How To Be An Intolerable Dom

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How To Be An Intolerable Dom - 6/8/2007 9:52:55 AM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
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How To Be An Intolerable Dom

~ Insist that all Bondage play be done only with Silly string.

~ For gagging, use Giant Supersourball Bubble gum, found in Grocery vending machines.

~ When your sub starts turning blue from too-tight bounds, tell them how it brings out the color of their eyes ...

~ Make them embroider "This Ass Owned and operated by Mistress/Master (insert name here) on all of their work clothes.

~ Flog your submissive... just before they reach sub-space, sing all verses and Choruses of "Tie me Kangaroo down sport" while circling them with the silly-string can on full blast...

~ Asked to be served watermelon, at a play party...bend them over, naked of course, and have a seed spitting contest with all the Dominants aiming for the sub's anus.

~ For wax-play, paint your sub entirely black, then drip a colorful pattern on them with your brand new box of 96 vibrant colored crayolas, scratch the colors off with a toothpick, revealing an interesting design underneath... ~ When they call their safeword, make them say "pretty please"... then "pretty please with sugar on top"...before you stop.

~ Have a new favorite flogger made of gummiworms.

~ Superglue the nipple clamps ON.

~ Send your sub to the Dairy Queen for 2 quarts of Milkshakes, when they return, have the enema bag hanging in full view.

~ Sit upright for a backrub, keep saying "a little to the left" until they get dizzy from going around you.

~ Wear rainbow socks with toes in them with your 5" stilettos for that foot fetishist submissive.

~ Replace the St. Andrew's Cross in the dungeon with a life size replica of "Barney the purple Dinosaur" that sings, "I love you, you love me..." attach metal cuffs to the arms and legs of sub and Barney, go watch a video of Gone With The Wind.

~ Take your sub to K-mart...lose them and have them called over the intercom: "Will the red assed-sissyboy/sub-gal (insert favorite humiliating term) meet your Master/Goddess at the customer service desk"

~ Give all directives and commands in a Donald Duck voice. ~ When tired of the Donald Duck voice, use pig-latin.

~ When you sub begs to cum, look perplexed and say, "silly...you are already here"

~ Insist that you are a born natural with a bull whip.

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RE: How To Be An Intolerable Dom - 6/8/2007 7:07:07 PM

LadyDominaX

Posts: 173
Joined: 5/17/2007
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Oh, these two ideas are beyond evil:

" ~ Wear rainbow socks with toes in them with your 5" stilettos for that foot fetishist submissive.
~ Replace the St. Andrew's Cross in the dungeon with a life size replica of "Barney the purple Dinosaur" that sings, "I love you, you love me..." attach metal cuffs to the arms and legs of sub and Barney, go watch a video of Gone With The Wind."

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RE: How To Be An Intolerable Dom - 6/9/2007 7:54:23 AM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
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Ummmmm, y'know stuffed Barneys are a severe fire hazard right ?

T

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RE: How To Be An Intolerable Dom - 6/9/2007 10:05:57 AM

YourShyPet

Posts: 185
Joined: 6/30/2006
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Ok I could work with him if I could talk him into putting a strap on harness on Barney.

"MMMM FUCK ME BARNEY! FUCK ME!"

kittin

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RE: How To Be An Intolerable Dom - 6/24/2007 8:53:06 PM

MadameMajidah

Posts: 89
Joined: 1/25/2007
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OH.MY. GOD!
I have Just been emotionally SCARRED beyond belief...
goes into the closet and cries softly humming * were a great big family.. hmmmhmmmhmm hug from me to you wont you say you love me -NOO barney!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO your tail doesnt go there!!!! AHHHHH****

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RE: How To Be An Intolerable Dom - 6/24/2007 10:07:08 PM

ClosetSinner

Posts: 77
Joined: 3/29/2006
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All I can say is...wow...horrible mental image.

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RE: How To Be An Intolerable Dom - 6/24/2007 10:29:39 PM

MercTech

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Joined: 7/4/2006
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I'm singing Joe Bethancort's song "Let's send Barnie to Jurassic Park" That song is going to be in my mind for hours.

Stefan

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RE: How To Be An Intolerable Dom - 6/25/2007 9:01:36 AM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
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{considers blocking darchclyde's posts so i wont ever have to see those horrid things again .. prays that MJ won't see them and think they are great ideas}

SAFEWORD SAFEWORD

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RE: How To Be An Intolerable Dom - 6/25/2007 6:52:34 PM

Trampler

Posts: 580
Joined: 12/31/2006
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oh gods, those are great. I love the Barney idea, but the silly string? hehehe. **rubs hands together gleefully, and smiling evilly**

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RE: How To Be An Intolerable Dom - 6/25/2007 7:14:49 PM

freyjasdottir

Posts: 253
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: PA
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I have been known to start singing the Barney song at work as the boss and one of the supervisors both dispise it. I do happen to know all the words and can sound annoyingly young.

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RE: How To Be An Intolerable Dom - 6/25/2007 7:21:12 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
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after reading these, Ma'am has bought an entire case of silly string, saying "too bad it's not Halloween, i could have gotten black"

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to freyjasdottir)

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