid questions without being laughed at!

Seriously I do.

It wouldn't be for deceptive purposes.. more like self-preservation because I have a TON of weird random questions.

I did that. Now, this HAS to cause people to start wondering "what MORE random weirdness could little sarbonn POSSIBLY need to ask"?

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 17

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/5/2007 8:26:20 PM

goodgirl85

Posts: 221
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

I had a friend (no really I promise this really happened to a friend not to me) who started to talking to this guy online. They chatted for several weeks daily, then when my friends internet service got shut down, she used mine for a few minutes to talk to this guy and they exchanged addresses to be pen pals. After several letters in which my friend poured her out to this guy, told him personal things and learned personal things about him-- his divorce, his kids, how difficult times were for him-- she actually thought about meeting him.

Well at my house on night, she went online just to clean her email out and check her offline messages and there he was.... I told her I didn't mind her talking to him, as I had to clean up a bit. Well she mentioned the idea about meeting and he said that he had to tell her something... Well this "guy" she had almost falling in love with thru letters and words and emails and the such-- turned out to be a woman. She swore that everything she said was true.... her husband "not her wife" cheated on her and yada yada yada.

You never know online. I myself have had multiple screen names in chat rooms for my multiple moods. Maybe one day I want to be myself.... and maybe the next I just want to troll... or maybe even I just want to randomly cyber with someone to fix an itch I have at two in the morning.

I however dont have different profiles on "dating" sites. But maybe she's a complex person, and couldn't fit all of her into one profile. Maybe she thought as she's not sure what she wants then to make different profiles declaring each of her most top wants/needs would somehow eventually help her to decide.

If she used all the same basic information (looks, age, location, pics) then it shouldn't be a big deal. The person you have come to be friends with is probably who she really is. But tell me.... do you know all your real time friends every want need and secret? How many of your friends know EVERYTHING there is to know about you?
We all have different aspects of life, i touched upon this in antoher thread that said this whole world of BDSM is just roleplaying.

My role as a sub is different as my role as a co worker, or friend, or daughter, etc. They all just blend in together when they need to and yet are in some ways completely different from one another. She probably just is trying to figure out how to blendeverything she needs/wants/.is as s ub together.

Maybe you could help her figure it out.

Just my thoughts and ideas.

girl

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 18

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/5/2007 8:28:20 PM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

Hmmmmmmmmmm... stop me if you've heard this one before.

_____________________________

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Post #: 19

RE: What do people get from this kind of thing - 6/5/2007 8:30:45 PM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

I actually did that once, recently, on the board. Called myself 'sillysausage'. God knows why, I HAD to try it out: but it didn't last very long

_____________________________

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 20

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