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TigerNINTails -> RE: Dominants do you court your potential submissives? (6/11/2007 3:14:40 AM)
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I think courting, to a degree is necessary in the forming of a healthy relationship. It highlights the amount of interest expressed between two people, and if there's a mutual interest, there should probably be a mutual courtship occuring to a certain extent.
Now that I've gotten my "nilla comment" outta the way, I'll dive into the way I see it. [:D]
I don't court my slaves. I might express interest, but I tend not to chase. I'm in LordandMaster's camp on this one.
I also view what occurs when I'm interested in a potential slave more akin to hunting, than courtship. While I might do things, that would seem to be romantic gestures, such as give her flowers (or more likely A flower, such as to put in her hair or something) I don't much subscribe to the traditional courting values. I'm really not much for mushy romanticism.
I have a propensity for hanging back, observing, evaluating, conversing, etc. on a more casual tone. When the interest is expressed towards me, I tend to move much more swiftly than in normal relationships.
Engaging swiftly and decisively in a relationship defining sort of scene is more my speed. Of course, this takes some conversation to determine that this person is right for that, obviously. But it's not the sort of conversation that one would consider suitable for court-ship, it's more like "pre-pounce negotiations".
But up to that point, I observe first, ensure that there is interest in the first place, lay the cards on the table and wait for the next move, which tells me whether I leap, or whether I slip out quietly.
It's a lot less on the courting end in the beginning and more of a watch and wait scenario... It isn't till I begin to develop deeper feelings for someone that I start doing things that might be of a more romantic nature. I guess that means that I'm really only romantic with those I have a vested interest in.
But traditional courting... No... I leave that to those that are good at it. I'm just not. Being a gentleman however, is part of my approach. While not romantic, I tend to be in tune with what would woo a woman into my "trap" so to speak. The whole, dinner, movie, walk and talk in the park, getting into her (not literally, that usually has already happened, or will soon [;)] ), listening to what her dreams, desires are, etc.
I do appreciate the more intimate quiet moments. But I'm not much of a "courtship" kind of guy.
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