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SugarFemme23 -> Male subs (6/6/2007 8:44:36 AM)
So, I'm rather new to Domming male subs. Well, I'm new to Domming anyone, but all of my experience has been with women so far. I have a man that is interested, but I find myself very hesitant and unsure. Has anyone else felt this way? If so, how do you jumpstart yourself?

Red82 -> RE: Male subs (6/6/2007 8:52:09 AM)
With a pair of jumpercables. :-)

LadyEllen -> RE: Male subs (6/6/2007 8:56:25 AM)
Do you want to dom him? Is it just a question of not knowing "how things work" with a male sub? E

SugarFemme23 -> RE: Male subs (6/6/2007 9:18:09 AM)
Yes, I do want to Dom him. I seem to be less sure of myself and not knowing what to do. I also just don't know"how things work" as you say....

thetammyjo -> RE: Male subs (6/6/2007 9:33:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SugarFemme23 Yes, I do want to Dom him. I seem to be less sure of myself and not knowing what to do. I also just don't know"how things work" as you say.... There really isn't that much difference between submissive people based on sex or gender really. Consider what you've talked about in negotiations, if you have done them, then play to your desires and strengths while avoiding his limits and include a few of the things he finds most desireable.

ObedientYYC -> RE: Male subs (6/6/2007 11:45:59 AM)
Akasha wrote a "Good Girls Guide to Female Domination" that is quite good for getting started with. Sounds like you are exactly the audience she wrote it for. I believe she posts here under the nickname AAkasha if you wanted to message her for details.

LotusSong -> RE: Male subs (6/6/2007 12:28:05 PM)
I suggest that you get an experienced male sub that wants to work with you. You have to learn first and not just jump right into a venue you are not familiar with. A good submissive will still BE submissive while guiding you thru the basics. May I ask WHY you want to now dominate a male slave? What are you hoping to find and such :) Just some things to think .about

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Male subs (6/6/2007 12:48:14 PM)
Some Ladies do have an initial problem dominating a male. I have discerned, in speaking to others with similar problems, and this may not be your situation, that it is matter of not feeling comfortable and confident as a female being in the position of power over the male due to a preconditioning of the accepted woman's role in standard relationships. Not necessarily submissive, per se, but certainly more egalitarian. Only you can decide if this might be part of your hesitation. That said, it is really no different from dominating a female. In play, there are just some different body parts you can torture! In every day, non scene specific D/s, you would or should have the same feeling about things as you do with a female. Relax, and if you feel you have the time and the opportunity, learning with a male sub friend is a good way to gain some of that experience. Relax and have fun!

undergroundsea -> RE: Male subs (6/6/2007 5:42:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong I suggest that you get an experienced male sub that wants to work with you. I think this is excellent advice! I think all dommes should get with male subs to further their experience. Oh, and, ladies, I am very experienced! I have been fantasizing about all this since I was 5! Cheers, Sea

MsPleasure -> RE: Male subs (6/6/2007 7:48:54 PM)
Yes, being new myself you go through those feelings. However, I just think about all the things I ever wanted to try on a sub and pack my goodie bag with the things I need. I choose to talk with the sub and give a phone interview about likes, dislikes etc., then meet in person for a visual in a public place...usually a coffee shop. If theres still a good flow we decide to meet for a session. Never at my residence. Having the info I need, it may start out awkward but usually you will click in and go with the flow. I have fun with it. Just remember YOU are in control. Make sure a good buddy knows about your meeting and where you are. If you are really uncomfortable don't do it.

LadyHeart -> RE: Male subs (6/6/2007 10:44:58 PM)
If you are inexperienced, the first thing to establish is whether he is really submissive, or just a bottom. I don't have any problem playing with either, but if you're new at it, someone who tops from the bottom can be very daunting. There are more bottoms around than submissives, so be sure first what you are dealing with is my advice. The technical side of it is not the problem, it's emotions that catch us off guard. If you find yourself in a situation where you are not in control it may shatter your confidence. So that's where I suggest starting. Otherwise, have fun! :)) LH

wewalkamongyu -> RE: Male subs (6/7/2007 2:06:12 AM)
I suggest you just talk to him. Ask him if he has any fantasys he has wanted to explore with a Domme. Ask him if there is any type of scene he really loves. If he is like most of us, he will almost write the script for the fist couple times you play. You will be doing things that you know he likes, and it will help you to become comfortable with the role. after the first couple times, you will start to come up with your own ideas. Another idea is to read some femdom stories. They are a great source of ideas, and fun steamy reading. After a few good stories on literotica.com or other places, you will have some ideas you will be dying to try out. Just eremember to relax, have fun and don't be afraid to make mistakes.

LadyPact -> RE: Male subs (6/7/2007 6:22:54 AM)
Talk about being outside of your comfort zone! I understand completely, however, recently, this was the case with Me and My first female submissive. Yes, it does feel funny, at first. From My own experience, just this past weekend, I did My first public scene with a girl. Wow! So much new territory! There are things inside of you never untapped that come to the surface. An almost indescribable sensation that grabs you and vitalizes your very core. The only advice I can offer is..... Try it, if it's new. I had the greatest trip to top space matching up with a female partner this past weekend. I would have never thought the trip was so genuine until I experienced it for Myself. Give it a shot! You haven't lost anything until you've proven it didn't work out.

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