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Some Advice Please. - 6/5/2007 6:14:15 PM

JerseyKrissi72

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I cannot believe it has almost been a year since my Master passed away but it will be June 28th...I have thought of many things that I could do to remember him on this day..we both enjoyed the beach, amusement parks, long walks ( the outdoors in general)...any suggestions of a good way to spend that day in his memory? I have decided to take that day to myself off from work and away from everyone....I also must thank you all for being so kind to me during this year ...you all are the greatest.

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RE: Some Advice Please. - 6/5/2007 6:19:30 PM

proudsub

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You might start with a visit to his grave if he has one. I did that on the 1st anniversary of my mother's death and it helped a lot. I like the idea of a walk on the beach, maybe throw some flowers in the water in his memory.

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RE: Some Advice Please. - 6/5/2007 6:21:50 PM

JerseyKrissi72

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We did put out a stone in the cemetary in his memory but unfortunately, his mother took over the funeral arrangements of which there were none- his ashes still sit in a funeral home and I have no access to them which I have come to accept-- once someone dies, their soul is free to be where they are most comfortable and I know he is here with us (me and my children)....thankyou, the idea of the flowers in the water, I like that one.

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RE: Some Advice Please. - 6/5/2007 6:24:48 PM

Viridana

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I don't know you, nor did I know your master. But I did have a brother who passed away. He was the kind of person who wouldn't want people to cry over him. So I did what I think he would have wanted me to do to remember him. I partied and had fun.

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RE: Some Advice Please. - 6/5/2007 6:26:01 PM

beargonewild

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Greetings Krissi,

If you two had a special place like a park or a secluded beach spot, what if you had a picnic there and lay back and meditate on the time you both had together before his passing? Maybe light a candle which has special meaning and/or saying a quiet prayer/blessing to him.

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RE: Some Advice Please. - 6/5/2007 6:29:29 PM

eroticangel

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Krissi, whatever you decide will be the right thing...your Master will be pleased

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RE: Some Advice Please. - 6/5/2007 6:35:11 PM

Eldritchdancer

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In a few book series I read there are a few customs that I appreciated.

1) At the funeral and First anniversary, good memories of the person were shared by those who loved and cared for the person. Just small memories to make the grief a little lighter, bring a brief smile, and lift the spirit.

2) A small offering is burned in memory of the departed, by his/her nearest and dearest, and family.

I view death as a gift, for the one who no longer suffers. As such, I would throw a party. But that's me.

Master Darkmoon

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RE: Some Advice Please. - 6/5/2007 7:28:30 PM

earthycouple

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Krissi,

None of us can give you "the" answer....it will come from your heart. I personally would write..either in poetry or prose how I feel. I would be as visceral as I possible. Saying everything never said and saying again everything I already said. I'd laugh, I'd cry, I'd be silly and serious. But that is ME. Do what feels right...even if right is laying in bed all day, going to a movie, or enjoying time with friends and family. Don't feel you have to be solemn and sad, don't feel you have to be cheery and happy. I know..useless wasn't I? *S*

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RE: Some Advice Please. - 6/5/2007 7:36:55 PM

minnetar

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What about something symbolic to just the two of you. Something that you would do to have made Him proud . Don't be afraid to cry or show those emotions. you have plenty who care and want to be a support system. i am so sorry for your loss.

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RE: Some Advice Please. - 6/7/2007 10:25:57 PM

gypsyfirefly

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Krissi,

Since both you and your Master enjoyed the outdoors, why not have a tree planted in his name? There are many organizations that do this. Or check with the local Parks and Planning Commission in your area, there may already be programs in place to do something like this.

I am so sorry for your loss. May your memories help in your continued healing.

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RE: Some Advice Please. - 6/8/2007 1:28:19 AM

LadyPact

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I agree with Earthy (yet again). You will find your own answer to this question. The suggestions are helpful, but you may find the answer is really within your inner you.

One thing I might suggest, as others have, is to write something special and personal from you to Him. Expect it to be a bit difficult, and even expect some tears, both the happy and sad kind. Put the pen to paper, and put your heart into it. I know it's going to be tough, but in a way, it's going to release some pain, which is what you're expecting from this anniversary.

When you've finished, figure out what the best thing is to do with what you've written. Don't just shove it in a drawer. If you'd like, make a copy for yourself to look back on later, but for the original, do something special with it, in a way that allows your connection to be expressed. You could put the message in a bottle and take it to the beach so the tide can carry it away. You can burn it so the smoke can be lifted to the sky. One of My favorites is to tie it to a balloon that flies away. Pick something that makes you feel that the message is sent to Him, somehow, depending on your own personal beliefs.

Good luck, Dear. Know that My thoughts are with you.

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RE: Some Advice Please. - 6/8/2007 4:49:15 AM

JerseyKrissi72

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thankyou for all your wonderful advice...this month has been very difficult on me, it's nice to know people care.

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RE: Some Advice Please. - 6/8/2007 5:38:42 AM

ready4srvce4all

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I have found that after someone passes...to just let it out for each special occaision. The first birthday missed, the first Christmas, etc. The last hurdle for me was always the first anniversary of the death. I found my mourning ended then, and it was no longer total sadness thinking of that person after that, only warmth and love.

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