chiaThePet
Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cornprincess
Hello everyone, I am but a worthless submissive in her beginings of learning all about what she is and what she needs. I am new and will make many mistakes so please bear with me.
Thank you
Dear cornprincess, chia* here, thought i would revisit
the ThunderDome and see how things were progressing.
Ah yes, a familiar sight, traces of tattered Purina
Piranha chow scattered about, splatters of judicious
judgments adorning the pristine walls of wisdom,
running down in little streams of proper perspective,
gathering in pools of shimmering condemnation. The
sweet smell of vilification hanging solemnly in the
putrid air of penance purposely denied. Melodious
mocking ricochets yet, unsatisfied of it's appetite,
ravenous still for the taste of fresh meat. i gave
you clear warning to choose your weapons wisely
dear cornprincess, as here at the lovely CM, words
are the weapons of mass acclamation. Some strike
on target, some a bulls eye, and some go astray,
inviting the rapid fire response which is sure to
follow.
Feel the Love, embrace it, capture it's beautiful bounty.
i offer my hand to you cornprincess, to lift you up out
of it all, if just for a moment, if just to breathe. Here,
let me wipe some of that wondrous wisdom off of
you, that i might see you, that i might get to know you.
That i should remember also these words which were
shared in your OP, in addition to the ones which have
wrought opinion and pleasantries, as is expected, as
is the right of those whom choose to do such.
"in her beginnings of learning all about what she is and
what she needs. I am new and will make many mistakes
so please bear with me."
i am understanding of such, imperfect also, many times
falling to the incorrectness of my correctness.
Not to chastise, but a simple observation, the proper
spelling of "bear" here would be "bare", though the
resulting fallout certainly could be described as grizzly.
Just a simple notation for future consideration, and
more so to make a point of parallels.
i would like to share with you cornprincess, some feelings
and emotions of my own in regard to the topic at hand. That
being the self-worth, or lack of, in regard to submissives
in general, and the populace as a whole. i do not know, and
hold no expectation that the thoughts i share will hold any
meaning or credence to or for you. i do not possess the
knowledge of you to know wherein your beliefs resonate.
For myself, the worthiness of my being was shaped at a very
young age, as i was reminded on a daily basis by the Dominants
before me, that i was good for nothing, worthless, a pitiful
pustule upon the skin of Their allowance. i will interject
here, that perhaps my whole conception of Their Domination of
me, will not ring as truth to other Dominants, and i accept
such understanding that we are all individual and unique and
Their approach towards me is not a defining ideal of all.
It was however, the bread which i was served, the substance
which i ate and drank, ingrained, instilled, drilled into a
young mind which knew no better, which innocently looked
upon Their words as truth. i was to be the scorn of Their
dissatisfied rumblings, never good enough, nothing about me
ever good enough, and i believed. i ate everything which
was served on my plate, for somehow, if i did so, i might in
fact be pleasing in Their sight. i labored in the acceptance
of my unworthiness that i would somehow be found worthy,
this, the innocent and painful logic of a child. If i am all that
is required i be, i will be worthy in my unworthiness.
Life for me thus became a constant ache and need to please and
be pleasing, a never-ending quest to be good enough. Family,
relationships, school, employment, marriage, every path i
found myself on would ultimately lead to the ideal that if
i could succeed at being good at such, i would be found worthy.
i needed to find and possess that clarification, because i
understood myself as being incomplete without such. i therefore
excelled at task, that the recognition somehow soothed the pain.
When pure vanilla was found to be sweet, but not quite filling,
i began to venture back to the roots of my submissive nature,
admittedly seeking knowledge in mostly the wrong places. What
i found before me simply clarified through image and ideology,
that i was somehow a lesser person as a submissive. i quickly
reverted back to the same feelings that i was supposed to be
unworthy in order to have purpose to please and become worthy
in Their eyes. Sort of like when you're hungry and go to the
refrigerator, you open it, find nothing that appeals to you,
shrug and then close the door. A few minutes later, you're
back staring at the same availability as if by magic something
will suddenly appear that looks appetizing. i knew how identifying
with being unworthy made me feel, but i just kept going back
to the same thought, hoping that something would suddenly appear
which would make it a delicious entree worth biting into.
It was on one of these many trips to the refrigerator that a
wonderful Dom by the name of DarkBurning stepped between myself
and the cold icebox before me, demanding my attention, and taking
me in for an unbelievable journey of mentoring. Bless You Sir,
for the doors of understanding You generously opened for me.
i am of a submissive nature, such does in no way negate me as
a person of worth, on the contrary, i find strength in my ability
to surrender, obedience to the Hierarchy a powerful statement
which in fact brings me great joy and purpose. i do not lose who
and what i am to unworthiness, weaker than, lesser than, somehow
a pathetic being to those i share the same air with. We all have
needs and desires here cornprincess, every last one of us, for
whatever reason they have brought us here, for whichever purpose
they might fulfill. What i had believed as truth, was exposed as the
fallacy it was, at least where i was concerned, as it had affected me.
No absolutes here cornprincess, beyond the TOS which we are held to,
all else is the spoken word of others, some softly offered as simple
sharing, others offered in rapid succession, wounding what they will,
on target or off, followed by squeals as prizes are claimed here at
the Carnival of Correctness. Step right up cornprincess, life can be
a circus, the thrills, the spills, magicians and clowns, two headed
ponies and a bevy of bearded Ladies all lined up in a row. Come one,
come all, all can enter, all can ride, all are afforded the opportunity.
i do not know if anything i have shared with you here has enlightened
or uplifted you Dear cornprincess, as we are what we are. i simply
desired to make sure that how you felt was not as it was with me,
the application of others, a design not of my own. As some have shared
here, there are those whom shall find comfort in feeling unworthy,
and those whom will seek and nurture such. But know it is not expected
nor demanded of you in order for you to live your submissive nature.
Rise above image and ideology, know your heart and that which it seeks,
whatever path it shall set you upon, and find comfort there.
Know that you possess the right to speak of and for yourself, whatever
feelings or emotions compel you forth to do such. And do expect that
along the way, voices will ask for clarification, will offer advice,
will draw you into the ThunderDome for a spirited round of flaming
arrows and the ever popular boiling oil balloon toss, it will happen.
But dear cornprincess, you must be aware also, that simply placing
your beliefs upon their shoulders as though they should be expected
to adorn themselves in such never sits well at the dinner table.
And as you witnessed here, the sideshow, complete with refreshments
most certainly included creamed corn on the menu, and oh how we love
to eat.
Be well, do be yourself, do understand and defend yourself as you
are inspired, choosing wisely your weapons to engage in such. i will
remember that you have indeed asked for patience as you are new in
your journey here, likewise you also must offer such patience to
those whose paths you shall cross. After all, i'll bet you hate the
smell of burned popcorn just as much as do i.
chia* (the pet)
_____________________________
Love is a many splendid sting.
You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.
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RE: A worthless submissive says Hi - 
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