New, but Old

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

New, but Old

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> New, but Old

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

New, but Old - 5/27/2005 9:50:28 AM

fantasyfeline

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/27/2005
Status: offline

Hello Everyone,
I'm wondering if I'm to old to full-fill this fantasy. I'm curious how age affects this lifestyle. Is there doms out there that have and interest in the older women? Are older subs kind of supplemented with younger, or replace with younger? Don't take offense to my question, Im so new to this, I'm just researching what could be or not be for me.
Also, how do you determine the real dom seeking a sub from a player, who may be a danger. Meeting people like this seems a little scary.

Is there steps you would take in meeting a prospective Dom?

Thank You,
Dianee

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: New, but Old - 5/27/2005 10:08:26 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

My Dearest Lady,

You aren't old.............jesus, just out of diapers. For the most part the same things as the teen years, you learn not to drink and play, usually (although according to some of the stories brought to the attention of others here) learn not to kill people with enemas........Probably the most notable thing that happens as we get older is Doms and Dommes are more reluctant to swing from a rope on the second floor at you on the first if you are tied securely. (some will though, of course). ENJOY, HAVE FUN. (Realistically, alot of the older subs are not able to assume certain positions, or kneel very long times and things of that nature. Safety? search the posts.........lotta talk about that here, but meeting and greeting prospective mates doesn't take special education.........do what you have done to make it to your current ancient age.............lol (use your head)

All kidding aside. Nothing new under the sun. GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to fantasyfeline)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: New, but Old - 5/27/2005 10:17:29 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Age in bdsm works exactly as it does in the vanilla world.

Same issues, same quirks, same good and same bad.

How do you determine if someone is good or bad? The same way you always have in the vanilla world.

You're new, you don't have much to do on. So don't make a decision. Wait, learn, take time, explore offline, and make an informed consensual choice.

Check out the other forums, the questions you ask have been asked many times before- take comfort in that. The answers are here and most important, within yourself.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: New, but Old - 5/27/2005 5:47:22 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I am 50 and my slave is 47. If you have been curious about all of this, there is no reason to wait. This lifestyle is not about age. It is about trust, honesty and devotion. Just like a regular relationship only more intense. Ideally the bond created should only get stronger with time and age.
As for knowing the real from the players, it can be difficult, but if someone is pressuring you, that is one red flag. And above all, do not ignore red flags. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't.
Don't be afraid to ask questions either. We all started at the beginning. Good luck.

(in reply to fantasyfeline)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: New, but Old - 5/27/2005 6:59:56 PM

perfection20005

Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline

You're only as old as you feel. You're still in the prime of you life girl.
This lifestyle isn't very different than the vanilla life. You have to be really careful about who you meet and where you meet. Just use your common sense, and go with your gut feeling. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.
Do a lot of research on the lifestyle. There are a lot of good websites out there to find out lots of info. You can never know too much.
Good luck.

perfection

(in reply to fantasyfeline)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: New, but Old - 5/27/2005 11:07:05 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

Welcome to the forums

quote:

I'm wondering if I'm to old to full-fill this fantasy.

I was 54 when i was introduced to BDSM and subsequently learned why i always felt there was something missing in my life. I wish i had learned all this when i was your age (or younger). There seem to many Doms interested in older women because i still get contacted regularly even though my profiles clearly says i am not available. Good luck in your journey.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to fantasyfeline)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: New, but Old - 6/2/2005 2:42:07 PM

Mia1978

Posts: 41
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline

46 - NOT old :) There are many doms that would love to have you. Set that issue aside, it is not an issue :)

First step in finding a dom: Know what you want and know your limits

Another step: Keep your antenae up.

If he is not attentive, doesn't listen, doesn't remember the things you talk to him about...not good. Study him, keep his emails and pay close attention to what he says (and what he doesn't say). Finding a loving dom that is right for you will take some time so be patient. If he doesn't keep his word, if he constantly changes his mind, if he blames his short-comings on you...not good.

He should be as attentive to all the details of what makes you YOU, as you are attentive to finding out what type of dom he is. I think in a Long Term Dom/sub relationship, a good dom needs to know his sub inside out and upside down if he is going to get in your head and provide the mental side of it all. You have to be able to trust him and he has to know what makes you tick. Haha, and you have to want to obey, the reward has to be worth it to You.

As the others said, this is very much like the Vanilla world. You want to find someone who is honest, consistant, a good communicator, someone who respects you and your needs...

Don't forget that people instinctively put their best foot forward. Some of them know what you want to hear and can swipe you off your feet, but if it is all a show they won't be able to keep it up and you'll see the holes and dishonesty if you are closely watching.

Definately follow your instincts. That's can't be emphasized enough. I personally don't think being a sub has anything to do with fear of your dom. (maybe it is that way for some though).

Stick around this website. There are a lot of good people here who love to help and offer feedback.

Best wishes!

(in reply to fantasyfeline)

Profile

Post #: 7