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Who can dominate me? - 5/24/2005 10:47:43 AM

Stoneygirl76

Posts: 30
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline

I realize that since I am relatively new to these fora, I cannot expect you all to know me well. So forgive me if I seem to ramble on in explanation of my question. I simply like to be clear in what I am discussing.

I have in the past, and am currently pondering the possibility of a younger guy being the man in my life.

What I seek is a lifelong relationship with someone of a dominant nature.

Is it possible for that dynamic to work, to be healthy and successful? An older woman being dominated by a younger man?

I question this scenario because, in my experience, the younger men I have dated typically end up wanting me to mother them, as I mother my children, and that turns me off to a degree I cannot describe.

I don't like to rule anyone out based on things like age, but I know there is a maximum age for which I will consider a person for dating, and likewise, I have tended not to stray too far below my own age.

Does anyone have any experiences, or opinions they might share on this older sub/younger dom dynamic?

I might add, that I feel much more mature than most 28 year old men, probably because I have children. I would only imagine this feeling would intensify as the age of the man decreased. I mean, you can't expect a single person with no kids to have matured as much (typically) as a person who is raising a family. Obligations, responsibilities and whatnot...you get the picture.

Please, throw your two cents in. I am curious to hear what people think.

Thanks in advance.

_____________________________

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it ~ Aristotle

Post #: 1

RE: Who can dominate me? - 5/24/2005 10:57:02 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

The answer to any question that starts "Does anyone else...?" is always "Yes."

It will be harder to find, but they certainly exist. It will become slightly less harder to find as you age yourself.

My boyfriend is a few years younger than me and it surprised me more than anyone to find myself not only falling in love with him but actually realizing that he can top me and will make a fabulous dominant one day.

There are many relationships out there where the fem sub is older than the male dom.

(in reply to Stoneygirl76)

Post #: 2

RE: Who can dominate me? - 5/24/2005 11:00:44 AM

stoneyh2005

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/23/2005
Status: offline

Daddy can

(in reply to Stoneygirl76)

Post #: 3

RE: Who can dominate me? - 5/24/2005 12:13:08 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Does anyone have any experiences, or opinions they might share on this older sub/younger dom dynamic?

Why could it not exist? I don't see anyone claiming to be on the same level of everyone else. We are all diverse. All of my life I have gravitated towards people 8-10 year's older than myself. I don't know the exact reasoning behind it. However I'd say it was because they were on my same maturity level.
I never was on the same level as my peer's. I like being old now...I never have to hear "you're wise beyond your year's" anymore.

I see no reason in the world why it would'nt work. Of course it won't with everyone you meet..although the right person is out there. You just have to find them.

(in reply to Stoneygirl76)

Post #: 4

RE: Who can dominate me? - 5/24/2005 1:17:41 PM

Faramir

Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline

I doubt this has anything to do with relative maturity levels, and everything to do with psycho-sexual intimacy models, personal preferences, and the specific dynamic between you and any other partner.

Of course a younger guy can dominate an older woman, and vice versa. He has to be your kind of dom - ie his D/s dynmaic and yours have to kind of mathc in some way.

The kicker is your personal kinks. If you groove on older guys - if that puts the heat in your panties, than the most mature, aggressive, confident dom in the world who is younger won't fit your Dom pattern recognition system.

But by all means, anything is possible in BDSM. You just need to find the man whose intimacy fits yours, and who you find "attractive," whatever that means to you) easier said than done fo course.

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 5

RE: Who can dominate me? - 5/24/2005 6:27:13 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Does anyone have any experiences, or opinions they might share on this older sub/younger dom dynamic?

Most of my male subs have been older then me. There have only been 2 significant boys in my life that were younger. My very first true sub (I was 27, he was 23) and my current boy (I am 32, he is 28). Otherwise, most of my subs have been 5-15 years older then me. Part of it is because most men figure out what they want in their late 30s and 40s have a better idea of what they want. Of course there are exceptions to the rule. Take my 2 boys :)

I also had a male sub confess to me once that being dominated by a younger woman made it even more humiliating. This submissive was old enough to be my father but had a better body and was in better physical form then most 20 year olds!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Stoneygirl76)

Post #: 6

RE: Who can dominate me? - 5/25/2005 4:00:54 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

Yes a younger man can be a Dom to you. Or at the least he can be horny, kinky, and sadistic. When I was 18, in college, and finnally able to have real experince in my locked up sadist fantasies; the majority of ppl I was with turned out to be older than me. Some from 4 to 7 years and then others that I could call my Sunday School teacher and that's being nice to them.

Instead of looking at there age I recomend observing there maturity and energetic levels. Sure you have to make sure they are atleast 18 but other than that just see how fun, kinky, and dominate they are.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Stoneygirl76)

Post #: 7

RE: Who can dominate me? - 5/26/2005 6:51:38 AM

Kiaban

Posts: 124
Joined: 7/11/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stoneygirl76

I realize that since I am relatively new to these fora, I cannot expect you all to know me well. So forgive me if I seem to ramble on in explanation of my question. I simply like to be clear in what I am discussing.

I have in the past, and am currently pondering the possibility of a younger guy being the man in my life.

What I seek is a lifelong relationship with someone of a dominant nature.

Is it possible for that dynamic to work, to be healthy and successful? An older woman being dominated by a younger man?

I question this scenario because, in my experience, the younger men I have dated typically end up wanting me to mother them, as I mother my children, and that turns me off to a degree I cannot describe.

I don't like to rule anyone out based on things like age, but I know there is a maximum age for which I will consider a person for dating, and likewise, I have tended not to stray too far below my own age.

Does anyone have any experiences, or opinions they might share on this older sub/younger dom dynamic?

I might add, that I feel much more mature than most 28 year old men, probably because I have children. I would only imagine this feeling would intensify as the age of the man decreased. I mean, you can't expect a single person with no kids to have matured as much (typically) as a person who is raising a family. Obligations, responsibilities and whatnot...you get the picture.

Please, throw your two cents in. I am curious to hear what people think.

Thanks in advance.

This is kinda one of those "never say never" sort of questions. Having said that though I think it often takes guys a while to come into thier own as LA said , and possibly even more so for true domination.
Then again perhaps I just have that view point since I am old

(in reply to Stoneygirl76)

Post #: 8

RE: Who can dominate me? - 5/26/2005 8:32:19 AM

Raphael

Posts: 263
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stoneygirl76

I don't like to rule anyone out based on things like age, but I know there is a maximum age for which I will consider a person for dating, and likewise, I have tended not to stray too far below my own age.

Does anyone have any experiences, or opinions they might share on this older sub/younger dom dynamic?

I might add, that I feel much more mature than most 28 year old men, probably because I have children. I would only imagine this feeling would intensify as the age of the man decreased. I mean, you can't expect a single person with no kids to have matured as much (typically) as a person who is raising a family. Obligations, responsibilities and whatnot...you get the picture.

Please, throw your two cents in. I am curious to hear what people think.

Thanks in advance.

It's absolutely possible.

It's also not particularly likely.

I 'came out of the closet' so to speak at 26, and my first real D/s relationship was with a woman several years older than me, so I know it's possible.

Age was never really an issue for us. Everyone says I'm an 'old soul' which can be a little offensive, depending on the tone, but it usually meant nicely and I usually take it that way. I always 'felt' like she was my precious little girl, and even though I knew she was 6 years old when I was born, that didn't matter in the least. She had two children, and that *was* something of an issue to me, not because I didn't like them - quite the opposite, just because I generally felt that my time and energy and resources should go into my own children, not someone elses. But, it didn't take long for me to work through that. The simple fact was, they were hers, I could not and would not separate her from them in a million years, and if I wanted her I just had to accept the situation. Which I did.

Sadly, the relationship wound up not working out, but for reasons entirely unrelated to her age or her children. But anyway, given that experience, I have to say what you describe is certainly possible. But I think it's also exceptional. So far as I can tell you are absolutely right that most younger men aren't at all capable of what you're looking for.

Then again, I'd say most older men aren't really either. So... well you obviously have an age range you look for. You don't justify that, and you don't have to justify that - it's entirely your business. But I'd advise you to stay open to the possibility wherever it might appear, whether in someone younger or older. Life has a way of surprising us and confounding our expectations at times.

(in reply to Stoneygirl76)

Post #: 9

RE: Who can dominate me? - 5/26/2005 11:01:36 AM

Stoneygirl76

Posts: 30
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline

Your responses have got me thinking - I thank you all for that!

I suppose in my mind, I do picture one who would be a good match as an older man. I know I've always been drawn to older men.

I agree that I shouldn't be ruling people out based on age - and find it a little embarassing to realize that I was. It IS about the people involved, and not simply their stats.

(in reply to Raphael)

Post #: 10

RE: Who can dominate me? - 6/1/2005 7:46:39 AM

MemphisDsCouple

Posts: 146
Joined: 11/1/2004
From: Memphis, TN, USA
Status: offline

I dunno about the age thing. It's not much of an issue for me so I don't have much to contribute to that discussion. But you do write good lyrics. I'll say that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stoneygirl76

Your responses have got me thinking - I thank you all for that!

I suppose in my mind, I do picture one who would be a good match as an older man. I know I've always been drawn to older men.

I agree that I shouldn't be ruling people out based on age - and find it a little embarassing to realize that I was. It IS about the people involved, and not simply their stats.

_____________________________

B. (the male half of MemphisDsCouple)

(in reply to Stoneygirl76)

Post #: 11

RE: Who can dominate me? - 6/2/2005 6:49:16 AM

Stoneygirl76

Posts: 30
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline

(If you mean a recent post in my journal, that's not me. Anna Nalick.)

I met a younger dom last week, and am eager to explore the dynamic of submitting to one younger than myself. Thus far, I do not forsee any complications based on age, but of course, it's hard to know that so early.

I am ashamed of myself for being so closed to such a concept in the past. Maturity is not directly proportional to years lived.

_____________________________

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it ~ Aristotle

(in reply to MemphisDsCouple)

Post #: 12

RE: Who can dominate me? - 6/5/2005 4:11:51 PM

Tom3

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/4/2005
Status: offline

I personally don't see it. It is like handing the keys to a corvette to a kid.
Expect to lose and front hood and a telephone pole.
Could it be that you are chosing a younger man because you want to hmmm, you dont really want to be a sub and this is your way of sabotaging it? Maybe sub consciously? I wish you well, but dont wast your time with a younger man. Maturety takes time. I you cant respect and follow him, you are wasting your time.
tom

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 13

RE: Who can dominate me? - 6/5/2005 9:14:58 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

`i could for every 80 cents on the dollar

(in reply to Tom3)

Post #: 14

RE: Who can dominate me? - 6/5/2005 9:27:52 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tom3
I wish you well, but dont wast your time with a younger man. Maturety takes time. I you cant respect and follow him, you are wasting your time.
tom

snort

I agree as much as the next person that most people are sucky lovers and relaters until their 30s but that's such a blanket agist statement I can't begin to cover it.

(in reply to Tom3)

Post #: 15

RE: Who can dominate me? - 6/6/2005 6:39:06 AM

Stoneygirl76

Posts: 30
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tom3

I personally don't see it. It is like handing the keys to a corvette to a kid.
Expect to lose and front hood and a telephone pole.
Could it be that you are chosing a younger man because you want to hmmm, you dont really want to be a sub and this is your way of sabotaging it? Maybe sub consciously? I wish you well, but dont wast your time with a younger man. Maturety takes time. I you cant respect and follow him, you are wasting your time.
tom

Yea, just look at the maturity one as old as you has.

How could I have been so foolish?

_____________________________

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it ~ Aristotle

(in reply to Tom3)

Post #: 16

RE: Who can dominate me? - 6/14/2005 12:55:32 AM

nighthawk99200

Posts: 9
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline

i would have to say and i have not looked at your profile yet but you sound like you know what you want and the man for you is out there if you only take the time to let him in

(in reply to Stoneygirl76)

Post #: 17

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