Str8 sex with your slave

Str8 sex with your slave (Full Version)

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xxxstavros -> Str8 sex with your slave (5/29/2005 4:22:11 AM)
Ok, this is a rather naive question, but I am pretty new to the BDSM area. So this question goes to the Dommes. of the Forum. Is it ok for a woman Domme to have str8 sex with her slave? Is it done frequently or do slaves of women Dommes are forbidden to have str8 sex?

sarbonn -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/29/2005 6:56:34 AM)
I don't know why this is addressed to Dommes only but I'm going to answer anyway. I've been in a number of lifestyle relationships and some Dommes have had straight sex with me, some have had only bdsm-tied sex with me, and others have had zero sex with me. At least for me, it's always been more involved with the woman deciding what is and is not appropriate in our relationship, and contrary to popular belief, that can be quite comfortable no matter what the circumstances when it comes to sex. The very last Domme I served was a young woman who was new into the whole thing. She was saving herself for marriage, so there was never any sex. There was lots of intimacy and lots of sensual energy, but just not that one action. At one vulnerable moment in the relationship, she even offered sex as a possibility of keeping the relationship going, but that was the one time I really chose to make an important decision and declined, knowing that as she had spent her entire life saving herself for marriage, and it was obvious we were moving in opposite directions, I didn't want her to have to remember that she lost that moment to me in a moment of confusion.

BeachMystress -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/29/2005 7:50:09 AM)
I'm really not sure why a male Dominant is asking what Domme do in personal relationships, but I'm sure you have your reasons.. First of all, are you asking specifically about slaves? Or are you using slave as a generic term for a submissive? I can't answer about slaves. I don't keep them and can't imagine I ever will. I suspect with you being new, you're using the term indiscriminately and will answer for the generic. It is fine for a Dominant to do whatever s/he pleases within her/his sub's limits and the limits of either SSC or RACK. If s/he wants vanilla sex, who is to deny it? It is what S/HE wants. I once had some so called Domme tell me that I wasn't a REAL Domme because I gave my sub oral sex for Valentine's Day. My response was to laugh at her and say, "How does doing what I want make me less of a Domme?" What others expect of me as a Domme, other than my sub/fiancee, doesn't matter in the least to me. I am not here to do what makes them happy or to impress them. I am in this for myself and my sub. Some Dominants choose not to have sex with their subs, either vanilla or kinky. More power to them. This lifestyle is about the Dominant making sure her/his needs are met in a way that makes her/him happy. As to the frequency of straight sex versus kinky sex, it depends upon the people involved. Everyone has different needs. My sub is monogamous with me, and doesn't get to have sex elsewhere. There is usually an element of BDSM to our love making, even if it is just affirmation of ownership.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/29/2005 7:53:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxxstavros Ok, this is a rather naive question, but I am pretty new to the BDSM area. So this question goes to the Dommes. of the Forum. Is it ok for a woman Domme to have str8 sex with her slave? Is it done frequently or do slaves of women Dommes are forbidden to have str8 sex? You'll find that the answers to your question will be as diverse as the personalities of the Dommes here. You might want to read some of the following threads for greater insight. sex with a personal slave and/or sex slaves A Domme's Sexuality Dommes & penetration Welcome to collarme. - LA

perverseangelic -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/29/2005 9:49:27 AM)
To quote Emerald, if you're asking "does anyone do this" the answer is resoundingly YES

SweetDommes -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/29/2005 9:58:16 AM)
I enjoy sex ... immensely ... so why on earth would I deny myself that? Hell yes I have sex with our boys. Holly, on the other hand, has some issues because of a broken pelvis that happened when she was about 10 years old. She does not enjoy sex because it's painful ... she does not have sex with our boys. It depends totally and completely on the people involved and what they have decided between them is appropriate. Karen

kc692 -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/29/2005 10:06:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxxstavros Ok, this is a rather naive question, but I am pretty new to the BDSM area. So this question goes to the Dommes. of the Forum. Is it ok for a woman Domme to have str8 sex with her slave? Is it done frequently or do slaves of women Dommes are forbidden to have str8 sex? Not trying to be cheeky, but I am confused as to the reason of your question also..is it because you are trying to compare your experience with whether or not as a Dom you do this, as compared to Dommes actions? I will say for myself, some relationships yes, some no..as the others said, every relationship and dynamic is different, even with the same Domme

MstrssPassion -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/29/2005 10:14:28 AM)
Some of us even like the all night marathon fucks that leave us sweaty & breathless... mattress hanging off the side of the frame & maybe a few pieces of furniture tipped over. Would that make any of us less dominant to be on all fours, missionary or going down on a cock of a submissive??? Not at all. When are people going to get a grip on reality & learn that this is real life & if we want to grunt & growl while having sex or have sex in the most traditional ways known... that is our choice with our partner(s) & not anyone elses business to critique or condone. MstrssPassion

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/29/2005 11:43:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxxstavros Is it ok for a woman Domme to have str8 sex with her slave? Is it done frequently or do slaves of women Dommes are forbidden to have str8 sex? It absolutely is okay, if that is what she wishes... For me, it's an absolute must, because I'm not looking for a colletion of subs/slaves/doms to play with; I'm interested in one, and sex will most definitely be a part of it. In my short experience, I've found that it is something you need to clarify upfront with whomever you're talking, because not all people who want to serve are interested/can have straight sex.. M

Kinkypupper -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/29/2005 6:46:44 PM)
Nothing at all wrong with it.. Why would there.??

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/29/2005 7:20:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: perverseangelic To quote Emerald, if you're asking "does anyone do this" the answer is resoundingly YES sniffle I'm so proud!

LadyAngelika -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/29/2005 7:31:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kinkypupper Nothing at all wrong with it.. Why would there.?? There is nothing wrong with it and there is nothing wrong with not doing it. That pretty much applies to all kinks that don't end up in tragedy. - LA

perverseangelic -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/29/2005 7:32:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2 quote: ORIGINAL: perverseangelic To quote Emerald, if you're asking "does anyone do this" the answer is resoundingly YES sniffle I'm so proud! What can I say? I know a good idea when I see one!

ElektraUkM -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/30/2005 1:44:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BeachMystress. This lifestyle is about the Dominant making sure her/his needs are met in a way that makes her/him happy. Is it also about the sub getting their needs met? I would like to think so. ~ Elektra

LadyAngelika -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/30/2005 5:04:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ElektraUkM quote: ORIGINAL: BeachMystress. This lifestyle is about the Dominant making sure her/his needs are met in a way that makes her/him happy. Is it also about the sub getting their needs met? I would like to think so. ~ Elektra I'm with you Elektra - it's not going to be a healthy match unless everyone is happy, lifestyle or no lifestyle. - LA

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/30/2005 5:42:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ElektraUkM quote: ORIGINAL: BeachMystress. This lifestyle is about the Dominant making sure her/his needs are met in a way that makes her/him happy. Is it also about the sub getting their needs met? I would like to think so. ~ Elektra Elektra, You haven't been here long enough to know BeachMystress or watch her posts, but my impression is that BeachMystress is very considerate and ensures her kinks match that of her sub/s so that everyone ends up getting their needs met... She knows how to lay down the law and show who's "Da Lady", but I'm certain her subbie doesn't get the short end... M

SweetDommes -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/30/2005 9:54:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig quote: ORIGINAL: ElektraUkM quote: ORIGINAL: BeachMystress. This lifestyle is about the Dominant making sure her/his needs are met in a way that makes her/him happy. Is it also about the sub getting their needs met? I would like to think so. ~ Elektra Elektra, You haven't been here long enough to know BeachMystress or watch her posts, but my impression is that BeachMystress is very considerate and ensures her kinks match that of her sub/s so that everyone ends up getting their needs met... She knows how to lay down the law and show who's "Da Lady", but I'm certain her subbie doesn't get the short end... M Very true - I have chatted with both Beach and Her toy before, and they are quite the happy (almost sickeningly [;)] [sm=tongue.gif] ) couple. After knowing Beach for ... um ... well, at least a year, and then meeting Her toy quite a few months ago, I would have to say that he is very happy with her - mostly because they are VERY well suited for each other. I can't imagine Beach settling for anything less in a boy - she would not be happy with it ... so her being happy includes her sub being happy, and I know that she feels that every Dominant should do the same.

BeachMystress -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/30/2005 8:00:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ElektraUkM quote: ORIGINAL: BeachMystress. This lifestyle is about the Dominant making sure her/his needs are met in a way that makes her/him happy. Is it also about the sub getting their needs met? I would like to think so. ~ Elektra Obviously it is. But the main person responsible for making sure the subs needs get met is the submissive. This starts with the sub knowing her/himself and knowing what they need, then making sure the Dominant they accept as theirs is worth having. Is this Dominant going to respect limits? Are they going to listen when the submissive talks or expresses them self? Are they going to make sure the submissive is safe, happy and content? Does the Dominant make sure to educate them self in safety, BDSM technique and human relations? Not all Dominants are created equal and not all who call themselves Dominant actually are.. It is your (collective your) job as a submissive to make sure the person you answer to will care about you, your safety and your needs. I understand it is hard for some subs (male especially) to find a Dominant. That doesn't mean you lower your standards and accept just anyone. Unfortunately, some Dominants "talk a good game" and are able to convince a submissive that they'd do a good job of taking care of the submissive and their needs, but once in a relationship, the needs are not met. It is the submissive's job to speak up and bring the problem to the Dominant's attention. If the Dominant can't or won't deal with the needs, then the submissive must make the decision to end the relationship and find someone who can meet their needs. Being sub doesn't make one helpless. It means that under certain conditions, you give yourself FREELY to another person.

BeachMystress -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/30/2005 8:04:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetDommes and they are quite the happy (almost sickeningly ) couple. LOL, we hear that a lot. Our friends roll their eyes at us. grins

SweetDommes -> RE: Str8 sex with your slave (5/30/2005 9:15:17 PM)
Gee, imagine that [;)][sm=lol.gif] Honestly, I think it's cute and I hope that we are always like that as well (I know that Holly and I are - rob is not nearly so ... open about it, but secretly, I think he wants to be sickeningly sweet with us LOL)

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