RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (Full Version)

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[Poll]

DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ?


Dose SOmeone not belong in the Lifestyle if they are Mentaly disturb ?
  20% (8)
NO mental problems do not have anyting to do with lifestyle ?
  20% (8)
I have some Mental heath issues and i am fine
  60% (24)


Total Votes : 40
(last vote on : 2/4/2008 3:14:05 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )


Message


Adelphus -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 7:16:18 AM)

Personally I'm nuttier than a bag of peanuts but I find I'm most together when I'm at some BDSM event. I like to say its like a parapalegic in a swimming pool, you forget your issues awhile and swim. The trick is finding a mate that understands what a mental illness is and how they work. I find that many people who have never had one don't usually grasp how devastating they can be, but there are lots who don't have one that have figured it out. So long as you are aware of your illness and take responsibilty for it, I say why not? Life is so damn short after all.




MistressSavage -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 7:17:14 AM)

I have panic disorder and depression issues, I  know that I'm fine as long as I keep my meds nearby in case of a panic attack. 

Personally I am much more concerned with  substance abuse than about a mental disorder that is being treated.

Tricia




mistoferin -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 7:25:22 AM)

I think that it is interesting that 52% of the respondents to this poll so far answered that they have mental issues.




Gauge -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 7:29:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I think that it is interesting that 52% of the respondents to this poll so far answered that they have mental issues.


I think it is good that people with mental illness issues have responded. Personally, regarding this topic, I would rather hear from people with issues rather than people without them. It's kind of like the Alcoholics Anonymous theory of being helped by other alcoholics.




mistoferin -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 7:37:31 AM)

I don't see it as a good or bad thing, I see it as interesting. There is always the question being tossed around that this lifestyle seems to have a disproportionate number of folks who have mental issues. Others discount that by saying that this lifestyle merely provides a more comfortable place for people to be open about such things. I would not think though, that 52% of the general population is affected in such a way. Granted, the results may indeed be flawed as the title of the poll may influence who responds or not....but I still think that 52% is quite a high number.




domiguy -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 7:38:12 AM)

doh!




lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 7:45:52 AM)

starting to wonder why this isnt somthing that belong in polls and other rendom subjecs this is a lagitament ? but guess the mod thout it should be moved
 
ross.g




Lordandmaster -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 7:49:52 AM)

Honestly, I see the whole thing as a continuum.  If they're just "once in a while," they're not really "emotional issues."  That's more like "the pressures of normal life."  People who have emotional issues that never seem to go away--well, that's a big step on the way toward mental instability, in my view.

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I've been involved with one or two people with mental problems, and let's just say it didn't work out too well.  In fact, the older I get, the less patience I have for people with obvious emotional issues.  Go get'em solved, and then maybe we can talk.  It's not MY fault you're all screwed up.


Mental illness and emotional issues are not always one in the same.  Anyone can have emotional issues once in a while.




CrimsonMoan -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 7:49:54 AM)

I honestly think this is something that should be really case by case. Everyone is different and if your problem no matter what it is is being controlled and monitored then go for it.




lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 7:50:04 AM)

Thank you for the kind words and saport i cant belive someone would say that to me iether its just upstetting badly
 
but hey i can get over it i know who i am and where i belong and they dont
 
ross.g

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ai0n

i think that it's perfectly fine, and have noticed that a fair amount of people here, as well as in life admit to suffering with some sort of mental instablilty.
And i agree it was very rude of them to say that you shouldn't be in this lifestyle because of your disease. Though a mental illness like bipolar could mix badly with some parts of this lifestyle, you will just have to find a patient and understaning partner.
And, of course, you should always tell your partner/future partner about your illness...





lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 7:52:10 AM)

Thank you for the kind words i agree and i am very proud to say i have a problem and take medication and i dont denie it and anyone who will one day collar me will except that in me and know it about me i dont hide
:)  and i thank everyone who has come here on this subject and opened up about htere background also thank you
 
ross.g

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I think that it is interesting that 52% of the respondents to this poll so far answered that they have mental issues.


I think it is good that people with mental illness issues have responded. Personally, regarding this topic, I would rather hear from people with issues rather than people without them. It's kind of like the Alcoholics Anonymous theory of being helped by other alcoholics.




Jaded2005 -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 8:04:45 AM)

We all have issues, EVERYONE of us. It is how you respond to them that counts! Some are more apparent that other, most go without being addressed. The Charlie Mansons and John Hinckleys are well known, the Andrea Yates are waiting time bombs waiting to happen. Communication and observation are the best way to determine weather your partner will turn into a Sybil.  




toservez -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 8:04:53 AM)

There are people with mental problems in all walks of life and the truth to say sorry we are special and therefore not for you is too obnoxious for me.

This life is just like anything else and needs to be done in reality and in a healthy nature. There is no reason what so ever that a person with mental issues who is aware of them and is managing them cannot do wonderful in this life.

Are there people who do not know or do not manage their issues and can try to use this life to self medicate, absolutely but again people self medicate all the time and if this was the line drawn then we would have to outlaw a lot of things people do like alcohol, tobacco, chocolate, extreme sports and on and on. It is not this life or anything else but the condition of the person.




AquaticSub -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 8:06:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I don't see it as a good or bad thing, I see it as interesting. There is always the question being tossed around that this lifestyle seems to have a disproportionate number of folks who have mental issues. Others discount that by saying that this lifestyle merely provides a more comfortable place for people to be open about such things. I would not think though, that 52% of the general population is affected in such a way. Granted, the results may indeed be flawed as the title of the poll may influence who responds or not....but I still think that 52% is quite a high number.


Frankly, I would regard this particular poll as highly unscientific and completely disregard it's results if you want to discuss the matter seriously. To do that, we need an accurate gage of what percent of the total population has a mental disorder, and of what degree and then try to speculate how much of a cross-over there is in the BDSM population.




hotwater07 -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 8:08:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile

My heart goes out to you.  My personal thoughts/view on this have changed a lot.  I feel you deserve a fair shake of the stick, a fair chance..  I am feeling a little bit of guilt and remorse at the moment.   I was involved in a relationship where she was BiPolar and it was very difficult for me emotionally.   However, it is not fair of me to judge or assume that everybody who is BiPolar will be the same way.  Medication, understanding and empathy goes a long way.  I believe this is something that can be dealt with and worked out in a D/s relationship. 

Right now, I'm somewhat emotional because in a sense I feel as if I had failed to do everything I could.  However there were other issues besides her being BiPolar that came into play.   This is a difficult thing for me.. Yes, in a sense I feel I failed to be the proper Domly Dom Master...  I am deeply sorry to hear about this rejection.   I've been wrestling with this myself, as to if I can have a good D/s relationship with anybody Bi-polar.   I at one time was refusing to be with anybody Bi-Polar on my profile, then I adjusted it to being accepting if they take meds.  However, one my number one position on my Don't bother list is Bi-Polar...  I'm afraid this does little to promote anything in your favor or anybody that is Bi-Polar...

I have a difficult struggle with this in my mindset.  This is probally the most heart breaking or emotionally touching post I have read in awhile now.  Dare I admit it.. my damn domly ass is tearing up a little right now... 

This subject really hits close to home and at my heart as well...    



This was a big issue with my recent ex-boyfriend of two years, never having any experience with mental illness, and I am sure it is difficult for most to deal with.  Especially if the "healthy" person has never experienced similar feelings, or has never been around others with mental illness.  I have a general anxiety/depressive disorder and I am being treated -- actually by a Kink Aware Professional who understands even more the issues I go through - highly recommend finding one if you can. 

You should not be hard on yourself if you don't feel comfortable dealing with these sometimes intense issues.  It doesn't mean you have some personality flaw, it just means that you are not yet able to understand the problem, much less know how to help.  This is why there are wonderful people who are teachers or social workers or what-have-you -- because not all of us can take on the job of dealing with difficult situations.   We love and respect those people but we don't condemn other people who can't do those kinds of jobs - and you shouldn't condemn yourself for simply doing what you can do (even if it doesn't seem like much).

Just do your best to try to understand the person, learn all you can about their illness, ask them questions about what they feel, how their illness makes them feel, or how you can help.  There may not be anything you can do to help, but your efforts to understand will show them how much you care.  Perhaps they can share with you -- and enlist your help in implementing -- the methods that help them deal with their problems.  Patience, friend....
>>hugs<<

*OP - Only you can know whether or not you belong in the lifestyle.  As with any activity - even vanilla - if you know yourself, your limits and needs, then you can aptly choose whether or not something is right for you.  No one has any right to tell you your choice is wrong; I know how hurtful that must be for you.  Just live to be happy, and if others around you are impeding that happiness, let them go!  The world is full of people!  It may take time, but it will be worth it when you find those people who understand you, can lift you up and support you and your happiness.  I'm sending you all the calm, confident, supportive and happy vibes I can muster. 
>>more hugs<<
K




MasterFireMaam -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 8:21:58 AM)

I think it's all in the manner in which you are coping and handling your mental stuff. Just like with other people, you have to get to know the individual and judge for yourself if you can have a healthy relationship with them. I've been rejected simply because I'm bipolar. It was due to the submissive assuming that I behave and cope with life in the same manner as the person who he had struggled with with the same disorder. I respected his decision even as I found it unfair and discriminatory.

Being bipolar, if the person is not taking responsibility for their own mental health, can affect your judgement. But so can a lot of other things. Being in a relationship with us might mean you have to educate yourself about the condition so you know what SHOULD be healthy. Again, you have to get to know the person in order to assess if you find them healthy.

Master Fire - bipolar




domiguy -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 9:22:00 AM)

I usually won't deal with chicks with bad brains or who have lost their marbles.....But then I thought that I just might be in a rush to judgement regarding these women!   If I took the time to actually get to know them and were to look at them as individuals tthen there must be a way to factor their "hotness" into the equation....Which if their "hotness" was deemed to be of a significant level or better would surely be able to compensate for a light mental illness a neurosis or a phobia or two.

I had created a graph with "Hotness...Tits, ass and mouth..etc".on the "x" axis......And "Mental Shit and Malfunctions Tolerated" on th "y"

It's amazing that as your beauty, hotness and overall fuckability increased...So does the amount of brain "trash" that I am willing to accept....Look I spent over 6 months researching this project...and spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in the process...My graph was awsome!....If that doesn't say that I'm "deep" then you all can kiss my ass.




EvilKitty -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 10:30:54 AM)

Bipolar is so extraordinarily hard to live with; both for the "patient" & the support/family/loves/Dom/me, that it's understandable why a particular person might decide not to engage with someone who has the disease. Since probably 99% of us are NOT professional psychiatrists, MOST of us are not qualified, willing, or capable of helping that person through their disease. And honestly, that's what happens in our lifestyle. We help each other when we can. The same holds true for many types of mental disability; we can't change that.  If we thought that collaring someone whom we knew to be ill would be a fine chance to "help" them; we delude ourselves. If you knew a sub had diabetes, would you collar that sub with the intention of helping them with their disease? Perhaps; perhaps you could order them to keep an exact log of food intake, meds, blood sugar levels, etc. & order them to report hourly to you. Or, maybe you've found the perfect Mistress/Master & think that you could always keep allowable foods near them for snacking, bring them the glucose monitor every hour so they check regularly & help them with the disease that way. But in the end, each person is responsible for themselves in this life. They must make correct choices for their health & wellbeing themselves.
A person with a mental illness, be they Top or bottom, is responsible for staying religiously on their meds as proscribed by their doctors. They are responsible for going to therapy & helping themselves as much as they can.
When one of us makes the decision to choose a partner, Top or bottom; we bear the responsibility to know our limitations. If we think we can be better caregivers than the person's doctors, we're fooling ourselves. If we know that our patience levels don't deal well with certain disorders like bipolarism; the most sensible thing is to move on to someone else. Should we be polite & not hurtful to others? HELL YES! But should we wimp out & choose that person because they give a good BJ, or because they can get a sub to subspace beautifully despite having a disorder that we KNOW, damn good & well will end badly? HELL NO!!!  
*sigh* Creakily stepping down from My soapbox now.....
Evil Kitty




MasterFireMaam -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 10:36:55 AM)

Check out my graph:

http://www.meish.org/vd/select/images/dothemath2.gif

Ok, so it's not MY graph...it's from the anti-valentine site...but it works, does it not?

Master Fire




Mercnbeth -> RE: DO you think that someone with a mental problem should not be involved in the lifestyle ? (6/6/2007 10:44:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
I think that it is interesting that 52% of the respondents to this poll so far answered that they have mental issues.
I too am surprised that it is that low.

It is in vogue to claim a mental disability to justify behavior. Besides, it takes away the blame and introducing yourself having a mental illness is almost expected.

A child isn't "bad" or "disrupted" they are "hyper-active" - here take Ritalin or Straterra. You have mood swings? You're not emotional you are "bi-polar" here's some lithium, or in the latest craze they'll give you anti-seizure medication lie Tegretol or Depakote. Anxiety got you down? Xanax or Valium will do the trick. Depressed? There are a bunch, A-Z; Adapin to Zoloft.

Is the world any different now than it was prior to the psychology boom? Is there a larger percentage of people mentally ill? I don't believe that is the case. There is more readily available information, leading to more self diagnosis. It used to require going to college to learn about human psychology. Back in the day there was even a term for what would happen to first year students. 'Freshman Psychosis' was used to describe what would happen to students who took a 100 level psychology course and found that the had many of the symptoms that described paranoia, split personality, depression, schizophrenia, and many other of the disorders they read about in their textbooks. Now the same information is presented in magazines that you read on the toilet. It is having the same result.

However now stepping up to take advantage of this "little knowledge" are the psychologist, and drug companies. Banned cigarette commercials have been replaced in the ad market by pills which will ease your depression, reduce your anxiety, and level your moods. A susceptible mind can get a bad case of 'Freshman Psychosis' simply by watching TV. Based upon sales, there are a LOT of susceptible minds, seeking that magic pill that will make them feel good about themselves.

One common denominator of the drugs referenced? ALL require taking them forever. In business, you try to find some product/service for your business that creates an annuity. The drug companies, especially in the mental illness industry,  have the concept perfected. You'll be taking your anti-depression meds from the day you are diagnosed to the day you die. Keep them in prescription form and you'll be visiting your Doctor regularly too. As a patient/customer - don't ever be expecting a "cure". Your "disease" is paying too many bills for too many people.

Truth is, many people shouldn't feel all that good about themselves at varying points in their lives. It sure has happened to me, for reasons legitimate or minor. A close friend or relative dies you should be depressed. A couple buildings full of them warrants generating all kinds of negative emotions. Would you want to take a pill that deflected daily reality? I've had many friends to regularly take psycho prescriptions. When I ask what it does for them, they say it "takes the sharp edge off of daily life." Wow - Were I to seek a pill cure, it would be one which would make life sharper.

There are mentally ill people in the world. There is a need to help the those unable to function due to their brain's inability to logically process and react to the world around them. These new age diagnosed deceases are not among them. They are trying to make the routine and common ups and down of reality flat. In effect they are taking the 'roller coaster' that is life and laying it flat.

Should someone with a self proclaimed or diagnosed 'mental illness' be in the lifestyle? Why not? Would I consider someone with a self proclaimed, or diagnose ambulatory 'mental illness'? Sure - But I think the smirk and the sarcastic comment coming out of my mouth would not have you consider me. Having a partner with some diseases may be fun to play with; especially a multi-personality who takes on varying submissive persona. It would take role-playing to the ultimate level. 

There was an interesting article in the LA time on this issue. The subject was college students. This is the final two paragraph summary:
quote:

In 1913, psychologist Lewis Terman proclaimed that skyrocketing teenage stress was driving an "epidemic of child suicide." In 1935, the American Council on Education's American Youth Commission reported that 75% of young men suffered physical debilitation induced by mental anxiety, while a national study a year later found youth in a "melancholic … state rapidly approaching a psychosis." In the 1980s, the National Assn. of Private Psychiatric Hospitals and other lobbies trumpeted an "epidemic of teen suicide" that later congressional testimony and an American Psychological Assn. investigation concluded was an attempt to fill beds in overbuilt psychiatric hospitals.

Judging by the best evidence we have, today's high school and college students are no more troubled — indeed are probably less so — than those of 15, 25, or 35 years ago. That higher tuitions raise student anxiety — a new UC-funded poll found 16- to 22-year-olds citing "school and money as their top sources of personal stress" — is just one more compelling reason to base mental health funding on professional criteria rather than "suicidal student" scare campaigns.
Source: http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-op-males27may27,1,1223636.story 




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