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Limits to pain and damage for Sadists - 6/6/2007 3:03:32 PM   
Koldztone


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline 		Hello all...i am new but I just started going into BDSM particulary S & M and a female Sadist told me that a Sadist's limits are just how much she can do to the Sub/Slave/Bottom before he calls out for the safeword, and what can she do to him that her conscience will let her live with.

She said that some Subs/Slaves think they can fill a cup in their Mistresses, that a number of lashes, a level of damage, a quota of pain and damage will fill her tank and leave her happy, but she said that it is the other way around, that Sadism never runs out, it just tries to fill the Sub/Slave's cup, his capacity to take pain and damage without going over the edge of the cup. She said that being with a Sadist is like being with a Vampire, as much as you love her to let her drink your blood, her thirst has no real limit, but that doesn't mean you can let her dry you up and kill you or slowly wear you down and suck the life out of you like a plant dries and withers.

Is she telling me the truth?
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RE: Limits to pain and damage for Sadists - 6/6/2007 3:09:08 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Equate sadism to a persons sex drive.  So, given that, her description seems accurate enough, if not complete.

And limits = things you choose not to do/are unable to do

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RE: Limits to pain and damage for Sadists - 6/6/2007 3:56:23 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		She is telling you the truth for her... it's rather arrogant for her to claim to know this about anyone else in my opinion or maybe that's the arrogance in me.

I get urges to be sadistic that go beyond my daily teasing. When they hit, we do a planned out scene. But I get off on the reactions specifically the knowledge that my slave is hurting, is in pain, and is not enjoying it, so with a non-masochist I need less SM than I do with a masochist.

With a masochist I'm actually more in top mode than in sadist mode.

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RE: Limits to pain and damage for Sadists - 6/6/2007 4:06:08 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		Ditto above.

I am NOT a masocist, actually I am not fond of 'pain pain' I evnjoy 'hurt so good pain,' very much. I will push my own limits when I am with a partner for whatever reason, yet, in the end, I do rely on my parnter to know when to say when. At times, I can go beyond what a partner may think I can, hense the 'grade' of safeword I use. A complete sadist will continue after a safeword is said or to the point where a slave says their equivelant of 'STOP ALL ACTION NOW!!' sometimes even go beyond that for tier own satisfaction. 

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RE: Limits to pain and damage for Sadists - 6/6/2007 4:31:10 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		Both ways are true.  For some relationships the 'cup' or 'lowest common denominator' is in the hands of the sadist, the masochist is insatiable.  For other relationshps, the LCD is based on the masochist, as the sadist is insatiable. 

Of course, insatiable is the extreme. It's really a measure of who feels that they've had enough...  There is a point where a person will pass out from pain, that should be the hard limit for any couple, regardless of desire.  Also, as it was mentioned somewhere above... Most humans can ingest about one pint of blood before they'll vomit.  Don't ask.

< Message edited by HeavansKeeper -- 6/6/2007 4:32:41 PM >

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RE: Limits to pain and damage for Sadists - 6/6/2007 4:34:32 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Koldztone

Hello all...i am new but I just started going into BDSM particulary S & M and a female Sadist told me that a Sadist's limits are just how much she can do to the Sub/Slave/Bottom before he calls out for the safeword, and what can she do to him that her conscience will let her live with.

She said that some Subs/Slaves think they can fill a cup in their Mistresses, that a number of lashes, a level of damage, a quota of pain and damage will fill her tank and leave her happy, but she said that it is the other way around, that Sadism never runs out, it just tries to fill the Sub/Slave's cup, his capacity to take pain and damage without going over the edge of the cup. She said that being with a Sadist is like being with a Vampire, as much as you love her to let her drink your blood, her thirst has no real limit, but that doesn't mean you can let her dry you up and kill you or slowly wear you down and suck the life out of you like a plant dries and withers.

Is she telling me the truth?


Maybe you're giving a very poor account of your friend's account of the limits a sadist can have.

Some people-on-the-bottom may view things as your friend describes. Other could hardly care less what, if anything, the sadist derives from the pain transaction; they may be in it very selfishly for the pain they seek.

A wide range of other possibilities, varying along numerous dimensions, are also familiar to me, none of which seem to fit anywhere in your friend's pat little two-dimensional scheme.

If the first question you care to ask after hearing something like what she told you is: "Is this true?" it might be well to open up the way you encounter oinformation as you begin exploring all this.

There are a lot of important ways to evaluate information, particularly opinions, which aren't focused solely or even primarily on truth/falsity.

If your friend meant to provide the framework of a sort of mythic narrative which a person or a couple could inhabit as a framework for their experiences, that's one thing. I can see her account succeeding in that way for some people some of the time.

I doubt she meant to indicate that what was mentioned is the entire range of limits a sadist could have. If she did mean that she just said a silly thing for which she might apologize and be excused.

I hope you get a chance to talk with her further, and that when you do you encounter what she says in a broader, more imaginative way than simply to wonder whether it is True or False.

Best of luck

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RE: Limits to pain and damage for Sadists - 6/6/2007 5:48:18 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I am very much a sadist...for a masochist.  I have NO desire to cause undue pain to those who don't get off on it.  I have had subs in the past who were not pain pups and when that was the case, I simply enjoyed my friend who is a pain puppy.  He always leaves saying how thankful he is that he can provide a service for me like no one else can.  It's very true.

If I go months without inflicting pain so be it.  Do I have a desire to push my masochist beyond his hard limits?  Nope.  I am fortunate that Robert loves feeling my pain.  It was an unexpected pleasure because I was more than willing to take him "as is" because we click on all the important stuff.  Had I learned that cutting him was a hard limit, then I wouldn't have cut him.  If I had learned he hated to be bitten so hard it left a mark for a week and broke some skin, then I'd not do that.  Simple.  If that makes me a "fake" sadist in they eyes of your friend (or anyone)...oh well.

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RE: Limits to pain and damage for Sadists - 6/6/2007 7:31:54 PM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		After viewing a few films on bdsm.  Sometimes I wonder when there are news reports on victims that were found bound, gagged, tied and taped up.  If they are sometimes actually bdsm gone bad.   I steer away from extreme pain and torture. 

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RE: Limits to pain and damage for Sadists - 6/6/2007 7:42:43 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		MS Pleasure bdsm is about concent....what you are referring to to criminal....the exact opposite

OP listen with with both ears to what she is saying, and then decide for yourself....but to me yes BDSM is an a hunger just like food or sex, you can sate it temporarily but you will get rumbly in the tumbley soon enough.

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RE: Limits to pain and damage for Sadists - 6/7/2007 2:25:15 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm going to echo Earthycouple's comment (We so often agree) on My vision of sadism.  I reserve those types of play for those who enjoy it.  There's a difference in dispensing pain as a part of punishment, and playing with pain for fun.  It has everything to do with who My play partner is at the time.  If he is a masochist, then we can enjoy a, b, and c.  If he's not, then we don't and do other things instead.
 
If we are both enjoying what we're participating in, why should the cup run out?  It's two sides of the same coin, really, like many other things in BDSM.  The sadist enjoys giving pain and the masochist enjoys receiving it.  When the other half of the equation isn't there, it just doesn't work for Me.

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RE: Limits to pain and damage for Sadists - 6/7/2007 2:47:36 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline
quote:

If we are both enjoying what we're participating in, why should the cup run out?  It's two sides of the same coin, really, like many other things in BDSM.  The sadist enjoys giving pain and the masochist enjoys receiving it.  When the other half of the equation isn't there, it just doesn't work for Me.

 
Beautifully said. I see it as a never ending power circuit between two people. Both must be present for it to work.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

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RE: Limits to pain and damage for Sadists - 6/7/2007 3:09:50 PM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		I understand very well its about consent.   But accidents can and do happen in the world of bdsm. 

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RE: Limits to pain and damage for Sadists - 6/8/2007 12:58:52 AM   
onthenosetone


Posts: 118
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		*NODS* at MsPleasure

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Limits to pain and damage for Sadists - 6/8/2007 1:45:33 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Thank you, Ms Jo.  I was a bit concerned that I didn't express My point very well, but I was hoping others with a sadist side would understand what I meant.

(in reply to onthenosetone)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Limits to pain and damage for Sadists - 6/8/2007 7:56:43 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
quote:

Hello all...i am new but I just started going into BDSM particulary S & M and a female Sadist told me that a Sadist's limits are just how much she can do to the Sub/Slave/Bottom before he calls out for the safeword, and what can she do to him that her conscience will let her live with.


She sounds like an intelligent woman.  Good BDSM is based on trust, earning respect and liking yourself.  And when it stops feeling good, yer stop doing it. 




_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to Koldztone)
Profile   Post #: 15
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