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Public Play - 5/24/2005 1:04:48 PM

surfergirl

Posts: 38
Joined: 5/19/2005
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For those who engage in public play at dungouns, play parties etc... do you play only with your Dom or sub? if not.. how do you approuch others to play? Just curious as we have a good group of friends, but wondered how others do it.

< Message edited by surfergirl -- 5/24/2005 1:05:05 PM >

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RE: Public Play - 5/24/2005 1:32:20 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I will play with someone totally new. How to approach depends on what's going on. If it's an auction, just put yourself up and see who bids on you or you bid on who you want.

Obviously wait until they are not engaged in playing, not getting toys together to play and not still cleaning up from the last scene. Once you strike up a regular mingling social chat type thing, you can mention that you have seen them doing something that you liked, or that you'd always wanted to try. If they seem to enjoy that line of talking, then you can continue and ask if they might have the time or energy that evening to get into some stuff with you.

Whatever they say, accept it. I've had a few bottoms put onto my "never play with" list because they didn't accept a "no thanks, not tonight" response. When you're first playing with someone, politeness is of the utmost and will be a key factor in deciding whether they will play AGAIN with you.

And I generally don't expect a full big intense scene with someone I've just met, for obvious reasons. If you and they are both experienced players then you can get into a bit more depth, but otherwise a first scene is likely to be more of an exposure and teaser type scene.

Once it's over you can talk more and exchange contact info and perhaps set up future play dates that will be even more involved.

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RE: Public Play - 5/24/2005 4:53:36 PM

surfergirl

Posts: 38
Joined: 5/19/2005
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our pulic play experiance has been with friends in our circle, never with some one brand new.. so thanks for the advice!

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RE: Public Play - 5/25/2005 3:56:47 PM

pat512

Posts: 7
Joined: 9/12/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: surfergirl

For those who engage in public play at dungouns, play parties etc... do you play only with your Dom or sub? if not.. how do you approuch others to play? Just curious as we have a good group of friends, but wondered how others do it.

Well, my first few years in the scene, I had neither a dom nor a sub, so that would have been pretty boring! I bottomed to a number of people, sometimes the night I met them, but more often after some period of acquaintance. Most of the time, it was "Would you have any interestin in tying me up tonight?" and just taking whichever answer gracefully.

Now, I'm owned, and I've got another frequent top (actually, she also switches, but we haven't done that yet). If my owner's present at the party, She usually brokers the play session with someone we both know; if not, I ask advance permission to play with people I know will be there, or sometimes general permission to play with people with whom I've played before. In this case, it's all planned by e-mail, but still boils down to, "Hey, wanna tie me up?"

HTH,
Pat

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RE: Public Play - 5/25/2005 4:20:17 PM

FangsNfeet

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When I peform a scene I view it as giving a massage. I will do a scene with just about anyone who feels they can handle it and allow my pet to watch. However both my pet and I would have to really know you if you wanted to do something with my pet and I would have to be watching the entire time.

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RE: Public Play - 5/26/2005 6:53:58 PM

SadistDave

Posts: 801
Joined: 3/11/2005
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I am a very public figure in the local lifestyle, and am currently active in two of the most prominent local fetish/BDSM clubs. have no shortage of volunteers for public, non-sexual play. I simply allow my reputation and skill speak for me. Other Dominants sometimes even volunteer their submissives to public sessions hoping to learn some of my more difficult techniques by watching me work.

I have found that maintaining a good reputation as a skilled Dominant in the local scene is worth more than any amount of on-line posturing. Often I find that it is more difficult for me to turn down play partners than to find them in a public arena.

-SD-

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RE: Public Play - 5/26/2005 8:21:37 PM

ginger21

Posts: 173
Joined: 4/28/2005
From: Austin, Texas
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quote:

do you play only with your Dom or sub? if not.. how do you approuch others to play?

I was wondering this as well, as I just went to my first party. I dug up some links and called a friend to ask her about party etiquette(thanks ally!). There's only a few things I remember so I hope this helps!

As far as approaching goes, just go up and ask if they're interested in playing! Don't intrude on people already in the middle of a scene, about to start a scene, or immediately ending a scene (you know, when the parties are cuddling and doing aftercare type stuff). Be sure that they're done or haven't started playing. Then approach them with the polite request to play. The worst they can say is "no."

And if they say no, take no as their final answer. You don't wanna end up on Emerald's banned list. ^_~

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