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Mind your manners! - 5/29/2005 2:11:54 AM

TulipTouch

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/7/2005
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If this is in the wrong place I'm really sorry, but I've just about reached the peak of sexual frustration and I need to grind. My Partner just left! Left me when I was in a disgustingly deplorable mood and for no other reason that his own personal amusement, from what I can fathom. Surely seeing the fact that I'm utterley frustrated isn't that satisfying. I swear to God I'm going to burn every pair of fishnets I own just to spite him. (I'd find something more risque to ruin, but I can bring myself to destroy anything expensive!) He threatened me with leaving and then he up and left. As though he was proving a point! I'm in control! The little piece of....as if I didn't know that! Oh who am I kidding, Lord only knows what trouble I'd get into if I started burning things.

I suppose it's my own fault for getting too cocky with him. But I do think I deserve the right to 'rage against the machine' so to speak even if he was making sure I knew my manners. Any other punishment, but LEAVING!!!! Do Dom's/Domme's simply intuitively know what will succeed it irritating you the most? Or is that simply a special gift? No, that wasn't my only point. I just needed to rant angrily at something (even if it was just a computer) and I wanted to ask others about any 'teething' problems they've had in the past and the best way to deal with them. (I have to confess, I've gone from being a switch to a sub and I'm finding it difficult to roll over and play nice all of the time, no matter how much it appeals to me)

Anyway, yeah. I'm all done and feel better for my button bashing, keyboard abuse.

TT

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RE: Mind your manners! - 5/29/2005 8:26:06 PM

Mandalin

Posts: 103
Joined: 2/7/2005
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Go ahead and vent TulipTouch! It's better than letting it boil up inside and having it explode at the wrong place and time! Like mine did last weekend! My story is posted here in the lounge under, "how do I get my Master's attention". I was in a raging furry last weekend and ended up kicking the computer off the stand and crashing it! And then I let my Master have it ! I've never felt such rage and anger in my life, and everything blew! I got His attention though and things have never been better this week. I dont recomend my actions...they were quite severe...but it did my point across loud and clear!

Good Luck and if you need to talk to someone, please email me anytime!

Mandalin

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Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and let us play

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RE: Mind your manners! - 5/30/2005 8:33:46 AM

MsSilvie

Posts: 248
Joined: 2/4/2005
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It is a special skill.... we all learned it in the super secret Dom/me school.

ooops, I shouldn't have mentioned that, should I?

_____________________________

Strange thoughts beget strange deeds.

- Percy Bysshe Shelley

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RE: Mind your manners! - 5/31/2005 1:13:13 AM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

-laughs- Awww... you let the cat right out of the bag!

I'd only use that to discipline though...

I think that anyone with a decent grasp on psychology would understand that it's an effective method of discipline.

A submissive I scened with for quite a while wanted to try for a full three day stint of submission. I knew he wasn't ready to let himself be taken over but I hashed it out with him saying that I'd keep the D/s light. He couldn't handle that either. Part of him just wasn't ready.

The next morning he asked what he should wear. I told him that he could wear whatever he wanted. He then asked what I wanted for breakfast. I told him I had already eaten. I said that I would be heading home and he could have a free day. He could do as he pleased. He could come and go without asking for permission. He could eat, drink and wear what he wished. There would be no management - no control whatsoever.

Less than an hour later he was seated beside my chair as I used my computer looking forlorn and rather lost. He craved the control, but he wasn't sure how to just let himself trust. He wanted so badly to impress and please. But he wasn't sure about handing over everything that he was.

I ignored him completely unless he spoke to me. And when he asked questions I responded, but never asked for anything - never made demands.

After about half an hour he spoke up, "Ma'am?"

I glanced toward him, brow gradually rising in silent question.

He looked up, met my gaze for a moment before looking away. Hesitantly he began again, "Ma'am. I feel uncomfortable. I don't feel - right."

I paused, considering his words. Without a word I took hold of him by the hair and began to pull him closer gently until I had half of him in my lap. He wiggled a bit closer and began to cry silently. I typed with one hand, still not speaking to him.

I'm not sure how much time passed but eventually he whispered a "thank you" so quiet that I almost didn't hear him. I had a feeling I understood why he'd said it, but I murmured, "Clarify."

He said that he felt much more serene - more than he'd ever felt. And a bit of that barrier... that mental blockade had cracked, letting him savor the feeling of a gentle, quiet control.

Ack... pardon the little story. I'm quite sleepy!

< Message edited by MadameDahlia -- 5/31/2005 1:14:57 AM >

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

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RE: Mind your manners! - 5/31/2005 6:01:15 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Most people are pretty predictable and run along the same methods of communicating. Fears and desires are actually fairly common and can be played on almost universally.

It's such an ego we have when we realize "wait, I'm not the only one who reacts like this?"

Most doms are just like most people, but some do have a very good sense of intuition, a good empathy, a good breadth and depth of understanding and experience in relationships...some are special.

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RE: Mind your manners! - 5/31/2005 6:43:27 AM

MsSilvie

Posts: 248
Joined: 2/4/2005
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That's a great story! Sometimes, people need a little push to go where they want to go, mentally. And sometimes, they just need to sort it out for themselves and go when they are ready.

It takes a lot of intuitition and sensitivity to recognize how to best help someone else when they both want something but are a bit fearful about how to get it.

_____________________________

Strange thoughts beget strange deeds.

- Percy Bysshe Shelley

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RE: Mind your manners! - 5/31/2005 7:01:58 AM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

Many thanks.

I figured that I ought to know what I was getting into when I first heard the term "BDSM" - that lovely catch all phrase that described how I'd felt, how I'd functioned for years and years...

I read and read and read while I waited to taste the freedoms that a legal age would grant me. I was off like a rocket once I could legally do what I was interested in without worrying that I might accidentally send someone off to the state's version of a dungeon for touching a (insert five letter taboo word here) or having a (same word) touch them in an intimate manner.

But I'd armed myself with knowledge... with an understanding of the Dominant and submissive mindset... with a clear understanding of who I was and what I wanted from life and the people in my life.

Oh I'm carrying on again... I've got to stop typing when I'm sleepy!

Anyway... I think I've got a decent grasp on psychology in general... And though I love seeing tears, writhing and apprehension... though I revel in the sounds of pain... whimpering, moaning... begging and sniffling... I've got a rather thick mothering streak that comes out now and then. So that coupled with (tooting my own horn, pardon me) my understanding of psychology seems to have helped me in life.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to MsSilvie)

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